Prompted November 23, 2008
Defend your vice.
How did you start? Why would you quit?
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I started hating my self image during my growing years. I never felt comfortable in my body.
Always slouching my shoulders to hide my bosoms. Never putting makeup because I looked more like an overmade clown. Never did my hair but wash and wear because it went wherever it wanted.
And wore the wrong clothes for my height and body type and the wrong shoes for my long and wide feet. Dresses made me feel more conscious as I sought to hide more imperfections with pants. You see my legs are bowed and pale in color too!
All the dents and ding came with burning, picking, shaving and waxing of the hair and bleaching of my farmer’s tan unsuccessfully. Frankly, my facial features are not standard to today’s beautiful women as shown on the covers of any magazines.
During my middle age crisis, I’ve stopped looking at myself as ugly. I started looking at the mirror and accepted that I’m still ugly but something else beautiful was supposed to come out. But inside is also an ugly person and that’s another story. The range of ugliness can labeled from the seven vices (of Christianity):
- wrath (I get angry easily),
- envy (I want to be on top, too),
- greed (TPTB knows),
- gluttony (I love eating),
- sloth (I really don’t want to work hard for the money),
- pride (I like being on top, too), and
- despair (because I could never be PERFECT and no one would ever see it MY WAY)!
I would quit when I find peace with my self image. That battle has not yet been won. No one could make me feel like a `million coconuts`. It’s something that I need to overcome by myself.
