Dear diary,
I’m still awake but feeling sleepy after three hours of Easter Vigil, which ended 2300 pm. After mass and seeing the next group of Vietnamese coming in with their reddish outfit (I was wearing red, too), my daddy and I hurried to the car. I heard a soprano scold her husband, while their freakishly tall son with long hair followed.
Up ahead towards the front parking lot and no sooner than reaching the opening end to the narrow alleyway, I saw two freakishly THIN and TALL humanzied males.
One looked like a blondish surfer with straight hair reaching the shoulders. He was powering a fast walk while using a cane, which he held in his right hand. Behind him was a dark-haired ALIEN, who wore those George Michael type DARK shades.
The blond male wore light clothing but I forgot the colors. The brunette male wore a dark pants suit with white shirt. Upon their intersection or crossing our path and headed in the opposite direction towards the back school yard parking lot, I whispered loudly: Yeshua.
Of course, I was saying the shortened and then the long-version of the banishing prayer prior to the celebrants being dunked or rather having water poured over their head thrice.
One thing I notice was that blondish guy had a bony skull structure, gaunt cheeks hollowed out, and prominent brow ridge overhanging deep-set eyeballs.
Both were seated in the forward-facing pews, left side aisles, near the east-wing section of the church. So that’s it for weird stuff, other than my daddy getting lost – standing up suddenly to sing, getting ready for Communion that wasn’t ready for the choir box, and buggin me how to unlock the iPad which he knows how to do.
That’s the price of being held hostage by entities. I noticed that he would fidget or wiggle in his seat after I would say those banishing prayers. I noticed a few days ago, I guess that was the one dry time after a rainy spell when we visited or were gonna visit my mommy, that he swatted upon himself or the front of his clothing upon after my saying aloud a shortened form, kinda like a positive affirmation, Yeah, or Ya (way). I think I might have pronounced Yahweh before a long, drawn Yah.
So I’m still disappointed that such entities are allowed to thrive and present themselves in various ways.
Oh, oh, and yesterday morning, I awoke some thirty minutes before my scheduled awaken time at seven o’clock, used the toilet, and went back to bed uncomfortably.
I turned to the left but my neck felt off. My left rotor cuff would bother me after a while, and then I turned to the right but my neck felt off too. I turned back to the left and then when I felt uncomfortable, I turned to the right. I could never sleep comfortably on my sides after pulling both my rotor cuffs long ago and after lifting heavy buckets of rainwater recklessly and due to my anger that my daddy refuses to be pro-active and slow in his ways.
And so after trying to turn onto my right side, I might have experienced (what I later looked up online for its meaning), a Benign Paroxysmal Positional Vertigo, or BPPV. I felt VERY terrible as I struggled to steady my lying form and took deep breaths to avoid passing out.
I elevated the adjustable bed and continued to take deep breaths while trying to depressurize my spinal column and my painful neck, with a Snap, Crackle, and Pop. This sensation was different from the one in public, where I heard the loud buzzing, saw the tunnel vision, felt the prickling sensation, and overall weakness. I had donated blood and didn’t eat enough or well the previous night or the same morning. Plus, I was driving and the weather was somewhat warm.
So after two hours of passing out in to blissful sleep, I arose again to use the toilet and felt the same dizzying feeling, that I had to lower my head into my folded arms across the sink. I was still sitting on the toilet when I heard my daddy come downstairs to ask how was my sleep. I couldn’t answer well and have been snappy at him for eight months now.
Once the dizzy feeling subsided enough, I ate a Allah snack back made outta apricot fruit from Nutri-Grain, and chugged down the remaining strawberry and banana fruit drink – both as a precaution that my blood sugar might have been low.
Yeah, so I rationalized afterwards and probably had strong thoughts and words said aloud to my mommy that I should go too because if I keep messing up at work and mouthing off at my daddy, that’s not gonna do my any good, since I’ve no kids, no grandkids, and no other responsibilities other than the two remaining parakeets, who took a nice bath splashing yesterday afternoon, any my daddy, who is losing weight from portioning the food like a bunch of pauper, when we secured for life.
The amazing part of my humanized experience is the regret that I’ll never fully appreciated being alive – just forcing myself to exist for nothing. And this is knowing and drinking the cups of truth – that no one will ever change and that nothing is new under the sun – only the bad actors, re-branding of words and story-lines, have changed for each era.
20190420-0122. I forgot to add that my left jaw has been giving me trouble and pain after I was playing with the alignment in the past weeks. My night guard don’t seem to work and the device hurt my teeth. Yesterday, as I was brushing my greasy, oil hair out from the upturned bun atop my head for securing the CPAP strap, I felt pain at the the roots of my hairs, misaligned hair shafts. This would be the first time that such pain existed. I took Vitamin C and iron supplements as a precaution too. I’m falling apart but that’s life, eh.
Sincerely,
Flynn B.
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