20230914-1957. Unfortunately, due to my anxiety and stress, I am a motor mouth and don’t know when to shut the fuck up. Yesterday, I raised my voice at someone over the phone to which I offered my apologies today.
His audio calls are limited to a few minutes due to his busy schedule and live shows. And receiving such calls are “proof” that he still thinks about me, I guess. I dunno know. Maybe.
Do I love him? Yup. Do others love him? Yup. Am I jealous? Nope. I have others that I love over the years but have NOT met in-person; and I must continue to minister to them to the VERY end, I guess. I dunno know. Maybe.
I noticed that when a person like me is too honest and rats out inadvertently on others – my words are taken outta context and misconstrued as facts when the listeners themselves are also gossipers. In this context, it’s best to say as little to nothing as much as possible.
That way, anyone who fishes for information from a targeted individual or is perceived as a threat – like me for example, she cannot and should NOT sabotage one’s reputation or assassinate one’s character, like the coo-coo NextDoor neighbor who got slapped with two restraining orders, because she couldn’t control her sub-delusion of jealousy. Get it?
But like I said, I mind my own business, sit alone in front of this computer, and do NOT talk much over audio calls due to my English is NOT good. My preferred mode of communication is through blogging, by the way. And I don’t follow anyone’s advice anyways.
Oh, John Jr! That’s longer than I would ever imagine, especially for your conditions! So I shouldn’t rant like this…