Flynn's Paws: My Thoughts, My Gripes

Tag: humor

  • 20090409-Cleaner Mouth

    To get cleanest mouth and avoid cooties and colds at the same time, y’all will need the following tools of the trade:

    • TOOTHBRUSH with EXTRA-SOFT bristles. Easier on (NON-generative) gums.
    • FLOSS. Waxed coating easier for . Flavor optional.
    • WATER-PIK. Massages gums. Good for lazy people not using floss.
    • MOUTHWASH. Not as good as alcohol. Not that I tried!
    • TONGUE-SCAPER. Not as good as toothbrush. Again use fancy tool if lazy.
    • TOOTHPASTE. Well, try something without flouride/flourine as part of the ingredients.

    The following are easy eight-step instructions for good oral hygiene. Perfect anytime of the day, while working and dating, too!

    1. Brush tongue (back-and-forth – NOT sideways – until white stuff gone).
      Go as far back as possible. Be careful. Don’t gag.
    2. Brush hard palette (until slimy gunk feels smooth to tongue).
      Go as far back as possible. Be careful. Don’t gag.
    3. Brush teeth gently.
    4. Floss (or, if too lazy, use a ‘water-pick’, which is good for sensitive gum, too).
    5. Swish water VERY HARD inside mouth and through gum. Spit and repeat until chem-suds disappear. Try tilting head side-ways (cheeks parallel to sink) to get water as far back of mouth, near molars, as possible.
    6. Use chem-gargle, if needed to extra breath protection.
    7. Test breath on willing subject. Good luck.
    8. If no luck, use lots of natural, sugar-less breath mints. Stop eating aromatic foods, like garlic, onions and peppers!

    Copyright © 2009 by Fluffy von der Flynn. All rights reserved.

  • 20090331-Looks Like

    Remember Uni-Bomer w/ thick, wrap-around shades & hooded sweats? Took pics of Paw sporting his cataract shades & dark blue USPS hooded sweats during trash time.

  • Spam- Sunday, March 15, 2009 7:32 PM

    Could it be you???

    Sunday, March 15, 2009 7:32 PM
    From: “Yanna K.”
    Add sender to Contacts
    To: [various Yahoo! emails here]

    Ave, my friend

    Love happens whether you want it to or not. Don’t try to control it. But make a first step for to help her to find you. A few words about me? I am romantic person. I see my future life as happy, calm and warm. I’ll do everything for this. My eyes are full of tenderness. I am slim and good-looking. I’d like to meet a man who knows where he’s going in his life. Physical activity and an active lifestyle are also very important to me, and I think that my significant other should feel the same way. I don’t have much else to say at this point except that I’d love to talk to you. Smile at me [stupid email link]

    Yourth faithfully
    Yan

    Author’s note: Whatever loser! And quit emailing spams! Get a life! And stop looking online for love! You’re only asking for trouble. TRUST ME: I know. Parasites lurk on the internet. And use the dictionary next time before posting your messages. Sheesh!

  • 20090312-Three Bees

    What makes America? Booze, burgers & broomsticks! Bunch of overweight drunkards shooting off their bullets @ anything/one that trespasses on their property, eh.

  • 20090303-Good Laugh

    Yesterday, filled in the eyes of people from TV Guide. Made them look like vampire mannequins. Freaked out Maw. Drew in braces & nose rings. Almost peed: LOL!!

  • 20090123-Kawali Man

    ‘Kawali! Bakit ay nasonog ang balat mo?Hindi magkita mo kasi ay dilim ang tinging mo!Maitim sa gabi na.Huwag mag galit siya!Kawali!Na saan kita?'(humor by moi).

  • 20090115-That Boy

    ‘I’m a good boy when I’m asleep but a bad boy when I’m awake!’(Paw) He’s a joker but it’s cruel for those who really know him well. It’s better 2b awake & good.

  • 20090106-Random Thoughts

    The sight and sounds of people smiling and laughing make me wonder if face value should be taken as sincere or fake. I see hairy monkeys with white fangs teeth.

  • 20090106-Random Thoughts

    Two ships sailing towards each other, billowing sails unfurled. Upon intersection, they greet each other with cannon balls. Goodbye as they pass by each other..

  • 20081104-A Song

    Refrain: I LOVE A SOCIALIST, COMMUNIST IDEAL…

    WORKING SO HARD — ONE AND FOR ALL…
    I WANT WHAT’S YOURS…
    AND YOURS WILL BE MINE…

    LOVING A SOCIALIST, COMMUNIST WAY!

    Copyright © 2008 by Fluffy von der Flynn. All rights reserved.

  • 20081009-Cyber Clean

    Good God, ‘Ken’! I got slightly scared after seeing this cleaning procedure in action via this link. It’s so cute!

    Copyright © 2008 by Fluffy von der Flynn. All rights reserved.

  • 20080920-Daily Diary

    Heard helicopter around 04:50PM after waking up.
    Saw long sylph forming from distance of Bay towards our house.
    Then copter left after I stuck my tongue out and wiggled my hands near my ears like a bulls horn.