Overall, I am a nice person but also a great sucker for people without the means to help themselves. I happen to attract those in need maybe in part because that is what I prayed to fulfill. Thanks a lot, Lord! And for whatever reason, certain guys with puppy dog eyes and sob stories want my help. And I am talking about financial assistance.
I do not understand my purpose in this current lifetime at all. I may be insane to believe anyone who would offer me happiness forever or the road to success. I may be too altruistic to understand that some people exist to take advantage of innocent and unsuspecting persons, like me. I simply cannot lie either and have given a local, homeless lady near my bank a 20.00USD note, which I worked hard to earn. I’m nuts, I know.
I think my failure is to simply say, ‘No!’ Enough is enough! Or I do not have anything for you right now! Please go away, you losers! It is difficult to refuse anyone in need especially when my mindset is to spare whatever I could help out with after paying my already high monthly bills to fulfill the basic needs of putting food on the table, clothing my beautiful and slightly overweight self and housing my long, curly black locks from the outside environmental conditions.
Listen folks: If anyone needs help whatsoever, please go to the bank and pay the highly sinful interest that goes along with the deal. One could avoid any embarrassment and perhaps earn a sense of pride knowing the best has been done to get out of any mess, if created by one’s past mistakes or failures.
I have seen family, friends and relatives run away from this one co-worker who continues to pester me for financial help as a last resort. Gee, I wonder why! I have my stupid relatives up in the East Bay area to confront for referring me to him, who is not related by blood in any way (as I have mentioned in my earlier and now deleted blogs.) They claim I have all this money saved up for staying rent free with my parents. This is false because if I had all the money in the world I wouldn’t be stuck in this dead end job. Duh!
The point is not to take personal issues into a working environment. It is quite disruptive and my concentration has been affected because of his financial problems. I do not wish to work at this place any longer knowing my company continues to keep these kinds of people around. But because I cannot afford to leave, I am forced to work hard honestly and like a slave in this economic system as a data entry clerk, which does not pay much.
P.S. It says in the ‘Babel’, ‘owe no-one!’ His self proclaimed background in ‘churchianity’ should have been drilled into his head by now with regards to this particular Biblical passage, which helps reduce the risk of hurting each other in the end. And everyone should realize, I am not a bank or a banker either. I know my heart is good enough to help but not quite discerning to avoid the pitfalls of ego of trying to play Miss Nice Sucker.
P.S.S. Someone please help me stop being such a nice sucker! But no one would rescue me from myself or could help me in my quest to help people find their own peace of mind. I am all alone, it seems!
P.S.S.S. Please do not use ‘God’ in vain. It is not nice to claim you are doing ‘God’s’ work. ‘God’ does NOT take sides either. These happen to be my subjective truths, by the way. I mean no offense whatsoever.
Copyright © 2007 by Fluffy von der Flynn. All rights reserved.
