The sound of silence was in the air today at work. Both temps were quiet and well behaved and I do not miss their noise. The other noise came from co-workers who greeted me briefly. I felt stuffy from the warm air inside building while wearing my long sleeve and was not at all willing to participate in their noise. I hate noise because that means I have to stay awake and actually work hard all day. I don’t like to work, which explains my indifference towards this ‘team work’ attitude.
As a loner and boring person, there is nothing more annoying than people working close together towards a common goal. This serves the selfish behavior to earn more money via the profit or revenue for the company. The logic is that as a whole we all benefit from a company that does well. If that were true, I should not be sitting down the whole day and work the normal eight hour shift with less pay. There should not have to be more people than necessary to accomplish what one person could do alone.
I should be working at home with more pay and less hours. I should not answer phones, emails or replay to help desk tickets. The work should literally pay for itself. This is my ideal work and perhaps I see myself as an entrepreneur. I should live up to that capitalistic expectation and earn my bogus bucks that way from the comfort of my home. The obstacle happens to be the lack of resources to make this dream of mine happen.
My dreams could be self fulfilling. I could buy all the luxury goods to show off to family or friends. I perhaps could donate my time and energy towards charity work and find peace with those in the most need. I’d readily dismiss any religious or spiritual endeavors or ministries because I’ve had enough confusion in this lifetime already. There are, of course, the vacations I could take to nowhere and everywhere and meet people this way.
Going on long vacations is what I’d like to do more frequently. Mini-vacations usually leave me exhausted than relaxed. The longer ones allow my system adjust to the air, food, water and into the overall ambiance of the places. If I stayed long enough, I could learn to speak foreign languages. Unfortunately, the comfort of my bed is more important than living a dream. I believe this is what is referred to as sleeping people.
People who sleep too much don’t seem to want to wake up and are at best lazy. They dream mostly in their sleep and for them that is as good as a vacation. Some might as well have a television in their bedroom and tune into adventures as a form of mental vacation. The physical part could be done with someone special and in bed. And that is almost as good as taking off into oblivion without ever leaving the bedroom, a virtual box.
Another box involved today’s chat online at work. This brought two strangers together in the mental sphere of amusement. I knew that the chatter was only interested in relieving himself by finding a date he could never find in the normal way. I knew I wanted nothing more than to helpt me use time at work to know this person online as a safer version of dating. Once again, the process of elimination for potential dating material is easy because I could tell if the person is sincere in their friendship.
The second box was tonight’s visit at ‘Squirrel-Ling’s’ house. This brought us siblings together with the united effort of hugs. I said very little and was not excited. Initially, he argued his ground of being too tired from hiking almost five hours to answer the door for a couple of minutes to greet me one weekend and as an uninvited guest. His attitude has been selfish and his learning to behave properly has not improved by much. We left knowing our delivery of his dinner into his house was his cunning guise so we could see his new bedroom and dining set.
Both events were temporary and left a behind some bitterness in my efforts to connect with selfish people. People, like the temps, make noise to be heard and seen. People, like me, share themselves to be liked and admired. People, like the chatter and ‘Squirrel-Ling,’ continue to believe they are right no matter how annoying their behaviors or unrelenting their prides.
Overall, everyone loves to be loved in return. And this is all we need without wanting to ask. For those who do ask to be acknowledged and loved, one needs to look within as the first step.
Copyright © 2007 by Fluffy von der Flynn. All rights reserved.
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