Matthew 19 (King James Version)
21Jesus said unto him, If thou wilt be perfect, go and sell that thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come and follow me.
At the age of 32, I gave everything I had ever owed – mainly money. Fast forward ten years, I do not foresee “hording” the same money that may never materialize because it was “too good to be true”. And although I’ve asked for it in return many times in the past and at this point in time, I’ve come to realize that I don’t really want it but would rather prefer to have the “blessing” filter back to its rightful owners – somehow, someway.
Tonight, Maw recanted many stories from her childhood. Her Paw “Juan” and her eldest brother “Arsenio” were well known in the small town as having helped many people from far and wide (and from the mountains, too) without repayment – from building water lines and houses for relatives to cross-training relatives and strangers alike on how to build, calculate and engineer and their making a business of selling self-threaded pipes for water projects.
I see now that I must start over, go forward and without looking back – to forgive and to forget. To Pete and TPTB, it’s okay. I’ve made my peace. You are free to enjoy and spend whatever you’ve managed to raise for whatever reasons. I’ll just continue as my ancestors once did – say, speak and hear no evil. We don’t complain. We don’t fight in public. It’s all about being there for each other in times of need. I only regret refusing to help a couple of times because I got laid-off from C!sc*. I know that is the truth. And as quoted for a Biblical passage in the beginning of this blog entry.
Of course, I’m not perfect (as my blog does descriptively portrays). The treasures were already within – my FRUSTRATED soul. I just didn’t acknowledge that existence and what was lacking in me was never diminished by outwardly giving but by today’s brightly shining sunshine. The afternoon was breath-taking as I spoke with the Securitas guard who asked me many times today: “How [was] I doing”? Bless him and everyone else for the kind greetings. I’ll have to learn to smile and greet more often in return.