After only one day since the invitation from ‘MessiahMews’ to join, I couldn’t take it anymore and deleted my online account for meeting people. All I got was five views of my profile in 24 hours and two e-mails to view two photos of older men. The first photo was a dark-skinned South Asian Indian from yesterday. The second photo showed a topless white man from today. I should have saved those photos but was too disgusted. I cried.
I had it with dating, period. You don’t know what it is like ‘dating’ older men. They are either already involved with other people or on the verge of getting divorced with their wives. All they do is take advantage of me. I know. I met that Pete and pals who have been holding me hostage for the last eight years. And this is all because I am foolish, stupid and ignorant to believe he is my friend. There is nothing in this world that will fix whatever happened in the past. There is no going forward either. I tried.
I created that online profile and added all the juicy material that I thought would have been open and honest. I don’t trust anyone, period. It’s that cut and dry. Either you need to be sincere about have a serious relationship with me or you are out of my life forever. Betray me once, I could forgive. But betray twice, I could never go back. I’m having none of that crap. I thought I wanted to start all over again. I know now that I’m not interested in meeting other people. I lied.
Below is the sample profile:
FLYNN Says…
1. Dating: I want to meet someone special, probably someone older and taller than me. He could cook for I am good eater but not picky. If he knows how to sing and dance, that’s a plus. If he converses about anything, I’m all ears. Don’t expect me to talk because I’m too shy and quiet. Regurgitating intelligent words and stringing those words into long, coherent sentences is hard enough. 2. Friends: I don’t have any friends. So whoever wants to hang out with me is fine. I choose my friends and those that have the staying power to know I exist are fine by me, too. I don’t like friends that impress. I can smell insecurity up front. 3. Serious Relationship: I figured it’s time to find someone to grow old together. I see myself watching a nice sunset together in a couple of rocking chairs. 4. Networking: I already know how this area works. This means the buddy system helps each other in times of need, whether it is to head-hunt for jobs or support to get back on their feet
Music
Listening to music can be from ‘Classical to hard rock’; from ‘Easy listening to smooth jazz’; and from ‘Oldies to rave’. I was originally trained with classical music and learned rock music was better. Depending on the mood, I could listen to calmer music. But mostly loud music hurts my ears and I generally avoid those places where lots of people dance too close together and get drunk. I do dance well. Line dancing is an ice breaker for us single folks. It’s easy too. And if given a chance I would impress the crowd with my good singing voice via a karaoke machine. This means singing to instrumental music can be best achieved with some lyrics and basic melody. Popular music on the radio makes my day.
Movies
Going out to the movies is expensive and would do so occasionally with other people and probably initially during dates. Renting videos is also expensive and I learned to avoid getting charged ‘late fees’ by watching the clerk enter my returns in person. Cable programming would be a better alternative and is convenient at home. Access to food, water and the toilet is always available. Any slap stick comedy would really make me laugh out loud and pop a few veins in my brain. Horror flicks or violence are not necessary. I’m actually afraid of the dark cannot sleep without my night light turned on. Action and adventure is always fun and gets me excited. Science fiction and fantasy can include cartoon animated shows.
FLYNN’s URL
High School
IHS ’87
College
SJSU ’93
My Best Features
I don’t know if I have any ‘best features’. None of my facial features stand out as attractive. But I feel I pass as pretty enough, right. My body is average without too much fat bulging out and my health is good. I keep in shape 30 minutes a day by exercising to a pirated tape of Filipinos singing a medley to Neil Sedaka, Paul Anka, ABBA, and the Carpenters. All I need are a good pair of hiking shoes to get anywhere. Running hurts my knees. In private, I am humorous. In public, I’m patient. To most people, I appear aloof and approachable. But inside, I fear their closeness, which is fine by me and less drama in life I’d have to deal with from others. Overall, I make a good dog who won’t mind running errands, acting as a chauffer and pseudo-masseur.
What I’m Into
Blogging and ranting is what all I do well. Prior to my recent discovery of my ability to write well, I was pretty much keeping to myself and not talking much. Now I am empowered to share whatever I experience with ease. I tried photography but grew tired of that. Then I retire myself from playing the piano and guitar. Singing is done mostly during daily mass at my local church. So I’m basically reading online articles about politics, religion and other conspiracy related interests. I’m into the spiritual aspect of human conditions and nature and how the world exists with the good, bad and ugly. I’m always seeking answers to many questions from many teachers, near and far.
My Dreams
I dream of traveling the world and meeting people. Then again I’m a home girl at best and prefer the comfort of my foam mattress at home anytime. It’s my back that needs the most support. I dream of getting married but prefer living-in to find out how a relationship is headed. I dream about raising at least one of my own but fear about being too old.
My Day
All I do is sit around the whole day while enjoying the beautiful day of clear blue skies and cool breeze and listening to the parakeet birds chit chat all day. I eat and sometimes nap. Depending on my mood, I’d go shopping but lack fashion sense, keeping to practical and inexpensive items. Walking outdoors is nice as well as long driving to anywhere.
My Night
I sleep soundly and snore loudly. So if anyone is a light sleeper and is bothered by noise, be prepared for your own accommodations. I do dream in colors and keep a journal of the ones that I remember well. My beauty rest of at least seven hours should be sufficient, by the way.
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