Maybe I should switch my religion from Catholic to Islamic. Why? So I could wear those fancy head scarves out of religious reasons and hide my frown face behind beautiful fabrics, called burkas. I want to hide my pain and suffering and the cover will do me justice. Behind burkas I could be free knowing that only my small, upturned eyes will show just my soul and nothing more.
I may have Body dysmorphic disorder:
Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD) (previously known as dysmorphophobia[1] is sometimes referred to as body dysmorphia or dysmorphic syndrome[2]) is a (psychological) somatoform disorder in which the affected person is excessively concerned about and preoccupied by a perceived defect in his or her physical features (body image). Depending on the individual case, BDD may either be a somatoform disorder or part of an eating disorder or both: BDD always includes a debilitating or excessive fear of judgment by others, as is seen with social anxiety, social phobia and some OCD problems; or, alternately, it may be a part of eating disorders such as anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa and compulsive overeating. The term “body dysmorphic disorder” itself describes only those excessive social-acceptance fears that relate to one’s personal body image. Depending on the individual, it may or may not also be part of one of these wider or related syndromes.
I’m already purging and binging everyday. I want to feel and be beautiful on the outside, too.
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