The only time I’ve ever been on fire was when I had my hemorrhoids! That’s right! The tissues came out and the over-the-counter creams didn’t help alleviate the symptoms of fire burning! The digestive enzymes I took was too strong for my innards, which of course retaliated and therefore after a bout of several gaseous farting episodes did they come out of hiding one day! The nights were unbearable. Sitting was excruciating.
And the primary doctor offered to tie it off with the rubber band so as to CHOKE OFF the precious blood supply to the VERY sensitive rectal area and allow the dead tissues to fall off on their own. That ideas wasn’t too likely to have occurred. For one night, I decided to stick one bold finger up my behind and force the TENDER inflammation back indoors — VERY slowly. And with brute force, the sphincter muscles were tightened to keep them from rolling back outdoors.
Alas, the self-help technique removed the burning sensation. Later on, a benevolent suggested to wash my butt hole with the HOTTEST water tolerable. WARMER water tends to shrink the hemorrhoid, not the cold water. With a new habit in place, a pitcher of HOT water is used to clean the behind (much like a bidet). The result is proof on a much CLEANER toilet paper. Try it. It works better than wiping dry skin.
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Topic #83: What’s the most on fire you’ve ever been? Figuratively, literally, whatever.
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