I have good news and bad news. Good news is I am still me. Bad news is I am confused.
Am I really free to choose my own path in this lifetime? Or has everything in my life been planned out from the beginning? I am stuck the middle once again and do not know how to begin!
First, I believe that everyone has been given the ability to choose which path to take in any one lifetime. I think this is called free-will. Second, I believe that everyone has been placed in a perfect position to learn from each other. I think this is called pre-destination. Which one is correct?
I cannot believe one or the other and may believe that both concepts co-exist. There is this strange balance that is very hard for me to achieve. And I’ve been tested so many times that I think my brain could explode!
I have tried to find solutions by thinking with my head and by feeling with my heart. Yet, neither method could come to any clear conclusion. I think I do not fully understand my purpose and I feel my small voice is not heard as a result.
‘What am I to do next?’ I ask myself. I stand at another cross road and may consider doing nothing once again and letting the events all around me fall into their nice places. There are too many weird things happening recently and I cannot find my own answers.
Today there have been two cries for help. One was by Brat and the other one was by Maw I wish to be there for both of them. I tried to help both and failed each time in their eyes. Or have I failed but myself?
This morning my bio-units and I helped to clean the new house and garden of Brat. We worked together fine for four hours straight from 11:00AM to 03:00PM. The disappointment was that Brat denied ever requesting our help when Paw spoke with him over the phone. No wonder Twit was surprised to see us three over at her house.
This evening my bio-units realized that children are meant to be set free. We four have lived together fine for over three decade. The disappointment was that Maw realized providing help to her children is no longer needed. No wonder both Brat and I are not too happy living this long at this house.
Both events that have crossed my path today indicated that help was clearly needed. Based on my inner guidance, I would conclude that the only solution to both events is to help whenever requested and with unconditional love. This ideal would have a happy ending.
However, when the request for help is unwanted, the choice is clear. There is no need to provide further help to people who do no seek or ask due to the fact that the appreciation won’t always be reciprocated to the giver of kindness, compassion or understanding.
The main conflict of interests is between the Self and the outside world. Each person is allowed the opportunity to choose between being nice or mean or between generous and selfish. The results are then weighed in the end.
My conclusion for the meantime may be this: There is no perfect solution. I hate that neutral answer but this is the best that I could offer. And as each event presents itself to any one person, there is only hope that peace prevails no matter what happens to me or anyone else.
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Sunday April 23, 2006 – 11:55pm (PDT) Edit | Delete | Permanent Link | 0 Comments
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