I greet Happy Mother’s Day to all mothers. Today has been quite an experience. My morning started out with the greetings of hugs, kisses and my card. About two hours later, Brat’s gift was pretty flowers in a ceramic tea pot of softly painted flowers.
We three had breakfast of coffee and plain toast and conversed about our experiences from yesterday with a belligerent relative and her twit husband of hers at the parking lot sale at Moffett Field, CA.
For over three decades, my bio-units and I have lived peacefully together in the South Bay without much interference from the boisterous lives of Paw’s paternal B@!!#!*$ bio-units. We tried to avoid any further dissension among our East Bay relatives.
We had thought all along that not arguing and keeping silent, which is typical of Paw maternal L@n#z bio-units, would have been the best solution. We were wrong. We realized that by hiding the truth only creates more confusion, hurt and resentment and by tolerating bad behavior would only fuel the self centered thinking of always being right.
Yesterday, we learned a hard lesson in life. There is no justice served when confronted by nasty people who are allowed to continue the path of harsh intentions towards anyone regardless. In my opinion, there is no hope for these kinds of people who have already gone too far to accept accountability for wrongs done in the past.
There were relatives prior to us who have experienced the same unfortunate effect of meanness from this same ‘black sheep’ of the bio-units. Yesterday’s phone call to the relatives living in Florida had provided us a simple solution: give back what she has brought upon us.
So today, Paw finally confronted his younger sister who has been notorious for hurting her bio-units and with her mean-spirited ways all her life. His goal was to scold her severely for trespassing on his bio-units yesterday.
She verbally belittled both Maw and me on federal property. I am assuming that she is now being watched for making a public scene and for touching both Maw and me in the first place.
He tried to pull her aside so no one else could interfere with his Taurus rage that has been suppressed for over three decades. I imagined the great hurt of Paw received after he learned of the sister’s callous responses to Maw.
Instead of the kind of compassionate reassurance, such as that Paw will do well after Wednesday’s procedure or we will visit him later, this ICU nurse of all sort blamed Maw for high stress and bad diet as being the reason for Paws’ condition.
The lost sheep somehow got loose from his grip the second time; screamed to everyone at the party that she had to leave right away; grabbed her purse that was in clear view in front of me and near where old granny was sitting; and, in her dress and high heels, ran out of the nursing home in a desperate attempt to flee from the truth that awaited her fate.
The verbal assaults by her towards a great grand person, her own parents and siblings have not stopped. Today should be for her to reassess her crazed claim of being sinless as a server at her local church of St. Anne and a mouth piece for peace with prayers.
As the belligerent left the building, Paw then screamed at the twit husband to tell his wife that she is bastos, or nasty in Filipino. Paw was visibly shaking from anger as he drank his bottled water received by a nice sister-in-law.
After the coast was cleared of the two aunties, the same sister-in-law and I went outside to get Maw waiting inside the Benz. Maw sobbed in the arms of my uncle while his wife offered comfort of bottled water.
Maw revealed to him all the anguish experienced by the aunties and my uncle too had enough but promised Maw not to do anything drastic. I got misty eyed at the cruelty that people should not have to experience.
The nice couple helped me take Maw inside a few minutes after the sobbing subsided so she could use the restroom. This example is no doubt that being together is important when there is a clear need for comfort and reassurance.
What struck me the most today is, that in spite of the hard realities of life, the day has been filled with lots of goodness all around. The wispy clouds of sylphs were floating in the skies of blue; the renewed hope of not being mistreated by the likes of ignorant relatives; and the happiness of old granny and Maw being together.
Our time at the nursing home was briefly spent with the ongoing party at around noontime. I greeted and took pictures of those present but did not greet the two aunties, who left within five minutes of our arrival. Everyone seemed to enjoy the old granny, the food, two balloons and one large card.
Paw confronted two younger brothers and one elder sister to found out if there are ill feelings towards him or my bio-units. No one dared to admit if there was anything negative to say to this man.
I cried inside the bathroom after seeing Paw’s teary eyed request of Gigolo to look after the three of us if something should happen on his upcoming procedure this Wednesday. As a token of my appreciation for supporting for us in the past and at the request of Maw, I wrote a check out as a retirement gift to my uncle.
At 02:15PM, we logged old granny out of the nursing home. To both Paw and my surprise, our entry seemed to have been the fifth since her stay last December 2005. There were entries for Dec 24, Feb 12, April 14 and April 18. I am ashamed that my East Bay relatives who live nearby don’t take old granny to go out more frequently.
Although I live forty five minutes away, I vowed to take my last grand out every week. At Brat’s suggestion, we will take her out to see ducks swimming on a lake. This would be her first time to see such beauty in nature outdoors and with people (that’s us helpful ones, by the way) who would understand her needs.
She remembers all our names, is quite fastidious and knows how to make jokes about being old women. She laughs easily with my parents who know about connecting with slower and older folks. To the best of my Tagalog, a Filipino dialect, I made old granny laugh too.
At 03:00PM, we brought old granny to a McDonald’s restaurant near our area. She and her hearty Bicol appetite ate a helping the size of a kid’s meal. I made sure to fill Paw’s place mat with fries and nuggets so as to make old granny feel her son is being well feed, which is true.
For six times in a row and probably due to some slight senility, old granny kept mentioning that this meal is also her supper. She did not want to impose on us to spend too much on her.
Old granny admitted we were the only ones that would spend money while taking her out to eat. With Maws clever suggestion of a ‘free’ sandwich given by the restaurant on Mother’s Day, old granny bought back supper.
Although old granny is very quiet, a bit slow and has sentiments running high at the fact she is in a nursing home, she does not wish to be a burden to the bio-units. This shows that the old lady has sense and understands her surroundings.
The time spent with my grandmother has made Maw happy. Both mothers talked and had their feet up on Maws bed while watching television. This was a delightful moment that I took their picture together.
We logged old granny back into the nursing home around 05:45PM and sat in her room a few more minutes at her request. She squeezed Maws knees and hands as if she didn’t want to let her go. I finally signed the card after old granny pointed out the purpose of the blue marker pen.
I believe old granny has intellect somewhere when given the chance. She actually read out loud to the three of us my written message in English: Happy Mother’s Day Inay! May your day be blessed with the ones who love and remember you… Love: Paw, Maw, Flynn, Brat and Twit.
But we had to leave and her eyes welled up with tears as she kissed her son goodbye. She slowly got up from her seat; scooted her walker in the direction of the exit and blessed us twice in crucifix fashion with her right hand as she looked through the windows with sad eyes.
The example of treating the old people nicely today has shown me that there can be nothing wrong with old people. Older people may have misdeeds in the past but what I heard and seen from this old lady is the lack of freedom to make choices in her life.
Our paths could not have crossed at a better time in this lifetime. We have learned to enjoy today without the emotional baggage of the growing years. This is not charity but is the truth of being together to make love possible no matter how far away we both live.
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Sunday May 14, 2006 – 11:11pm (PDT) Edit | Delete | Permanent Link | 0 Comments