Dear diary,
I have successfully shaved Dad’s hair. It’s easy peasy. I also scolded him for looking like a homeless because he didn’t shave his beard. I had to get loud again because he wouldn’t go away and take a shower as he tried to get my sympathy on his allergies. If he wore a hospital mask during the hiking due to dust and STRONG winds, he wouldn’t get the sniffles. I swear he is gonna kill me early from stress.
Anyway, the tools that I used were: the electric trimmer with plastic comb guides numbered 1, 2, and 3; a modern double-edged safety razor; and a sharpened pair of scissors.
I started out with a number three (# 3) for the sides, all the way up to the straight side of his skull before the curve of the flattened crown. (I’m sorry but that’s what it looks like and that may be the reason for his slowness – lack of brain grayish matter). He had lots of hair so I used this number first to trim back the excess.
I then used the number two (# 2) to trim off more from the sides and bottom. Next, I used the number one (# 1) to trim off more from behind the ears. I then used the scissors to trim carefully the stray hairs from behind the ears. I also used the scissors to blend the remaining long hairs on the very top and middle or center of his flattened crown to the sides of stubborn skull.
I then used a “modern double-edged safety razor” to remove the unruly stray hairs at the nape of the neck and to blend the hairline upward with the rest of the bottom hairs. I also got pissed off at him and proceeded to shave off his sideburns all the way!
Voila! I’ve done a good deed for the old guy; and as I was processing his request, I was transmitting my thoughts to Mom, so she won’t think that I wasn’t ‘taking care of Dad’.
Of course, that meant he owed me a burger and beer for whatever that effort was worth. This is to save money because the idiots out there don’t really take the time to CLEAN the stray hairs.
Sincerely,
Flynn B a VERY talented and good daughter; but who TF cares? No one, except my own family, who probably don’t really care either. I shared three photos of Dad’s new hairdo via text messaging with Das Squirrel but he didn’t reply.
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