Flynn's Paws: My Thoughts, My Gripes

Tag: humor

  • Damn Devils

    Question: What do you call a relationship between an Asian and a white?
    Answer: Sayang! Pronounced: “Sigh! Young!” Filipino translation: “What a [damn] waste!”
    —
    Bahahaha! No seriously. While Asians tend to stick to their tradition, the Whites tend stick to their guns! I’ve been reading a dedicated blogger’s articles about the same theme: live your own damn life and quite imposing on the other party. He sounds like someone who had too many “parasites” from past and current relationships.

    Anyway, the Asians, in particular the Chinese (and their Buddist philosophy of not “forcing” or “confronting” anyone or any issue) are good at imposing INDIRECTLY. What they do is let the other party do whatever they want. And then when the clueless party had their fill, the other side who had enough comes in for the kill!

    That’s right! Instead of using weapons, like guns, Asians get what they want by “doing unto others” in a non-violent matter — through the mind.

    For example, if the girl wants to visit her family every friggin’ weekend, she’ll let the boy off by not “imposing” her will of letting him come along. Why should he see them? They are nasty nut-balls and continue to speak their language after numerous times of reminding them he doesn’t understand!

    BUT, in retaliation and to “get even”, she won’t go visit the boy’s family. Now, do you understand how coughing really means “f^ck you” without verbally saying it? You don’t need to take inter-cultural classes to learn how these sort of people operate.

  • Devil’s Smell

    “Can you smell it?”

    ~The Rock (wrestler Dwayne Johnson)

    The air in the lobby of our local parish smelled of sewer. We had attended the 10:45am mass. The air inside the church blew the smell around but some of the sulfuric smell lingered well into the middle of the place.

    The air in Maw’s bedroom smelled of old fart. I had finished saying the rosary with the twosome. The fan inside her room blew the smell around but some of the sulfuric smell lingered and my fan from outside the bedroom didn’t help.

    I hope one of Shrimpsei’s blue-colored, top-off, pyramid orgone piece works to clean the horrible smell in her room.

  • Anthropomorphic Women

    En route to the restrooms, I saw a older-looking, barrel-shaped, white woman with golden highlights in her hair strutting haughtily on her high heels. I wondered to myself how could her little feet proudly carry such weight and how could her back hold those big racks? As I blog, I see a chocolate, Eskimo ice cream bar on a wooden stick.

    Of course, I wiggled my big butt like a model and laughed to myself and covered my mouth with both hands as two images of animals came to mind: a pig and a chimpanzee. Of course, I saw them wearing red lipsticks and high heels, too. It’s funny to see humans try to look beautiful by `dressing up`.

  • Gained Weight

    Well, my weight went back up into the next ten pound bracket. It’s because I haven’t pooped. That adds weight, you know. Plus, I’ve been eating too much dinner again. The weighing scale lies! It’s my nemesis and so is my fat.

  • 20100823-Weathery Ways

    Today was friggin’ hot! The strong winds blew hot air while I was walking for about an hour during lunchtime. The hot air warmed me during this morning and afternoon breaks because the air conditioner indoors was too cold!

    Tonight is friggin’ warm! Maw said I smelled of sweat! Why is it that one cannot smell its own body odor? The parakeets have their cage covers on but only on the top. The three of us are watching Miss Universe. They are all beautiful but I keep thinking to myself: They still have to poop.

  • Heavy Word

    There’s something dense about the word `blog`. It rhymes with the words, clog, bog, dog, fog, log, hog, jog, nog, etc. It almost sounds like a Klingon or caveman name: “Hey! Blog! Come over here!”

    So while Flynn’s Blogs is no longer my Site title, I feel the new one is too long! Whatever! I have no choice but to keep BLOGGING! God, that word is heavy, like a bump on a log.

  • Hawaiian Name

    While lurking online for a catchy domain name, I came across this website and found that –

    Your Hawaiian Name is:

    Your English Name = Flynn
    Your Hawaiian Name = Paline

    Showing 1 records out of 1 found (1 to 1)

    —

    Now doesn’t that look like Sarah Palin? Whatever!

    —

    I also found Pelinaka through http://www.alohafriends.com/.

  • Jackboots Drivel

    Here are more words that I’ve recently learned while lurking online:

    2. Drivel – by Sean Ambrose (Jan 18, 2008)

    Drivel; To have a rant often associated with delusions of grandeur. I could just imagine the sycophantic ‘drivel’ spewed by this little despot while wearing his jackboots, ‘Albeit macht frei’ and ‘if I had another term’.

    In reference to John Howard, 25th Prime minister of Australia and geriatric visionary on his appointment as speaker to the Washington speaker’s Bureau.

    1. Jackboots – by The Col. (Nov 27, 2004)

    Thoes cool boots the Nazi’s use to goose step with
    Jackboots are used for heiling and marching

  • New Words

    While lurking online for a catchy domain name, I came across some new words (from the past, of course):

    buggle boo

    Term of endearment used for your significant other. Someone that tackles another to the floor, and snuggles with them as a way of affection.

    “I love my buggle boo!”

    buggle

    When one tackles another to the floor, then burrows into their shirt while snuggling them at the same time as a way of affection.

    Vinny: *buggles* ily
    Sarah: -buggles back- ily2
    Vinny: WHOO!
    Sarah: ;D

  • ‘Oh, hi, Christ. You free for dinner Wednesday?’

    Topic # 176 : If you could invite any three people in history to a dinner party, who would you pick? List your historical guests. Explain why you want him or her there.

    Christ
    I would like Jezuz to explain the Bible in its original context (without ancient bloggers cross-referencing each other) and the various `Christian` denominations and why my karma should run over your dogma.

    Allah
    I would like Mohammad to explain the Koran in its original context (with the proper tonality to each verses) and if misogyny and pedophilia were considered social `norms` during his times.

    Brahman
    I would like Krishna to explain the various text and complexity of traditions and if these mythological figures are indeed demons being worshiped by the faithfully blind.

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  • Powerful Milkrun

    Do you remember that televised commercial about cow juice?

    “It does a body good”

    Well, tonight I had several bowel movements after drinking, say about two glasses of organic, WHOLE milk (with Vitamin D and other fortified stuff in it). With the aide of some shredded wheat, I was able to make four trips to the toilet. And after several flushes later, I feel light. My belly is tighter against my body and all the food I’ve eaten seem to have just left rather rudely. I was stuck for awhile but the milk helped.

  • Predicting Death

    “I’ll be the next one to be placed into a nursing home.“

    ~Uncle Gigolo during Lola’s burial last week.

    “I will probably live until the age of 78 years old.“

    ~Maw to Inday during yesterday evening phone call.

    —

    So you see, when the arrogance of the young generation will meet death during their old age, that’s the time they will realize their misdeeds done during their healthier years. However, Uncle Gigolo, much like his ex-wife the Chingster and his daughter the Shillster, he still has a chip on his shoulder, while in the hospital for a UTI treatment. Eww.

    “I’m still `Astig!` I’m still ` Tigas!`”

    ~Uncle Gigolo to Paw during a phone conversation Saturday evening.

    —

    *`Astig` means thug (or moron without hope); while `Tigas` means ridigity (or hard as a rock or stubborn as a mule.)