Last night, I’ve updated my ‘About me‘ page, which could be found within the top nagivation bar of my blogsite. I’ve modeled this page after a couple of personal sites and one dating service. I’ve added some more personal tidbits into that page that may be of interest to some willing ’employer’.
Below is a humorous version of a ‘personal ad’ combined with the look of an ’employment resume’. The purpose of this particular blog is to entertain the eyeballs of the public. And for those who want ‘to know’ me better, reading my blogs is a great start.
FürRinDah SeaAirRah VehReeRohSoh
Mailing Address: Unlisted
SAN JOSE, CA 12345-6789
Telephone: Unlisted
Summary:
Have over forty years in living and food ‘processing’. Thanking the American dream for its politically correct, ‘ach’, globalization on mutually assured, power plans for unified accountability from the knowledge and wisdom of a sage or oracle via my simple offer of spiritual Access, financially Excel, positive Outlook and honest Words.
Objective:
FUNNY FRIEND (39 years 7 months experience)
BUSINESS ASSOCIATE (8 years 0 months experience)
GENERAL WIFE (0 years 0 months experience)
MOTHER UNIT (0 years 0 months experience)
Experience:
Senior Blogging Specialist (02/06 to present)
Continues prior blogging functions about petty peeves and wealthy distributions. Prepares daily journal entries using a word document with its spelling and grammar proofing tool. Checks worldview programming, adjusts behaviors and attitudes and influences various believers and skeptics as needed.
Accountability Reporting Specialist (07/00 to present)
Performs background checks, reads news related articles, archives documentations for auditing purposes. Enters banking items into a spreadsheet for personal account analysis. Administrates monthly credit card debt and frustrated in month end charges. Assists in periodic cash flow projects. Maintains professionalism, complete confidentiality and lifetime trust.
Beta Sentry Clerk/Onward Operator (05/05 to present)
Enters alternate state into dream worlds and etheric contracts and serves as goodwill to quality assurance committee (QAC, or the sounds made by ducks). Handles fast paced and multi-lined, telepathic system and front line defense. Supports e-mails, greets chatters and cherishes gifts from friend.
Additional Experience:
House Guest (12/68 to present)
Performs daily chores of cooking and cleaning and caring for an elderly couple and six parakeets. Occasionally acts as counselor and wet blanket in times of need. Serves as chauffer, masseur and gardener.
Skills:
Plays (site reading) the piano and some guitar. Sings to self at home somewhat softly and with others during mass rather loudly. Able to support in boosting and blasting independently or with others.
Accomplishments:
Organized paper filing system and arranged furnitures according to some Feng Shui. Oversaw removal of junk and donations of old clothing. Succeeded in weeding out the good from the bad and ugly (the hard way).
Rewards:
Received a trophy topped off with an angel holding a crown over her head with the engraving below reading: ‘TO LYN WITH LOVE FROM DADDY AND MOMMY 10 MAR 1978′. The only other trophy was 2nd Place in 1986 from FBLA in Stenography I (Bay Section), meh! Of course, the greatest reward would be finding true love.
Education:
Life’s experiences – books, articles and people.
SJSU (San Jose, CA) – Bachelor’s with minor.
Additional Comments:
Enjoys challenging opportunities and multi-tasks exceptionally well. Serves as an effective team asset and performs equally well independently. Possesses ability to learn new applications easily and to meet deadlines quickly. Detail oriented with highly efficient organizational skills. Values conservative upbringing and traditional family values. Born with white-knucking patience and teeth-grinding understanding. Seeks loving guy with some looks and talent. Wealth not important.
Copyright © 2008 by Fluffy von der Flynn. All rights reserved.
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