Topic #13: List who you’d want to see in a Dream Team presidential cabinet. Feel free to include non-politicians, too. There’s enough of those in Washington already.
Fat Albert
As President: Fat Albert was cool as a fellow black brother but also was a good leader to his neighborhood gang, always a moral booster. That’s the ticket!
Mother Teresa
As Vice President: Mother Teresa would cover as another kind soul to lead the nation in case something happens to Fat Albert in his overeating binges late at night.
Jolly Green Giant
As Secretaries of Agriculture: Surely, the Jolly Green Giant could make sure all the food that we are eating won’t be tainted with GMO and other unpronounceable ingredients. Since he is mostly plant, I’m sure he would outlaw the eating of meat altogether and anything not Kosher. A new day for animals has arrived!
Dr. Evil
As Commerce: Dr. Evil doesn’t know the value between a million from a gazillion. As a number cruncher, he could pull any number from out of thin air and still be wealthy.
G.I. Joe
As Defense: I was thinking of Rambo, six times. But G.I. Joe has been around so long that although he is plastic, it takes a person with thick, green-colored skin (or scales) to be able to kill another human being.
Dorkboy
As Education: A guru with all the wisdom and knowledge of the known universe would finally teach young and impressionable minds the truth — how to live life to the fullest and to be the best soul, too! Everything else could be passed down from different family heritages.
Shazam
As Energy: Shazam would serve well teaching the moral values of those damn, stinking hippies about environmental issues and be a draw forth the lightening bolts to power the houses, too! SHAZAM!
Dr. Moreau
As Health and Human Services: Since people are pretty much like animals, pooping and laying waste to everything and everywhere, Dr. Moreau would experience of people and/or animals to find the right combination of cooperative genes that know how to take care of the planet and each other.
Robocop
As Homeland Security: Robocop is part robot and human being. His exoskeleton would provide not only protection to self and computer software to determine lawfulness but his humanity from the inside would be a better judge on whether or not to arrest a innocent victim of a would-be crime.
Granpa Juan
As Housing and Urban Development: My late maternal granpa Juan would make cabinet member. He knew how to build houses, do plumbing, electricity and other tools to get the job done. He has built a swimming pool to capture spring water from the top of the mountain, now damned up by the Kalayaan Hydroelectric Power Plant. He and his late eldest son Arsenio built up the town, too.
Macgyver
As Interior: Macgyver is the ever-resourceful television character and knew how to get out of danger without much injury to self or others. This person excels in life-and-death crisis and is still good-looking, too!
Preggers
As Labor: Preggers know what it’s like to be in labor and passing the size of a bowling ball. It’s hard work! Plus, the children become the state’s property and therefore pay taxes even before they are born. Preggers have the ability to nag and thus create jobs for her family – doing dishes and laundry, cleaning the house, garden and cars and taking out the trash. Allowances are granted to those who pull their own weight to get the jobs done.
Reptilian
As State: A reptoid can either make or break wars. They are part of the NWO conspiracy to control the planet under one ideology, one government and one religion. They will reduce the population of humans, including animals, if necessary. The few elitists will then divide the planet into zones. Recently RFID tagged slaves will have no escape. Resistance is futile.
Scotty
As Transportation: “Scotty! Beam me up!” With that technological wonder, people would be able to free themselves from the dependency on petroleum and actually travel space to distant planets. I believe the stargates are in effect this very moment but only to the few.
Leprechaun
As Treasury: The Leprechaun has his pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. The stockpiles are really underground. Only a kind-hearted soul would be able to help the creep get his gold out without that precious metal losing his yellow shine.
Lieutenant Dan Taylor
As Veterans Affairs: Lieutenant Dan Taylor knew what it was like to fight in a war, loose both his legs and eventually made piece with God. His battle wounded soul healed and was able to turn his PTSD into something endearing — shrimping.
E.T.
As Attorney General: E.T., though small in stature, has lots of his friends up in space. They would land their spaceships and provide all the legal support necessary to mete out justice in the best possible and quickest way ever. These extraterrestrials are highly advanced and smarter, too.
