Tag: humor

There is a simple way to beat the flu and avoid getting the flu shot: Let nature run its course. Here is a simple regime I use that works.

• Drink lots of fluid. That means don’t drown yourself or flush out your potassium, causing spasms. Water is a primary choice. But orange juice is good anytime, if you don’t have diabetes, which is to say that too much fruit drinks could raise blood sugar levels too high and too quickly. You know you need fluid when your mouth or lips are dry and probably is usually from breathing through the mouth when nasal passages get congested. You know you need fluid when you’ve got hard poop, too. So when the lower left side of your abdomen hurts, that means also to drink more fluids.
• Take medicine. I know some people advocate `going natural`. But taking two tablets of regular Tylenol and Benadryl helps to alleviate some of the triggered allergies, along with flu-like symptoms. So taking anti-histamines helps, especially if you hear wheezing in your chest. I try not to take decongestants or expectorant: My body can take care of that by the normal coughing, sneezing and runny eyes and nose.
• Get lots of sleep. For the past two weeks, I had to complete my temporary job assignment while sick with flu-like symptoms! In order for my body to get enough rest and knowing that my DNA requires long hours of cat-naps in order to function properly and avoid being a crab-apple in the morning, I had to go bed early. This meant sleeping at 8:00pm or 9:00pm; so that I could wake up refreshed at 6:00am to 6:30am. Plus, my body was trying to heat up, killing the cooties within, and it was tired.
• Eat healthy food. I’m mostly a carnivore. And since Maw was hospitalized during Christmas, we changed our diet to include LOTS of leafy, green RAW vegetables in our diet. It tasted like dirt or molds. And no amount of soaking or shaking could take out some of that nasty taste. I found myself taking one whole banana and eight small chunks of mangoes to work. During break times, I’d take half of each type of fruit to sustain my blood sugar. This helps reduces irritability. So if someone or a co-worker you know is irritable, they could be low on sugar. Offer them an apple or slices of apples as moral boosters, if you will.
• Shower after work. I believe in cleansing the body and colon, which I’ve done once. After work, I believe that any left over cooties (bad karma, like sneezing and coughing co-workers and rotten energy from computers, monitors and over head fluorescent bulbs) from work would be washed away from a simple shower. I’ve done this rather quickly, now that my hair-do has been BUTCHED! So any guy with short hair shouldn’t take no more than a few minutes to get clean and go about their business later on.
• Learn to snork. For the past few months, I’ve discovered how to irrigate my sinuses and snork out the cooties from within. First, the shower head allows for water to flow up the nose and down the throat. Second, anyone with access to a sink in the bathroom at work should use that facility frequently. Instead of wasting time blowing your boogers on tissue papers or napkins and contributing to the destruction of trees, try blowing out your cooties at the sink with running faucet water. This is a good time to gurgle out the gunk from the back of your throats and flush out the runny and sometimes crusty eyes, too.
• Use disinfectants. There are anti-bacterial lotions, soaps and wipes. Use the wipes on your phones, keyboards and mouse. Use the lotions anytime to feel moisturized. Use soaps for your hands, wrists and even forearms BEFORE putting anything, like food, in your damn mouth. The back of the throat contains adenoids and tonsils. If those lines of defenses flair up, that’s it.
• Avoid people and pets. Seriously, if you don’t want to get too sick and if your immune system is compromised, just take heart and go hug a tree. Nature and fresh air is good for the soul, too.