http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/01/28/writing-challenge-1000-words/
“Hugs is the universal language of love.” (Sanni Ceto – a hyrid E.T.)
I don’t recall feeling truly in love with a significant other but rather a sense of recognition of the person’s presence, a feeling more of affection than sexual or profound, but the connection of belonging to a time and place where love exists.
One day, I’d like to travel to countries where chivalry once flourished and where romance still lingers. One such country could have been Paris but now it’s full of Muslims and I don’t think they appreciate open affection in public.
Perhaps, it’s not visiting countries to find love or to feel in love. But to gain a sort of spiritual uplift of hope and the prospect of being in love with a higher self. I think that place could have been in Rome but now it’s full of hypocrites denouncing immoral relationships.
The only other place I could “use a hug” is right here – at home and in front of the mirror. I see that I alone could only hug myself and love me for who “I AM”. “AM I” shortchanging myself? Not really. Confidence would win someday and that’s “beyond me”.
The main issue I have is dealing with jealousy and being possessive. Once I have my heart set on something, it’s hard to let go and that nothing easy to do overnight or anytime of the day.
And these ill feelings, though solely created in my mind, have prevented me from exploring the full potential of meeting others who simply like to hug. The opportunity to find one such hug has eluded me and one day I’d like to spend that much time in an embrace.
So when I see couples hugging, I should be happy them that they are comfortable in each others’ embrace. I don’t know if they are in love but if they can get close to each other that must mean they have some feelings for each other.
Besides my slow ability to overcome these obstacles, there is still the nagging doubt that I’m not good enough from clothes to speech. Never could I find the right things to wear on the right occasions and my conversation lacks anything interesting. Timing is always off. Decisions are failures.
So while I stand on a hill and overlook others living their own lives, I wonder how it would have been to be in their shoes, on the other side of the fence, and for the other one that got away. It’s truly a lonely feeling.
But being alone has its benefits. No longer do I have to worry about responsibilities other than myself. That sounds selfish but that’s all I could take without undergoing too much stress. Can you imagine me being stressed out? It’s not a pretty sight.
I’d get loud and irritated. And if things don’t go my way, I’d get upset. And if that happens everyday, that’s not a healthy lifestyle. Sure, others have long believed that being in a relationship (married, for example) is the “norm” but I’ve heard so many horror stories to the contrary and that has scared me quite a bit and away from forming long and lasting relationships.
By being my own friend, I won’t have to worry about keeping up appearances among friends who only hang out for awhile and then leave to do their own things. No. I don’t like that feeling of abandonment and really cannot imaging dealing with the loss of a loved one either.
Just losing a pet parakeet or seeing one suffer so much pain brings me sorrow. It’s almost like I cannot help myself anyway when there is not much further help that could be done to alleviate their suffering. It’s the feeling also of being helpless. And two helpless people is futile.
And that’s why hugs provide comfort. I see that it helps those in times of grief, too. Somehow, I guess that is what life is all about – living fully and lovingly but with the knowing that death becomes us. Without this human emotion of empathy, people without a shred of kindness or compassion would ruin the world.
There is no way to control those whose moral and ethics code have been debased spiritually. Besides hugs as a means to open a whole new world of possibilities to those who have lost their way along the path of righteousness, reminding of what goodness the person has done and said in the past could be a breakthrough.
And what a better way than to send the message of how loving people are when offering a hug once in a while and as a surprise maybe a kiss for good measure. I don’t know any other way to show how much a person means than by hugging.
The last time I hugged anyone was during times of appreciation for good works and good cheers. There was only one other time that a hug was NOT possible. It was between the twit and me.
The five of us have enjoyed an expensive luncheon of over $100 at the Macaroni Grill on the first day of singing with the choir last month. (It was really a waste of money because fries was $3 and my cheese-filled pasta was bland.)
The other four members of this group hugged each other. But the twit held herself in check and I just couldn’t bring myself to hug her. My nemesis (through her own fault and the boy’s) was before me and peace with a hug could NOT have been made that day.
What should have been good day, a weather of crispy, clear blue skies, with good company quickly vanished with the realization that hugs are only reserved to those who deserve love.
That moment was my own reflection – the fear of being challenged. It was a stalemate as she and I stood our ground. Only a feigned smile and weak hand shake left both of us unsure of the direction of this relationship.
Maybe one day we will be sincere with our friendship.
Posted from WordPress for Android
Leave a Reply