The boy came over and thus told another joke from work.
A guy walks into work with a subtle design on the front of his shirt.
AFFLICTION
Of course the boy can make a joke for just about anything.
Since the Filipino alphabet uses the letter “P” in place of the letter “F”, the word AFFLICTION looked like the word APPLICATION.
In his closest thick Filipino accent, the boy asks the co-worker: “What’s “APPLIC(A)TION”? Get it?
I give up! I must be the one not getting it! People just smiile and walk by as if they know lots of stuff. Since my hearing is bad enough, I don’t really or fully understand what I should know or what to think. So I should dress up as a clown and make people laugh.
Ah! There’s nothing like being friendly to friendly people. I arrived late to work this morning past 9:00am and greeted little Theresa, who was kind enough to swipe her badge and let me into the front building.
I told her that I had to attend this morning’s mass to receive my daily Eucharist through the mouth and ash on my forehead, which was really near my hairline and not over my third eye chakra, thank goodness.
As we walked into the lobby of tall glass walls and echos, I couldn’t hear what she was trying to tell me. She might have said to me: “Maybe if I touch you, I’d be holy.” She smiled and I looked down on her and patted her on her head like a little sister.
After presenting our badges to the guard and rounding the corner to the stairways, she mentioned that her boss is also Catholic but not the kind of people that attends daily or weekly masses, only the special days, like Good Friday, Easter, etc. That’s why I noticed more “white” folks this morning. They just seem to come out of the “woodworks”, being neighbors and all.
Anyway, I swiped my badge to gain entry through the SLAMMING back door to let in little Theresa. Being that I’m slightly tone deaf, she might have said to me something along the line of “behind” or “butt”. I think little Theresa may be gay, even though she has three daughters with light brown, tanned skined look due to a loving husband who looks like a mixed white, Vietamese.
During our walk the other day outdoors in the freezing cold, she mentioned a gay-coworker who still works in the billing department on the twelfth floor. She then told me it would be nice if the three of us could have lunch together. I don’t know the person or how she looks like. I responded: “Yuch.”
I know that I can be a mean and nasty person to the point of being discriminatory of people and their cooties. And I do wonder now why she keeps mentioning to me how she would “burn in hell”. I’d have to ask her one day if she has done or thought of anything illegal or immoral, respectively, considering we belong to a religion that heavily frowns upon pedophiles and gays.
“Coughy! Coughy!” the dummy.
“Achoo! Achoo!” the baldy.
“Burrrp!” The snotty.
For those agnostics and atheist who are incapable of offering a “gesundheit” or “God bless you”, then may I suggest an alternate health recovery statement: “Shut up!”
Paw was telling his joke. This time it was about post-war cinemas that he used to watch long ago. In one movie, the plot was about WWII. The funny thing about some Filipino movies of old was the tendancy to show off. Actors would use Rolex watches and fire “ArmaLite” while in combat. The two items were historically incorrect!
Filiipinos back then are impoverished and didn’t have expensive watches to wear and “Carbelite” was the weaponry used at that time. They played Japanese parts, too. And because of their thick Filipino accents, there was no doubt that the actors were not Japanese. I’m sure there would have been much offense at the outrageousness in antiquated Filipino movies.
After dinner tonight, Maw decided to call Manang Inday. For all I know, the old fart was making lots of humorous jokes to Maw, who got tummy spasms from laughing out loud and too much.
Joke One:
There was a prince residing in Dubai. He needed a blood transfusion because of his failing kidney. There was no match until a nice nurse from Ilocos Norte gave him some of her blood for tranfusions periodically. She did this for awhile until one of her friends inquired if he ever sent her any thanks or gratitude for her kindness. She relied, “No. I’m too ashamed to ask him.”
But one day, the kindly young nurse had decided to visit the ailing prince and wanted to know if he would ever do something in return for her blood. Of course, he replied: “You see, I am next in line and heir to the throne. With all the wealth that I could hope to gain, I cannot reciprocate because your blood in running inside.”
Hint: The joke is more cultural in which Ilocos are noted to be quite “thrifty” to say the least.
Joke Two:
There was a tour bus with lots of people. The bus approached a rest area and a couple of guys needed to use the toilet. After a few minutes, everyone was rested enough to board the tour bus and take off to site see the rest of the place. However, the two guys were missing. Out of curiosity, the tour guide (and bus driver) decided to find out what is taking these two so long. What he found was that the two fools were cleaning the bathroom!
“Why are both of you cleaning the bathroom? It’s time to go, now!” exclaimed the befuddled tour guide/bus driver.
“No, sir.” Said one guy. “We have to clean the bathroom. Can’t you read the sign? It says: “CLEAN BATHROOM”.
Joke Three:
Imelda Marcos wanted her husband to win presidency. So she went to Quiapo to pray to the Lord.
“Lord! Please hear my prayers. Let my husband win the presidency; so I can buy lots of shoes and go abroad.” Imelda prayed in earnest sincerity.
Then Jesus appeared to Imelda saying: “You should be lucky woman that I’m nailed to the cross. I would get down from here and slap you for being so selfish!”
—
The phone conversation between the two old farts ended at around 8:00pm tonight.
Addendum- Last edited by FLYNN on 20110222 at 04:54:24 AM UTC:
Joke Four:
Ferdinand Marcos died and went to heaven. But before he went through the pearly gates, he met St. Peter.
St. Peter asked the Iloco: “What do the letters IRNI mean and why did you place that placard over your gravestone?”
Ferdinand replied: “IRNI stands for Ilocos Regional North One. And that’s so people know where I came from!”
—
I suppose the caller is Ilocos.
Sometime last month, the boy came over and told a couple of jokes.
First old joke:
A staff needed her computer repaired. She had it in the back of her trunk. The boy was approached by her.
“My computer doesn’t work. Can you help me get it out of the trunk?” She asked.
“Sure! No problem! I have it right here!” As he looked up at her and smiled, obviously humoring himself at her confusion.
With wide eyes, she stared at the boy: “How did you do that?”
Of course, to allay her fears: “Nah! I’m just joking! It’s still in your trunk!”
Second, old joke:
An older co-worker likes to dress up in fancy clothes. His favorite designer brand happens to be “GAP”.
One day, the old fart wore a shirt with the word “GAP” printed on the front.
“I love wearing GAP clothing!” He proclaimed to his co-workers.
Of course, the boy knew how to clown haughty fools with too much ego.
“Did you know that “GAP” spelled backwards is “PAG”? He smirked.
“What do you mean “PAG”? You are NOT making sense.” The old fool was not sure at this point.
“In the Filipino language, there is no letter “F” but in its place is the letter “P”. So by default, you are a “FAG for wearing “GAP”! Get it?
The boy was laughing out loud.
Welcome to the Flynn’s “What To Think!” Two contestants are here to show the audience “what to think” on any given topic. Topics ranging from conspiracy to the paranormal to world government and leaders. That’s right! It’s the audience who will ask the questions and the contestants get to answers these questions as the timer runs out. Each contestant is give five seconds to respond to the topic in three words or less. That’s right! It’s a three word game! The average of the score is counted based on the number of closely matching answers and tallied at the end of each round. There will be five rounds. The winner will take home a grand total of $10,000. Runner-up are giving a consolation prize — a free ticket home and a board game feature Flynn, your host. Bahahaha!
Topic 30: What’s going on in your life right now that’s driving you nuts?
Stupid, ill-mannered, nasty people pisses me off. This “temp job from hell” pisses me off because of the “diversity” of cultures. Most don’t “act” or “behave” like Americans (or look cute like cowboys/gringos).
Instead these “foreigners” believe in the free-will to exercise their tradition — coughing, spewing, talking loud, being nasty — all of which are NOISE pollution. Perhaps, Obama and pals could outlaw unhealthy and stupid people from society.
Am I rough around the edges in my wild thoughts? You bet! Not a day goes by when I pray these “evil entities” get thrown into the “Lake of Fire”. And maybe Creation will figure out a way to turn these “dark forces” into a nice urn atop of “God’s” shelf of trinkets and such.
To God and pals: Damn you all! My mind was wandering again during this lunch’s walk. I kept wondering to myself: “I’m getting the “bad” and “ugly” guys!”
One has a bad eye and smokes “California Gold”. One was too intelligent and a former make-up artist. One has child/ren and is an illegal ALIEN. One has an alcoholic problem and is on disability. One has an overbite, talks too much and is jobless. One is a nefarious business man and government agent. One has children, is divorced and a womanizer. One smokes, has children and is homeless. And the list goes on.
Gee! You’d think for once that I could meet a normal guy — the one without bad manners, bad odors, bad breaths, bad habits? No wonder I’ve not cared for establishing a long-term relationship with a suitor. They are either gay or taken! Seriously, the cute ones are more feminine and emotional.
Oh! I love to smell my poo-poo!
It’s Y-U-C-K-Y!
Oh! I love to smell my poo-poo!
It’s Y-U-C-K-Y!
Oh! I love to smell everyday.
And if you ask me, why I’ll say:
It’s something I that love to do:-
It’s P-O-O-P-I-N-G.
(Sorry! The jingle is from an American televised commercial on a popular meat food product. Maw had talked about the toilet downstairs not flushing properly. Her poop went down fine but the water almost overflowed, which it didn’t. Thank goodness!)
“Don’t do it! She’s got two kids!”
~A cardboard sign held up by an old black guy in a lavender suit.
—
For the first time ever, Maw and I were watching only the VERY last few minutes of “Madea’s Family Reunion” (2006) on BET (Black Entertainment Television). While the beautiful black couple were exchanging vows, Maw would keep saying:
“But I have two kids!”
I was screaming:
“Don’t ruin the fantasy!”
Of course, there was no way to spoil a happy ending.