What do they taste like? (An open forum thread about a senior cop asking a rookie).
Okay, so I’m still crying after watching a sad movie about two old people dying together in bed at a nursing home. The old lady went senile and didn’t recognize her family or husband, who stayed by her side and read stories about two lovers. He had hoped that one day she would remember that the stories were about them when they were younger.
Now, whenever someone (real or fictional) starts to cry, I cry. Whenever the movies are about love and romance and something tragic happens, I cry. I swore to avoid these types of movies at all cost and save my tears for funerals. But tonight, I couldn’t hold my composure and had to shed some tears while the twosome joined us for the remaining thirty minutes or so of the movie on ‘ABC Family’.
I wiped away my tears with a paper towel nearby and didn’t care for the scratchiness of the material. Getting up a couple of times and had to blow my nose and wash out my eyes, which didn’t help either as I sat down to cry again at the sad scenes.
Nowadays, I rarely cry in front of people and vowed not to show weakness in front of my family or public for pettiness of life’s dramatic events. This started during my teenage years when ‘he hurt my feelings’. He was a teaser and still is. Whenever the tears flow this bad, it is a very good indicator that my period will start the following morning.
Usually, I get loud and irritable around this time of the month and I still do but not as obvious like some soap operas as dramatized on televised programming. But over the years of self-discipline to overcome the feelings of weakness, I learned to control the flow of tears.
Tear-filled eyes only make the white part of my eyes red. My eyelids would get puffy and the surrounding tissues of my eyes and nose areas get puffy and pink, too. It’s not an attractive sight. The makeup just makes a puffy face, well, puffier.
However puffy one’s visage may appear, crying clears out the sinuses and provides an outlet of emotions. Tears flow due to pain and suffering from loss. I think that is why ‘G-d’ is merciful and allows most of us to forget our ‘past lives’, if any. It’s almost like spiritual amnesia. But the sadness is inherently ever present.
What is truly sad is the definition of a person, who ‘it’ is, why ‘it’ is here and how ‘it’ has become. Photos and videos only capture the moments. Some are cherished others are long forgotten. Memories come and go as they please and eventually fade in time to forever for some, which explains why I don’t bother with scenes past. They will be forgotten and the sentimental value that went along with those will be gone anyway.
That is why I cried tonight. The actors cried at a loss of a loved one, not physically but in memory. This is truly a death when a person no longer remembers ‘itself’ and others. The definition of a person may well be the ability to recall its past both happy and sad. I hate sad stories! It tastes sad! But tears tastes salty.
Copyright © 2008 by Fluffy von der Flynn. All rights reserved.
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