Flynn's Paws: My Thoughts, My Gripes

Tag: myBlogging-category

Describing my immediate surroundings towards the beginning and a twist to the tale or possible solutions to issues towards the end of some blogs and how they relate to my expectations of the world at large.

  • 20060422-Playing Plastic

    Yesterday, we encountered more plastic visages from our relatives. They do seem behaved on the outside; yet I often wonder what mean spirits possessed their insides. There is definitely something wrong but cannot tune into the lack of nice qualities I expect from pod peoples.

    The faces of certain relatives are deeply filled with pock marks, weird wrinkles and puffiness filled underneath the cheekbone areas. The twinkles in their eyes are unnervingly insincere and sometimes bug eyed like monsters. Their smiles are etched into their faces and have little or no warmth through their opaque white teeth.

    Maw and I had discussed yesterday evening around 06:00PM about the inner workings of how our East Bay relatives behaved. I have offered my best explanation that we are very territorial and will defend ourselves against others or from our very own kin folks to the very end. Finding fault for the slightest error made at any one time is unforgettable.

    This means that in-laws would be blamed regardless for trifle matters, such as who attended which parties and how frequently one would show face in spite of the back biting that has been going on up to this point in time. There seems to be a general burden that in-laws have to carry for the term of any relationship.

    My presumption is that being in America allows some to forget where they originated. They probably forgot the hierarchy of respecting older people, who are more sensitive and perhaps more traditional than Americanized Filipinos. They freely chose to ‘just ignore’ the protocol of properly greeting and leaving.

    My ‘real’ life experience taught me that certain nasty creatures could tune out or just ignore a friendly gesture of waving goodbye. I have a feeling those people are using their gang, unity or togetherness technique to include only preferred members in their close minded boxes.

    There has been some basic kindness with a simple smile or kind word from certain people, though. Little has been said as the norm except two male first cousins who bothered to have a small conversation of a couple of minutes each with me.

    Maw’s belief that only good exists is opposite of what she expected from her in-laws, who had exposed her further to the harsh realities in life. She truly believes her peace is found with her prayers and within her own God. Her face is remarkably youthful as noticed yesterday by the other curious onlookers.

    Once again I have no other recourse but to take the middle ground between the betrayal of innocence and the trust in love. I cannot ‘just ignore’ the existence of my paternal relatives; yet I cannot ‘just ignore’ the existence of my true being. I prefer freedom over security anytime; forward looking statements over backward thinking attitudes; and embracing enemies over ignoring love.

    My simple life may become more exposed to the world of my future in-laws, if any, and have saved my sense of self by being alone. If stopping my smiling or giggling inappropriately would turn my face plastic, my inner guidance would refuse to be downplayed among more professional players in the game of life.

    Copyright © FVDF. All rights reserved.

    Link to Flynn’s Daily Blogs

    Saturday April 22, 2006 – 01:50am (PDT) Edit | Delete | Permanent Link | 0 Comments

  • 20060421-Burial Bed

    Today is the funeral of the relative. I am supposed to get dressed in the usual color of black after my sleep has been disturbed twice by Paw who had knocked on my bedroom door this morning. I found my neck craned to the left in its usual comfortable position.

    The smell of coffee brewing into my bedroom from downstairs makes me hungry as the Sunlight appears brighter over Mt. Hamilton, CA to the gray cloudy morning at 07:07AM. The air does not feel cold like yesterday and imagine today’s funeral service is not going to be rainy.

    Paw replaced Brat as a pallbearer and I heard Brat say a joyous elation at 07:11AM that he doesn’t have to attend today’s burial. I envy Brat because he seems to be able to avoid the many distractions in life, especially from relatives that enjoy parties.

    Brat has to oversee some contractors working at his new house, which seems too small for me but too large for my parents to imaging cleaning. The smell of new houses (and cars) make me feel proud to know that people are able to afford their luxury goods while still living as human beings on this precious planet.

    Paw insisted that we leave around 08:00PM so that we could be at the chapel at around 09:00AM. I felt that we could have left the house around08:30AM due to the traffic is in the opposite direction. I decided to travel slowly and on the slowest lane on the rightmost side to get there.

    We left the house at 08:05AM and traveled at 60 miles per hour northbound on Highway 880 towards our exit at Decoto Road. As usual I have my favorite entourage of ‘watchers’ leaving their parked positions from this stretch of highway. There were three vehicles in total that I noticed along the way.

    The first two vehicles stopped their emergency blinkers upon my intersecting their positions at 08:25AM. These were light colors in beige and grayish blue, I think. The beige colored sedan had two mini antennas sticking out from the back windows.

    The third vehicle was a tow truck with its broken vehicle in the back. This tow truck stopped its emergency blinkers around 08:30AM near the exit upon my intersecting this position. I flashed my brakes to show I cared too.

    We arrived at the funeral home and took pictures of cousins, the eight paternal siblings and other miscellaneous shots while waiting inside. I felt relaxed the whole time until traveling from 10:00AM to 11:30AM towards the church. We had both our emergency blinkers and head lights on.

    The police escorts were very skilled as they weaved back and forth through the procession and while they stopped traffic at each intersection. I think those police did their jobs well in directing traffic. The scary part was coming back from the mass on southbound Highway 880 because we were too close to each other.

    The burial was quick as the coffin was lowered into the ground. I was one of remaining person to throw red roses into the plot because there were people crowding around that tossed their hopes into that hole in the ground. The ground will do a nice job of biodegrading the reproductive organs of these flowering plants.

    While waiting mindlessly under the heat of the sun, I enjoyed standing under my wide umbrella with wooden handles and a colorful stain glassed design of the Sistine Chapel. Our umbrella was by far the prettiest among the rest.

    I took pictures of the fluffy, white clouds and sylphs overhead as well as small purple flowers in the cement container of a large obelisk shaped structure, which had a small pyramid top. There were Masonic symbols elsewhere on the property.

    My Succor Punch from Quebec, Canada was buzzing away in my deep, over the shoulder leather black bag. My decision to bring this crystal healing device along is to help clean our environment. This cleansing did work today because a nasty monster had gagged on her spit (or post nasal drips) the whole time we were at the chapel this morning.

    She continued to cough throughout the mass this afternoon. Her waving me away won’t suffice under these circumstances. I forced her and her family to shake my hands in peace at mass. I had expected more from someone who failed to show face during the growing years in the past.

    Malditas, according to old Filipino sayings, are mean and manipulative. This particular maldita did not show proper respect to my parents and me, especially when leaving the restaurant this afternoon. I waved and smiled goodbye to her and her monstrous, six foot daughter but neither acknowledged my friendly gesture.

    Burials should symbolize the passing away of mean spirited people and the leaving behind ill feelings towards one another. Unfortunately, some remain alive to show their hideous monstrosity by not being nice. People should try proving to themselves with whatever means possible (like orgonite for example) to reveal those people who do not behave.

    Today, I am certain that being buried is almost comparable to those people who are not fully awake and continue to sleep on their beds without opening their eyes to the true nature of bad people, who need to be cleansed towards the better good and cleared from the environment for nicer folks.

    Copyright © FVDF. All rights reserved.

    Link to Flynn’s Daily Blogs

    Friday April 21, 2006 – 07:15am (PDT) Edit | Delete | Permanent Link | 0 Comments

  • 20060420-April Flowers

    Tonight’s eulogy was as I expected. Prior to our arrival, I noticed there were sylphs hovering in the skies above the hills, which were covered with the greenest grasses and dotted with sheep and horses as the intersection to Decoto Road.

    We saw a horse rider on a reddish horse located inside a white fence in the distance. Both were looking together at the setting sun, which was to our general eight o’clock direction at that time. There were farm hands working to unload hay from a truck in our two o’clock direction.

    The service was already in the middle of the same ‘Prayer for the Dead’ mantras when the four of us walked into the Mission Chapel of ‘The Chapel of the Chimes’ in Hayward, CA. around 06:30PM. Brat had to use the bathroom. Both of us walked quickly through the back portion of the chapel and through the mini-lunchroom straight ahead.

    There was this senora with long curly black hair that didn’t seem friendly due to the many Filipinos milling around the food section. I was hungry and eyed the vegetable wraps and other carbohydrate goodies displayed on the tables as my stomach rumbled in frustration.

    The speeches were given by relatives, friends and this little old lady with very white hair. All the speeches gave a little background of how the deceased was related to the bio-unit and how he came to affect their lives that he touched the most. During the eulogy, my concentration was somewhat affected due to my head and ears were stuffy since 02:00PM this afternoon and as I currently blog.

    I liked all the speeches, especially by the same priest that gave me the softest peace be with you handshake and serene gazes last Friday night around 08:20PM after the last rite prayers at the hospital. He kept his face in my general direction, which I thought was not at all unusual since I am quite beautiful (I believe).

    His words were simple and spoken softly throughout the eulogy. I’ve come to believe his presence tonight is yet another significant confirmation of my many teachers that have been placed in my current lifetime. His eulogy was the longest and most profound that I was transfixed at his every word. I’ve nodded in affirmation each time he reflected my inner guidance.

    He did mention that the living struggle everyday with the negative aspects of worrying, fear and, of all things, mushroom clouds that may result from war; that the fixations on money, gold, houses and cars mean completely nothing; and that the relationships created among each other are of utmost importance.

    The priest allowed the audience to think how each is to be remembered when our time comes. I was, of course, thinking that we will end up as fertilizer. I wondered if he knew what I was thinking. (There were people hiding to the far right of the chapel and I wonder if they saw me. By the way, I was wearing a black sweater with red trimming, gray pants and my fake white pearl barrette. Hi!)

    He twice emphasized passages from the ‘Babel’ regarding the theme of ‘to know Him, there is no death.’ In my opinion, this is a simple truth and do not know any other conclusive evidence to share in this blog. I was thinking of living by his example, which means to become a pariah of some sort.

    Soon we found ourselves closing our eyes as instructed by the priest, who provided words of comfort and relaxation through breathing. He said to relax our whole being from the top of our heads, necks, stomachs, feet and especially our eyeballs. I knew this was a meditative technique of a guru.

    The priest in his final message during the relaxation said, ‘I love you.’ This statement was contagious and said this twice to an aunt (in-law) sitting to my left. I’ve been saying this more frequently every other day, whenever I felt like and with gusto. I am not afraid of making myself a fool by saying this out loud because this is the truth.

    Tonight was not another day in the month of April. Tonight was my expectation of people to awaken to the simple truth of living together in harmony. I know communication done in public, such as by the priest tonight, is not coincidence but a gift that exist to the few who hear His messages.

    My message tonight goes out, not only to a particular flowering Petal of April, but to everyone as ‘I love you.’

    Copyright © FVDF. All rights reserved.

    Link to Flynn’s Daily Blogs

    Thursday April 20, 2006 – 11:55pm (PDT) Edit | Delete | Permanent Link | 0 Comments

  • 20060419-Consider Cremation

    Tonight will be the first viewing of two for that relative. I do not understand why people would spend the time to sit in a roomful of strangers. I personally do no feel comfortable sitting and not speaking my mind besides mourning. I expect people to talk about issues not related to anything special and maybe mostly about the dead.

    There is really nothing to say during the viewing except a few words during the eulogy. To mention the good that the person has done in their past is always good to hear. But the few, who remember the true nature of a person’s misdeeds, try to forgive and forget (if possible) now that the person passed on.

    There is a slight chance that some people attending do not know the dead well enough to care and visit in the first place. That happens to be me because I do not like to seeing the form lying in the coffin and not moving. The person is no longer alive and the efforts to take time off from work and to drive over to the funeral home are stressful activities.

    Arranging the viewing and funeral services is already stressful enough for the people overseeing this hard work. No one will ever know where the bodies will end up after the funeral homes cease to exist. Funeral homes are not homes but business entities out to make money. Some people do not have money and cannot afford a proper burial.

    I would encourage people to get cremated because it saves money. I do not understand why people would spend their hard earned pennies to get buried especially if there is no one to visit the grave. The dead cannot enjoy money and I believe the deceased do not care how their former bodies are left.

    Enjoying the money would be best spent by passing on the remainder to the beneficiaries, who are alive. This saves beloved visitors from experiencing the pain of viewing and burying the deceased. Burials and cremations should not be dragged on too long and twenty-four hours should be all it takes to send the person to eternal rest.

    Besides, burials take up too much land space and make the neighborhood creepy with all those headstones popping up from the landscape. This does not make the aesthetics of the land value any better. I believe the aura of the graves need much clearing because of peoples’ sad emotions that may linger at the sites as new arrivals clutter up the surfaces.

    Cremation allows the form to return to its basic elements, which is mostly carbon based. I wish only to mention that we are good as fertilizer and the soil of Mother Earth would welcome us this way. A burial at sea is also another noble image. This seems like another profitable venue for those who are still stuck in the three dimensional illusion of making money.

    Personally, I prefer cremation and possibly both on earth and at sea. Unfortunately, my family and relatives might disapprove since we ‘Cat Hole Licks’ prefer burials over cremation. I still do not fully understand my religion. I may have to put this request into writing or disappear so that no one would know my whereabouts.

    Copyright © 2007 by Fluffy von der Flynn. All rights reserved.

  • 20060416-Happy Easter

    I greet Happy Easter to everyone. The whole morning has been raining and I surmise that team orgonite has contributed to the radical moisture that my Bay Area has received recently.

    I do believe that we will not have the drought, which reminds me of saving water by not flushing the toilet frequently or watering the plants in our backyard with gray water, for example.

    The day was simple and I arose from bed at 06:15AM after Paw knocked on my bedroom door and greeted us kids Happy Easter. I took deeps breathes and felt like I had a good night’s sleep. I dragged myself out of bed and couldn’t decide what to wear and found my brown colored, high neck vest in the closet.

    We attended this morning’s Easter Sunday mass at 07:00AM and arrived around 06:50AM. This mass had people filling up the pews because some people were already standing along walls of the side aisles in side the church. We had decided last night to attend this very first mass of the day to avoid the crowd later on and the children that would be in tow.

    I later drove my bio-units to a burger place but had decided to go eat breakfast at a nicer restaurant instead. The rain was pouring when we got out of the car to the restaurant (and to the mass earlier). We had only one black ‘Tote’ umbrella that automatically pops open and extends with the push of the button.

    We were escorted by a very young lad named ‘Paul,’ who was cute. And later ‘David’ served us nicely with his cute smile. I liked him as we all joked about adopting him since we will now have two empty bedrooms upstairs. I helped my bio-units order their meals and didn’t realize most establishments do not serve soup, which I wanted as a light breakfast.

    So Maw and I shared a plate since both of us have reduced appetites recently. I think we are getting older basically. We were served two extra hot chocolates for Paw and Brat and two extra cups of regular coffee for Maw and me. Maw and I tipped ‘David’ well and he smiled with his comment that we were easy customers.

    I like to think that we could make each others’ lives easier with a simple gesture of kindness and understanding. For example, we patrons of eating establishments need to know how to order from the menu and state the items clearly and somewhat loudly. Some waiters cannot hear well and the background noise for me would be distracting.

    This makes the waiter less stressed out and the patrons happy. Patrons who are fussy are not nice. I do not like patrons who make a big deal for poor service. Perhaps the waiters are not happy and should consider their treatment from customers in the past.

    So we had eaten breakfast and discussed affairs with ‘Brat’ being frustrated but joyous at the move to his new home this week. We then went home and I proceeded to edit ALL my Yahoo! 360 blog entries with the spell checker. I found many errors this morning until 01:30PM this afternoon.

    I slept until 05:00PM and felt quite refreshed after being so tired of editing my blogs. I am a less irritating person after having my nice afternoon nap which makes me clear headed and happier.

    I heard the slamming of the garage door which signaled that Paw is about to put on his shoes. He would sit on the second step of the stairways and take his usual time at a slow pace to accomplish this small task.

    I panicked thinking that the taxes were due by midnight tonight. Paw came upstairs again and said that it’s not due until tomorrow. I didn’t want to attend the 06:00PM ‘Prayer for the Dead’ of the relative but decided that I had better show face to a bunch of people who will become fertilizer for the future as well.

    I drove my bio-units at 80 miles per hour on Northbound 880 towards San Leandro, CA and managed to parallel park nicely right in front of her house. I am proud of this little effort and skills that do not always occur since our area is not crowded and have better parking lots.

    We waited another thirty minutes or so in Filipinos time before we actually started to pray. Filipinos have a tendency to delay the timing almost from one to two hour for private gatherings and especially when leaving where we could talk some more before stepping out the door to go home.

    I was not at all surprised that my first cousins from hospital two days ago did not attend. ‘Gignat’, who is the tallest first cousin at over 6 feet, was the only other cousin that attended tonight’s prayer. I wondered why ‘Gignat’, my uncle ‘Macaroni’, called us last night to inform us of this gathering. His wife, ‘Glogre’, seemed behaved tonight and did not roll her eyeballs at me twice in two separate parties from the past, which I will never forget.

    I liked the small chapel built as an extension leading from the original backyard. We prayed and sang in here. Only five of the closest friends attended this prayer. I thought there would be more people attending since the couple used to throw lots of parties. I suppose that there are separate prayers for their friends later on.

    My bio-units and I participated in saying the ‘Divine Mercy’ which is a good sign since we are the oldest bio-units on Paws side to remain intact for three decades. This prayer is repeated five times based on the ten beads of the rosary. This is another form of mantra that allows me to relax by the way.

    The prayer is supposed to make the lost soul finds its way up into heaven. I don’t know where these people get this information but that is the belief system established and maybe modified by the Catholic’ Church. Traditionally, we are supposed to pray for forty (or ninety) days until the soul finds its way to an eternal home (or another incarnation for other belief systems).

    I ate my share of: mostly <em>pancit,</em> which is clear noodles with vegetables and/or meat and cooked by Maw without my help again, very sweet orange wedges, shrimp dipped in cocktail, cornbread made with Philly cheese and bottled water from home.

    Brat drove home and I had to take a nice shower to wash away dirt, grime and iniquities of breathing the stuffy air from that house. I proceeded to electronically file the taxes and paid for both Brat and me. I had to charge my credit card for the Federal forms and debit my checking account for the State forms. I am poorer as a result.

    I’ve ordered another Zapper with gold from Africa. I felt I needed a replacement because the pennies on the original Terminator from three years ago are wearing down. This still works and will use it to supplement my new order. I placed another order online for three general healing products. I’m trying to clean my innards and could use that nice parfait cream for my skin.

    I don’t mind this simple life as long as no one bothers me. My Easter day did not have the Easter eggs to hunt or color from the past or the screaming of children to shock my chakras in the future or the sunshine to go take pictures, which were purple flowers growing in the front of their house.

    Easter is supposed to be Christian celebration of the Resurrection of Christ with its pagan fertility symbols of rabbits, colored eggs and white lily flowers. The month of April is really the Blessed birthday instead of the pagan December or Winter solstice, which is the longest darkness of the year. Either way I greet Happy Birthday to You.

    Copyright © FVDF. All rights reserved.

    Link to Flynn’s Daily Blogs

    Sunday April 16, 2006 – 11:55pm (PDT) Edit | Delete | Permanent Link | 0 Comments

  • 20060414-Good Grief

    The relative, Allbutt DePriestman, died at 19:00 tonight in a hospital room number of 311, which signifies something to me due to the number eleven. Malform, his wife, should be the one most to cry after putting up with the likes of him for so long. There is nothing wrong with two fat people in love.

    I cannot understand why these people would cry during someone’s death. My cousins expressed teary eyed concern though I know darn well they are not that close to the fellow. I did not like playing games especially with them and had no reason to ruin an evening by crying out my eyes.

    I did not act normally upon seeing my cousins all gathered outside the waiting room across from the elevator. I waved my hands at them as if shooing flies away and walked away to where the dying one was located. There were no kisses or hugs to be exchanged by these people.

    I did not cry because I saw his passing as a celebration into the new world. The jazzed up tunes should have been there lighten our hearts and not bemoan the loss of another person, whom I mentioned in my prior blogs did not connect as an uncle. I tried to be the joker but these harden pods won’t let a sincere smile show through.

    I did not communicate properly and did say he is not my uncle by blood and that he is merely the husband of my aunt. My bio-units said my statements were insensitive but that is how I saw that individual. I may have embarrassed myself but have nothing to regret.

    I felt uncomfortable in their presence and tried to sit next to my cousin Maliyam who definitely sat sideways from me. Both her and my other cousin ‘Spill-Low’ left right after I said those words and I once again was left alone. I still do not like their East Bay attitudes and would bite them with my bare teeth if I could.

    Being there did not bother me. What bothered me is the fact that I had to be there no matter what. I do no understand why I cannot refuse to do anything that is considered normal by any standards by them or by anyone else. I simply refuse to believe I said or did anything wrong today.

    Perhaps Maw is also weird by sharing the public listing of Brats new house. This page showed the colored picture of the house, along with the square feet and offer price. My cousins who bought houses in San Ramon, CA had much to discuss.

    Brat has a prime location nearby a pending Costco, a 99 Ranch Market and the amenities of two mini-malls of various restaurants and a US Postal Service. Both Twit and Brat have jobs that are only ten minutes away from their new houses.

    I am proud that their square feet is larger than their cousins, who end up traveling about one hour or so in order ‘have’ a house. Maw is proud to have showed that picture to them and the fact that bio-units, like her, are there to help.

    At least Maw is being honest to these people who are notorious for hiding their struggles of being human or simply sharing a simple story of their boring lives. Unlike Maw who is wise about being nice and discrete, I tend to be blunt and hurtful at times unknowingly.

    If I had a teacher, a master, a guru, a parent, I am sure that my greatest lesson to be learned in this lifetime is to simply be nice. Avoiding my monster is very difficult and tonight it showed ugly face by being weird and behaving badly.

    My attitude stems from being spoil and having everything I could want. I kicked and screamed and was heard. But no one knew the insecurities of not belonging comfortably with anyone or any one group unlike me. I am alone and that is enough.

    If there was any grieving to be done tonight, that should have been for the lost or fallen angel that could have been loved. She is me and I’ve nowhere to go except keep descending to their levels until these pod peoples show her the true way of being normal and better.

    Perhaps after the prayers from 20:00PM to 20:20PM, there is hope for this lone angel from the knowing looks of the Catholic priest in purple colored robes. He turned to his five o’clock direction where I stood behind him and he gave me a softest handshake of peace. His rightward and serene gaze once again met mine (after the initial handshake) as I stood outside room 311 on his way out.

    Grieving is good and allows the built up emotions to flow out. My hope is that these people see that there is no need for tears or sad emotions. I cannot preach to people who have not seen beyond their infantile ways. I pray they will get over their fake emotions soon.

    My experience tonight taught me well about loving myself from the heart and mind and with all my soul. I embraced my bad side and knowing that all is well. I ask forgiveness from all those affected by my path. Hehehe.

    Copyright © FVDF. All rights reserved.

    Link to Flynn’s Daily Blogs

    Friday April 14, 2006 – 11:15pm (PDT) Edit | Delete | Permanent Link | 0 Comments

  • 20060414-Good Friday

    Today is the last day of a work week and it’s good to leave work early today. I left work at around 02:00PM (Pacific Time). I have my supervisor ‘CarolTwin DaZit’ and her boss ‘Lean SaladWash’ to thank for being so understanding of our need to leave early for religion. Friday’s are especially good when there are donuts and bagels freely given by our company.

    ‘Feign Hurt,’ a temporary co-worker, who at one time wore a maroon sweater printed with <em>lighthouses,</em> has a good heart. She gave me a pink colored, wire basket with plastic white pearls around the top. There were pink paper streamers that cradles the items, which included: a box of a wooden shaped, chocolate cross, two yellow marshmallow bunnies in a plastic zip lock, two small milk chocolate eggs, two more chocolate goodies and one hard boiled egg, which I ate for lunch and which she colored by herself.

    The weather for today is cloudy, gray and cold enough to open my bedroom window to allow the fresh arctic wind blow inside while I try to compose this blog before I time myself out for lack of activity online. For me, anything with fresh air either during rainy or sunny days is a blessing. ‘Fancy Soul,’ the new temporary worker for this week described the weather as looking ‘ugly.’ So both ‘LeNaval RedEyes’ and ‘Fancy Soul’ know the meaning of the word ‘ugly,’ which describes them perfectly. Both are fine but I’m not staying at the place that much longer.

    Today is another day a person is dying. He is relative of my aunt or eldest sister of Paw. Maw called me around noontime at work and later Paw came upstairs to inform me that he is currently on morphine, which means he is unconscious and probably not going to wake up. I pray for his forgiveness of past misdeeds. And I won’t miss him really.

    I do not care to see that fat and ugly person. I do not know him well. He seemed nice during our growing years. But he has this mean spirit, especially towards my paternal grandmother recently. I do not understand why my aunt, who is his wife, did not defend her own mother from that loud and obnoxious person. Old granny was instructed by my paternal grandfather after he passed on to live with Malform for awhile prior to her current residence at a local nursing home.

    ‘Allbut DePriestman’ was a former priest. And the fact that he prays loudly at home with the many parties to show off to friends leaves me to believe that he is not all that sincere with his prayers. Prayers to me should be reverent and serene but this is not expected from what I’ve heard coming from his mouth.

    Today is a Good Friday for celebrating a suffering of an ascended master from long ago. I do not understand why Christians would want to continue to remember how or why anyone had to go through that horrible episode of that time. Bio-units and friends have suffered along side with the leader, who was portrayed as a rebel and teacher. Those times were not fair for others who went through more horrendous experiences but not as spectacular as religion would allow.

    I did not attend mass today because I did not believe in the prescribed rituals of my religion. All I could do is offer my prayers in the hopes that people will awaken to the truth and stop their utter nonsense of trying to gain points or receiving blessings for their motivations to keep their perfect and upright moral images that go along with being Christian.

    Somehow I want to believe that His knowledge did not die on the cross as we Christians are lead to believe. Moreover, these deacons, ministers, preachers, priests or whomever do not make sense sometimes in our modern worlds as they further my confusion about what is real to me in the here and now and what is based on passages written and possibly re-written by many people over the centuries.

    I would rather celebrate the living and not dwell on the death and suffering of anyone. People should enjoy being human and live life to the fullest and not to believe too deeply that dying on the cross for our sins is necessary. I believe everyone is free of sin. Those without the spark of light or the willingness to love are not real and are best forgotten forever.

    Copyright © FVDF. All rights reserved.

    Link to Flynn’s Daily Blogs

    Friday April 14, 2006 – 03:55pm (PDT) Edit | Delete | Permanent Link | 0 Comments

  • 20060401-Backyard Paradise

    The houses here were built upon land that used to be swamps and marshes and growing orchards of apples and oranges that no longer exist as part of each backyard. The main road of S!e#rr@ Rd.’ used to be quiet long before they opened up the dead end piles of dirt now noisy with the busy railway intersection at L^ndy Rd.

    Not a dull moment could ever become of our backyard. Yesterday’s overcast and high winds blew across the foot tall lawn as the green blades bends across as if being petted by a large invisible hand. There is much cleaning up of native plants and weed and of eucalyptus leaves dried up on the ground everywhere to be done by Paw when springtime permits warm weather.

    This little plot of paradise garden has been maintained mostly by Paw and he seems at peace with his surrounding. He is a quite man, who was born on May 3 and does have this down to earth Taurus patience of digging deep into ground and soil, including his obsessive compulsive to get the rubbish separated nicely from the recyclables.

    He may take longer than most people to accomplish the maintenance but that is fine for him as long as the job is done right and perfectly the way he wants. So that the fruits of his hard labor could be harvested later on with the fruit trees bearing pomelo, apricot, nectarines, plums, lemons, pears and persimmons. The backyard is his territory.

    Whenever we have too much fruits, we share what bountiful harvest with bio-units and friends. Some appreciate the kind gestures; others are meant to be ignored and left in the gutter like some forgotten walnut. All our relatives living in the East Bay are a bunch of ungrateful people. After leaving a bagful of fruits at each door on a fine day, one would think that a simple thank you to my bio-units, at least, would suffice.

    But we know they are too busy to care because they are working sixteen hours to pay off their egos. I shouldn’t sound so bitter but I did and had to drive with Maws pleadings to deliver these bags of fruits. Her logic, according to her mother, is to treat the relatives of the in-laws nicely.

    We try to make her understand that this was not her destiny to be treated nicely in return from my own cold-hearted kin folks, whose remind me of a bunch of angry, hissing nagas.

    (He-he: I don’t know much about my bloodline or ancestry but this is as close a description I could think of to explain very territorial attitudes of people from a province in Philippines called Batangas on Paw side).

    I remember as a child looking at a particular photo of a completely white snake appearing from the page of our old Encyclopaedia. Each look at the snake’s head popping out gave me heart jolting fears that I had to cross train myself to view the photo longer and eventually to touch the photo.

    Now I know better that snakes are part of the grand design. We don’t have snakes in the backyard but there used to be crickets making noise into the night now paved over with cement, monarch caterpillars eating the milkweed that used to grow in the backyard, gophers digging large holes through our lawn, hoards of flies buzzing into spider webs and a big toad that hopped away never to be seen again.

    Times have indeed changed in lifestyles, attitudes and people that I’ve met along the way. I know that someday, people would all be nicer and stop being a bunch of hard headed nuts. People should learn to enjoy their own backyard like Paw, who happens to like walking outdoors. He’d pace back and forth while bundled up in two layers of jacket with one hooded and a baseball cap to finish the image of a toasty chestnut.

    Copyright © FVDF. All rights reserved.

    Link to Flynn’s Daily Blogs

    Saturday April 1, 2006 – 11:12pm (PST) Edit | Delete | Permanent Link | 0 Comments

  • 20060326-Car Phases

    Car ownership is a great responsibility. One learns all the rules of the road and how to be courteous to other drivers. Driving a car allows a person to run daily errands and to enjoy the scenic routes. The privileges of driving behind the wheel have allowed my bio-units to get around and go places.

    There are three simple phases that I made up to describe the evolution of our bio-units unit: newbies, peak and retirement. I’d like to utilize examples of each car that my bio-units ever owned to describe small events that filled our lives with memories. We still have pictures of these cars, which are seven in total.

    Phase One-Newbies: The newbie phase is a testing ground that goes uphill and is difficult to climb. Couples are blissfully unaware of what challenges lie ahead in their relationship. My bio-units struggled financially without any support from bio-units or friends to guide their new life in America. They lived in apartments and military houses.

    As newlyweds back in those years, my bio-units owned their first light blue Chevy. That used car brought us home from the naval hospital in Portsmouth, VA when Brat and I were infants. We went to parks and beaches and traveled in the snow from this car. This Chevy was given to (once again) ungrateful relatives on Maws side that came to America in the 1980’s

    The second one was a dark green Buick Electra 525. Our childhood was filled with good moments with this car. Brat got his face stuck in the electrically powered window and of course he cried. We traveled to Virginia Beach and fished along the beach near the ruins of military area. My bio-units loved fishing back then as Brat poked with a wood stick into the bucket filled with the captured fish.

    One time I drained the battery while listening to the radio without setting the key to accessory mode. My first behind-the-wheel was this car. The accelerator pedal was very smooth and easy to step on because of the powerful gas guzzling eight cylinder engine. This Electra was totaled in an accident. I missed that car.

    Phase Two-Peak: The peak phase is a middle ground and the highest point in a relationship. The bio-units unit undergoes growing pains as each try to live a normal life with relatives and friends. With both bio-units working, the bio-units was able to eat better and enjoy living comfortably in a single bio-units residence.

    The third car was a bright red Chevy Citation. The car replaced the Electra to allowed Paw to travel long distances. This was a beater car and the first kind of front wheel drives. This Citation was donated to a brother of Maws friend. He lives down the road and still uses this vehicle. We would point out as we drive down that road, “Hey, there’s Paws car!”

    The fourth car was a dark maroon Toyota Corolla. This car was also a beater car that Maw used to go to her work. Brat and I used this car briefly after high school. This was given to the same ungrateful relatives who in turn sold it to another buyer. Brat scared the new owners somewhere in a parking lot by exclaiming, “Hey, that used to be our car!” Because he recognized the stickers still left on the bumpers.

    The fifth car was a bright white Honda Accord. This car was used mostly by me when I attended college. It was used to go to some parties and study with some friends. Brat took over this car as he commuted miles north in Hayward, CA. He used this car to date a lot too but he ended up totaling the car coming home from work one day.

    Phase Three-Retirement: The retirement phase is the final stage that seems to go faster downhill each year. Each bio-units unit has accomplished much over the growing years and both Brat and I have new lives to lead and potentially families of our own to raise. My retired bio-units no longer struggle financially due to their hard work and dedication to their bio-units over three decades. Their jobs, however, will still continue when the next generation is born.

    The last two cars are new additions to the garage. The sixth car is a light gray Mercedes E420, which is their retirement car. Brat and I insisted they get this last one for themselves because they deserve something descent. The gas it guzzles is not practical in today’s high gasoline price, which in my area is around $2.90 per gallon for the premium at Octane 91.

    Maw and Paw usually take this car to attend mass daily in the morning. Maw has not driven behind the wheel of this one and I understand why. This one is too big to sit inside. Besides, we three don’t mind looking ‘cool’ while driving one these powerfully fast cars.

    The seventh car is a light aquamarine Mazda Protege. This serves as their second hand car in case the other one is in repair. Paw chose the color because it’s his birth color for the month of May. I like this car because it fits me like a glove for my short stature of 5’4″. The only things I don’t like about it are the poor braking system and terrible suspension system. These two existing cars will either be passed on to Brat or me.

    I’ve driven all six cars in my lifetime and will always know the difference in driving experiences of each one. The oldest cars are always the toughest as the newest ones get easier to handle and more fuel efficient. The bio-units is like new cars and each generation is always more improved. Growing up together with cars has made our lives easier. Cars have been part of the bio-units.

    Copyright © FVDF. All rights reserved.

    Link to Flynn’s Daily Blogs

    Sunday March 26, 2006 – 10:22pm (PST) Edit | Delete | Permanent Link | 0 Comments

  • 20060326-Outpace Life

    The change of pace is what I need the most by walking past the doors of my home and towards the outdoors anywhere for starters. Going to work does not count as being outside the house, because I’d end up sitting down all over again and stuck in a cubicle. I know I’ll need to go on a vacation soon for I’ve not traveled outside of the Bay Area.

    Cycling on the streets where people, sun, trees and birds abound or hiking on the hill overlooking the bay or sleeping under the stars and moons a few times are two outdoor activities that seem simple enough to enjoy. I’ve not roughed the outdoors and camping for once seems like a good early retirement option to undertake.

    Exploring during a mini-vacation is what my senses could do like: wiggling toes into surf and sand; listening to the sea gulls above head or children at play with sand castles or smelling someone’s barbecue beef bones and smoking pots of corn burning nearby.

    Singing is fun in front of strangers. My voice, according to my relatives in Chicago, has a unique high and airy sound when I impressed them during an entertainment on their karaoke over there. Most Filipinos have a least one karaoke at home. I never did own one of those noise makers.

    Dancing is fun to the beat of deafening music under the glaring laser lights all around, while trying to act cool as an intoxicated person at the bar scene and pretending to like the smell of cigarettes blowing into my face when the more refined scent of cigars is more preferable to kiss, did not do me any justice. I, however, do not look graceful enough on the floor.

    Outdoor life seems full of adventure. And I wonder if I already missed out on too much in life while wondering if there is an audience who would care about what I have to say let alone what a picture of me could paint. I am perplexed that faceless strangers especially with online chatters barely have anything important to share.

    There seems to be the ability to empower oneself to expand the potential of human conditions outside the confines of indoor living or of inward musings but to know actual freedom from want and desire, from anger and pain, from fear and prejudice towards unconditional love.

    I tend to idealize and believe practicing unconditional love means living and sharing this truth every moment with others whether indoor or outdoors. There are different tools and techniques that are useful to improve one’s personal sphere and people who guide and who have been guided along this path of becoming nicer and of being wiser.

    Perhaps being indoors is as good as being outdoors because each one of us creates a comfort zone and a reality that others may share. I find that blogging is my first step in building self confidence and that finding a good travel agent and destination package is the next step; so I could take pictures of people and places outdoors and further blog about my experiences indoors.

    Copyright © FVDF. All rights reserved.

    Link to Flynn’s Daily Blogs

    Sunday March 26, 2006 – 05:05pm (PST) Edit | Delete | Permanent Link | 0 Comments

  • 20060326-Family Unit

    At the age of thirteen I knew that I didn’t belong to this bio-units unit. My views in life differed from theirs. We were the oldest relative in the United States and didn’t have anyone of them to rely on for help.

    So that meant I couldn’t be adopted into some other bio-units unit and was forced to stay with this one for whatever reasons. I was a spoiled brat but learned to overcome my slow evolution in this life time over the years.

    The lessons learned with this bio-units unit are fine for the meantime. And for those keeping up with my blogs know that there have been dramas going on with Brat, the only and oldest male first cousin on Paw’s left to move out the bio-units’ house.

    I happen to be the oldest first cousin on Paw’s side and will end up living the rest of my contented life in this already paid-off (1990) house (1976 models). (I think the house worth a lot now but prefer to know that my little nephew and nieces, if any, will be welcomed here to enjoy the place as much as we have).

    We kids are spoiled to this day and did whatever chores were needed around the house and garden. And if living was not this comfortable here in the suburbs of San Jose, CA Brat and I would have moved on with our personal lives years ago.

    I’ve seen our younger cousins having other issues with egoistic bio-units, being “cool” with the East Bay crowd and ended up moving on with their egoistic lives too. I see a distinct pattern here between bio-units and children, don’t you?

    I didn’t learn much on my own beyond these walls of home until recently through the outlet of the internet with various articles online and blogging right now. The television had much information during my growing years and recently stopped viewing the black box due to repeated themes of brainwashing events on popular cable news media.

    I find viewing the inner working mechanisms of our political bureaucracy on a couple of cable channels to be more educational once in awhile. And the speeches of the politicians are more carefully worded and eloquently spoken compared to the general media driven programming meant for seventh grade understandings.

    Anything related to history, fine arts, international films and educational programming in general is better to view once in awhile and I try to avoid the already predictable outcome of most heavily commercialized movies. I hardly go in those crap and darkly lit movie theaters.

    Brat is my other source of ‘real’ life interests and I have him to thank for sharing his happy moments with me such as his interest in video games and knowledge in computers, his hand models of various sorts cluttering up his bedroom and his insights of people he met, love that came and went and life about little things that didn’t matter in general.

    My bio-units still value their traditions for the sake keeping their bio-units unit together and share their basic wisdom of saving money for the rainy days, working hard to foster a sense self esteem and pride without depending on others for hand outs (like some ungrateful relatives I keep mentioning) and respecting the older folks because everyone will be old one day.

    What I have learned so far is that bio-units units are especially important to maintain. This provides stability in society and keeps children safe from those disgusting predators that prey upon and harm our future for humanity. Stable bio-units units also continue the cycle of passing good luck, happiness and joy from one generation to the next, from parent to children and from ancestors to descendants.

    Starting a life with the biological bio-units unit that fosters love is the ideal. People living in the same biological bio-units unit that doesn’t have the love matrix should be allowed to live with those who care enough to take their wards under their wings for protection and to continue the cycle of more loving bio-units units.

    Child protection services and adoption agencies do not seem to be working to the advantages of these children, who need places to stay and grow into loving individuals. I am dismayed at the slow progress and demand improvements right now and more financial support in this social arena. There are many souls behind these young eyes that have the opportunity to find their niche in society and not be left behind and forgotten in the endless papers and moving.

    I am thinking of adopting a nice bio-units, which may be Brats’ bio-units or some nice guy with cute kids, since I cannot stand the idea of making my own. I may produce at least one child in this lifetime with all that painful labor I’ve been hearing about from these women. I am an idealist and there is always room for love, especially when there are two extra rooms upstairs for those who need it now that Brat will be moving out. But those are two plans in the future.

    Copyright © FVDF. All rights reserved.

    Sunday March 26, 2006 – 02:49pm (PST) Edit | Delete | Permanent Link | 0 Comments

  • 20060326-Eat Now!

    Maw! When’s dinner?” I holler to her as my stomach grumbled in frustration. “I’m hungry! [Let’s] eat now!” In order to avoid upsetting the cook, I eat whatever she feeds her family. This cook does painstaking work to prepare each meal made with love and from the sweat of her brow. “Come and get it!” she replies.

    This verbal stimulus causes the salivation response and we’d all come “running” to the table. Well, except Paw because he tends to do other compulsive chores around the house before eating with the family.

    We are trained to eat together as a family unit. Each unit member had to assume the normal position and as it stands with Maw at the ‘head’ of the table and Paw to her right, with Brat and myself to his right and front, respectively. The Filipino culture is a matriarchal society, which allows the women free reign in decision-making especially around the house.

    Most Filipino dishes are meaty flavored drowned in tasty sauce. We seldom eat fresh salad and vegetables because the logic of Maw is to have the meals well cooked. There are some Filipino dishes that are similar to Vietnamese and Chinese cooking, such as bitter melon and fried rice, respectively. I guess I grow tired of eating Filipino food and am already too familiar with the American continental variety.

    All the food I seem to eat taste the same and bland, like tofu which I love. Anything too hot or spicy burns my tongue and mouth, including Indian food, which I could tolerate to a point. I’ve tried the exotic Ethiopian food, which is good to eat. However, it’s time for me to explore more tantalizing tastes out there.

    Our eating habits have been the normal three course meals, which I do not understand since today’s nuclear family unit of being on the go and eating out has replaced the traditional farming household of working the fields by pa and kids while attending the cooking and indoor activities by ma and kids.

    I often wonder why we need to eat in the first place. Eating is necessary to feed the metabolism of us warm-blooded mammals; while eating a well balance diet promotes a healthy human body. I wouldn’t miss a day without eating my favorites of all sorts, especially the kinds that would clog the arteries. I am not a picky eater.

    Since we have been blessed with all this abundance in foodstuff, the idea of bullying ourselves from the pleasures of feeding our emotional appetites is simply denial. I should not be this selfish and should share my scout cookies I bought with my hard earned pennies.

    My opinions on different cuisines are very limited and I do not offer any personal advice on which taste better from the other. Moreover, my sense of smell is limited and I cannot fully enjoy what more sensitive people experience when tasting broccoli or spinach. I happen to like both vegetables by the way.

    I figured I’d save some of what’s left of my money by staying at home and personally do not cook. That’s because, like I said in my prior blog somewhere, eating tastes much better when prepared by someone else with a more discerning palate.

    Besides, Maw cooks almost everyday and one doesn’t not argue with the cook. Maybe when and if I ever move from this house, I may actually cook what I like and lose the weight I’ve gained, which is understandingly from Maws cooking.

    She knows it’s not her cooking that makes me a bit thick today, it’s my hearty appetite. Both Paw and I happen to have inherited this trait from Lola Loose, who originally came from Bicol, one of thousands of provinces in the Philippines. This means there are several thousands of dialects as well as the types of food cooked by people there. The island is too diverse.

    This current arrangement does not help my evolving eating attitudes of avoiding any and everything the smells good from Maws kitchen. If I could stop eating altogether, I may have more time either to blog or to watch television. And yes, Shrimpsei, there is a television located near the dinner table.

    Copyright © FVDF. All rights reserved.

    Link to Flynn’s Daily Blogs

    Sunday March 26, 2006 – 03:48pm (PST) Edit | Delete | Permanent Link | 0 Comments