Dear diary,
I feel better now. After cooking raw fish (for Friday tomorrow) already marinated in sesame oil, tonight’s incoming word was ‘placebo’ or anything to that effect, such as thoughts, prayers, and other home remedies, such as liver cleanse. So I thank y’all – meaning to two cat lovers; for my personal blog is still in the private mode.
Nah, before that – I was thinking of JC after viewing this morning’s inspirational photo of clouds in the skis. I was trying to force happy thoughts despite feeling sleepy during work.
I guess the numbing stuff (three shots) into my gums on Monday is still inside my system. And so that stuff helps to relax my jaws and everything else. I’ve been sleeping longer and better, too.
Oh, and that greenish booger for the past few years and last week for a couple of days have seem to all but disappear, including that painful or sensitive left sinus with congestion. That creepy crawling feeling over my left cheek and left nostril bone over the weekend might have been due to that tooth fracture and infection! After my daily morning routine of saline nasal wash, there are little to no greenish boogers!
Work has been ‘normal’ as I struggle to stay happy and awake. For the past few days the cross-trainer girl has been letting the Field Offices know that I’m handle a certain task while she is handling her new promoted job. So I could assume that I’ve gotten the job. My three month’s probation would be June 4th.
And so hopefully I’ll be able to work full-time at a job that I love doing. But I have to remain calm and relaxed, especially keep my mouthing mumblings under control. Because I’m bored, don’t care, and really don’t have to work.
But that’s the only way to earn extra money for emergency stuff, such as my failed tooth. Plus, I cannot depend on my daddy in the long-run. I need security because I fail to ask for help like carpooling, and have not really been good about taking care of myself.
Which brings me to stress and other stuff. I feel more relaxed and less stressed out when I don’t participate in those two singing gigs. I really do NOT benefit from charity or volunteer work. I’m wasting my time. And I am tired after work to participate. These are for those who are committed (to an asylum of similar traits), retired, and basically bored doing nothing.
I told my daddy that I am like him. We don’t socialize much and are NOT personable people humanz. He said that he would stop going to choir when I stop. He doesn’t do anything else but stay home, exercise, vacuum the parakeet seeds, and garden outdoors. He refuses to drive himself anywhere. So I have to be his ‘vehicle’ to go outside.
I’m trapped! But I don’t have to be. I wanna be a loner and meditate and bemuse myself with selfish stuff, such as chowing down post-dinner snacks. A growing kid like me needs nourishment. But I’ve stayed home for too long. Whatever, rant is completed.
Sincerely,
Flynn B the recovering rantcoholic.
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