Dear diary,
I have to keep my blog private for awhile because no one is reading my blog. And rightfully so it because I’m too busy and can’t keep up with the FAKE NEWS.
Speaking of news, I received an email from them but I no longer have it. And so to add to today’s elevated blood pressure reading, I’m trying to reply to an email. But I’m so tired and I no longer care what happens. I’ve given up hope and dreams.
I posted one blog and I am not sure if that one view was immediately tallied after publishing or if either of the twosome viewed it. This would be my second blog in private mode.
I already knew and sensed that the professional trolls were viewing my stuff because after I place my blog in private mode several times over the past few days, I received a scary email this morning.
Lots of hits were coming from India, UK, Canada, and Australia. Once again I have no way of knowing who is viewing my diary, which is really an online rant and a form of coping with stress for over two decades.
If I’m successful with my endeavors, I wouldn’t make such as big deal. I’m learning the hard way that justice and fairness is really based on one’s opinion and hurt feelings.
So if you professional trolls are viewing my private blog from the back end, I have no way of knowing. I can’t blog like I used to because it’s a hopeless agenda, cause, or movement.
One year ago, I’ve gotten hurt feelings and had concerns of a nuance living directly adjacent or adjoining to us, that I reported two incidences. But because I’m a Christian I cannot bring myself to be uncivil, and since the stuff is gone, I’ve wasted my time and theirs.
I hoping that my rattled nerves from the past two decades would heal. But it’s never gonna be the same-ever. I am NOT fearless. I’m forcing myself not to withdraw from people and socializing. Like my daddy, Dad Squirrel, I’m devastated. We forcing ourselves who live. We missed her terribly.
Anyway, I’ve been having insomnia and barely had enough sleep for this morning and I came home late tonight after other commitments. My right eye would well up with tears though there is no emotions behind it.
I need to push forward. By the way, I’ve unfollowed y’all because I couldn’t stand the memory of the past job from over a decade ago. whereby I was forced to quit my job so they wouldn’t bother me.
There was a group that bothered me many times before I met y’all. And I could NOT sustain that stuff. Likewise I could NOT sustain your stuff and now y’all have caused me to think about what I can and cannot do.
And now I have to deal with my nerves and high blood pressure bothering me. I’ve received a Charlie Horse on my left rib cage and probably from the night air gig and dehydration. But I’m good.
Sincerely,
Flynn B.
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