Tag: humor

  • Flynn’s Bills

    [Scene One: A nice high-brow mall somewhere.]

    Dude: Hi, there! Are you lost?

    Flynn: Yeah. I can`t seem to find my wallet.

    Dude: Uh okay. Maybe I could help. My name is Dude.

    Flynn: Sure. Thanks, Dude. My name is Flynn.

    Dude: Nice to meet you, Flynn. Do you remember where you last saw your wallet?

    Flynn: Not really. I’ve been shopping all day.

    Dude: Well. Let’s have coffee on me and maybe you might remember.

    Flynn: Great idea! By the way, did you know I’m a billionaire?

    Dude: No way! Serious? You’ve got to be kidding me! (He’s drooling now.)

    Flynn: Yeah. I have credit card bills, telephone bills, automobills

    THE END

    P.S. It’s a great brouhaha!

    Author’s note: Credit for this joke as told by Paw.

    Copyright © FVDF. All rights reserved.

  • 20060920-Flynn’s Bills

    [Scene One: A nice high-brow mall somewhere.]

    Dude: Hi, there! Are you lost?

    Flynn: Yeah. I can`t seem to find my wallet.

    Dude: Uh okay. Maybe I could help. My name is Dude.

    Flynn: Sure. Thanks, Dude. My name is Flynn.

    Dude: Nice to meet you, Flynn. Do you remember where you last saw your wallet?

    Flynn: Not really. I’ve been shopping all day.

    Dude: Well. Let’s have coffee on me and maybe you might remember.

    Flynn: Great idea! By the way, did you know I’m a billionaire?

    Dude: No way! Serious? You’ve got to be kidding me! (He’s drooling now.)

    Flynn: Yeah. I have credit card bills, telephone bills, automobills

    THE END

    P.S. It’s a great brouhaha!

    Author’s note: Credit for this joke as told by Paw.

    Copyright © FVDF. All rights reserved.

  • 20060907-BLT Sandwich

    Latest news: Flynn’s green boogers picked fresh from within the recesses of her congested nasal passages. Boogers have been flung deftly all over the place – on the walls, on the floor and, yes, in kitty’s dish. Wait there’s more! Boogers taste good and are quite salty. Try some while it lasts. Stay tuned for more!

    Hey: Look, here, people! Don’t I have the right to laugh at my joke about the boogers? The real humors are is these latest stories of this ‘oh, drama but laughing tool’ via the mass media regarding another attempt to pick, prod and play with your memory cells residing within your gray matter, or the brain, which is encased in your thick skulls.

    Once again, I had expected something like the sudden appearance of this ‘OBLT ‘ to pop up and present itself like a hemorrhoid that would never heal as with the psyche of those affected by a certain September event some years ago. People need to pray for forgiveness, heal their hearts and try not be tormented with these newsworthy nonsense.

    At around 2323 (Pacific Time), I had experienced another temporary flare-up. This was made possible, not in part because of the ‘OBLT,’ but due to of the almighty effects from a tall glass of organic milk coupled with a good zapping session of about one hour at the base of my tail bone.

    This means I’ve eaten too much good food stuff lately to have made a big dump earlier. So the choice is yours: Either sit in front of the televised programming (or whatever media happens to be available) or stand in line to at your local greasy food place. Either ingest the stinking garbage or digest the delicious BLT (or bacon, lettuce and tomato) sandwich.

    Copyright © 2007 by Fluffy von der Flynn. All rights reserved.

  • 20060228-Milk Box

    I’m stuck in a rut and living this flat-lining existence of comfort and bliss with no worry or care in the world. I’m stuck in a writer’s block that creeps upon me now as I try fruitlessly to think of useful words to describe the event. I’m stuck in a dream world that seems too good to be true and that nothing could get any better than being here alone with my thoughts and by me.

    Honestly, I could do myself a ‘real’ favor and go outside to the ‘real’ world and meet other people with ‘real’ experiences of riding the peaks and troughs that seem similar to ripples created by a pebble dropped into a pond. But first I must finish my soy milk. (Personally, I do not like the unsweetened version because the nasty taste reminds me of Play-Doh).

    I drink my soy milk diluted with bottled water for ease of swallowing. This should provide my mind the nourishment it needs to think better. My hope, furthermore, is for a clearer perception of where I’m going with this blog. Ah! I feel the half fullness of my stomach (or half empty glass for the pessimists out there) of soy milk permeating into the creative portion of my being.

    Yum! There we go-another swallow of this slightly sweetened formula that reminds me of mother’s milk. I feel like a baby once again thinking about those younger years of being pampered by my mommy and powered by my daddy. Oh, swallowing is only for food and liquid, right? And that’s how I should keep my blog: nice and clean like a baby’s bottom.

    Another swig of this stuff and I’m almost to the bottom of the glass. I hope I have enough space in my stomach to keep the flow of words going in this blog. My mind is now in creative thinking mode. The boost from this liquid proves to be helpful for me.

    And now I have a blog in mind since my original topic seemed to have changed after finishing the foodstuff. For whatever reason, I now see an avenue on better days. All this introverted activity has gotten me nowhere except to prove to myself that I may have a creative edge in writing. I guess practice is all I needed.

    I wonder if being indoors is paradise all the same with me and no one else and with the scary prospect of no parole (a pun, please). This sounds like a normal deal for any secure minded individual to stay locked up in a box containing other boxes to provide a lifetime of enjoyment.

    My favorite boxes are the musical ones that hold my jewelries and silent ones that hold smaller trinkets. There are my drawers (of white with gold-colored trimmed furniture that my parent bought for me as a child) for keepsakes and other articles of clothing.

    My computers (one primary and the other a laptop) provide very informative data when I could log online with my freaking inexpensive, dial-up service, which seemed to have disconnected earlier tonight and a few weeks ago.

    In my closet, there are many old types of clothing on old hangers and other containers of old stuffed animal toys and object of arts that Brat (with an ‘old soul’ of Atlantean wisdom) has gifted me over the years.

    I used to listen to my stereo system, which I moved downstairs to replace Paw’s larger stereo system, which he bought from Okinawa, Japan back in 1976 and which has been recently donated to a local charity.

    I used to watch televised programming, which did nothing but hook me into this humorous drooling stupor of watching only the best and informative truths provided to ~sheeple~.

    I read books, articles online and periodicals once handled by patients waiting in doctor’s offices. I find that reading is a good source of information because the readers create the images and sounds in their own minds.

    The greatest box that one could ever have is a beautiful mind. The contents of one’s mind are infinite and the possibility to create a new world by composing my blog is like the milk box and its liquid contents. Sharing my blog to my readers is as good as drinking a tall glass of soy milk. Cheers.

    Copyright © FVDF. All rights reserved.

    Link to Flynn’s Daily Blogs

    Tuesday February 28, 2006 – 09:30pm (PST) Edit | Delete | Permanent Link | 0 Comments