Our high school reunion after so many years is for Sat. 09-29-2007 in downtown San Jose, CA. Am I going to attend this function? Hell freakin’ no way! Why? I’m have been and still am too shy and insecure to possibly mingle with more successful people, who could dress up in their evening, cock-tail (which does have a funny feel to the word) or lounge outfits of black usually. I have not done ‘evening’ like that before in my life. I would be sorely uncomfortable.
Although meeting single folks like me at this reunion has crossed my mind, the second thought of another quiet evening with strangers from the past would be my bane. As I browsed the website, which was poorly maintained by a Filipino guy (married obviously), I felt sick looking at those pictures I’d find pasted permanently in a high school book — collecting dust somewhere in our bookshelf at home. The photos were rather cheesy and I expect fatter people, too.
My sentiments then were dull and boring as I kept to myself most of the time and in the hopes of leaving that prison of academia as far away as possible. I never went to my high school prom for lack of courage and fashion sense. I did participate in some sporting events and honors activities but could not fully fit into any of their idealized boxes of success. I’ve not made contact with any of those losers either (oops, my bad)!
Unfortunately, here I am still stuck in the Bay Area and accomplished nothing. I am still broke and broken-hearted by TPTB. I would be thirty-nine (39) this coming December and felt like I’ve never graduated to a grown up of my peers in the least bit. I still look like eighteen years old. Well, some people say in the mid-twenties, which is flattering nonetheless. But the point is, I have not changed much in my perspective of life – a mere flat-lining existence.
Copyright © 2007 by Fluffy von der Flynn. All rights reserved.
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