Flynn's Paws: My Thoughts, My Gripes

Month: October 2010

  • Left Side

    Tonight, we left early for this evening’s mass in the hopes of finding parking, which we did and in the disabled or handicapped parking. We got a chance to see the church festival being held in the back parking lot, just behind the school. And we saw Filipino dancing, which I took videos and photos. I’ll upload and share those later on, if I’m not too lazy.

    While sitting bored in the middle third of the pew, I notice that my section is empty. I imagined that my other half is right there. Unfortunately to this day, my other half is nowhere to be my punching bag or my fighting pillow. Instead, I’ve got thin air – an emptiness of atoms – for breathing in.

  • Cherub Puffs

    Tonight, I see high-altitude, popcorn clouds. I was closing the blinds to my bedroom when I looked up into the indigo-colored night skies. My mind saw little smiling cherubs with little locks of curly hair. It’s always a pleasant surprise to receive heart-warming imagery like that on a cool, still night and after eating Chinese food with the old farts, who are after all my saviors from being homeless.

  • Go Die

    So Maw was crying. Waah! Waah! She forgot to take her “happy pills” to balance out the hormones.

    And this is all because she couldn’t get the help she wanted from me – to help her turn on the stupid television. You know what? People like her shouldn’t own a television, let alone operate a remote control. That’s how dumb these people are. Sorry but I see myself getting dumb in many areas, too.

    Essentially, I ignored her and brought down the laundry to wash. I greeted the parakeets. Lo and behold, she started hollering from upstairs.

    “You don’t go with us. Only Dad and me! You are mean/”

    I’m like fine, b!tch. People told me you are mean and crazy. Gee, where do you suppose I got that trait? Hey, I’m old and I don’t care, too. I learned that from you Maw!

    You know what? You can die, too, with your husband. Because all of us are putting up with each other until I get out of your sorry lives. We are just trying to get along together under this one roof but it won’t change the expectations of my being independent.

    Then she came back indoors from the garage and started ranting again. I believe that is how her siblings, like the late Uncle Florene, handled their emotions: Blow hot air and steam EVERY FRIGGIN’ day and then blame the other person. Hey! This sounds familiar – like everyone else I’ve encountered – blaming an external force. You know what? Good riddance. Enjoy the rest of the day, old farts!

    Anyway, she went on to say:

    “That’s why parents don’t like to live with their children. Because when the parents need something, the children are not there for them! After all the good we’ve done, we are taken advantage of and this is what we got! You’re rich! Go ahead and live by yourself. I dare you!”

    You know what? It’s the same line for most of her life. That is so true. It’s your karma for being a b!tch. She got money to make her and her husband happy for all I care. If I had my money, you wouldn’t see me living in the Bay Area!

    After living with these two, I’m sick of them, too. That’s why there is a senior living assistance and the nursing home awaiting for them and all of us.

    I was merely testing her – to see if she knows how to move on with her sorry life. She is on her last leg and nerve. This was another test for me. And as usual, I failed to teach her to STOP WATCHING TELEVISION. She loves noise for some reason.

    The other time I got mad and had to shut the stupid noise from the radio. It was blaring loudly. She got mad at me in return. No wonder Paw couldn’t get mad at her. She nuts!

    Maw needs anger management. That’s all. Everyone is short-circuiting. It’s too bad that the price for security, living free in this damn house.

    And yesterday she suggested that I fix the roof to the house, if I had money, which would never be returned because of you, Pete! You know what? Damn you, all. She told us by citing an example of the Chinese living behind us. They spent $50,000 for a new roof.

    Right there, I don’t give a damn.

    So to all of you with problems, go die. Please. It’s easier for all of us that you keep your problems to yourselves. Sometimes it’s supposed to be that way. And there’s nothing we could do about it. I’ve read somewhere:

    “What do you want me to do about it?”

    Heh!

  • Popping Veins

    Shape-shifters. I’ve seen them and they seem harmless enough as if they meant to say: “I’m here! Let’s play!” So after viewing blog twice again tonight and seeing that still-shot on a YouTube.com video about porn stars being reptilians, I cannot help but wonder if the tall guy is one in disguise.

    During lunch on Wednesday with Steve’s surprise visit, Mike was laughing and conversing with his usual ways. I stared at his skulls and thought to myself: “I wonder if he is reptilian, too.” Then of course from all the laughing, the veins started popping out from his skull in an angle, starting slightly above the eye brown on the inside and up towards the middle and angling off to the top left of his skull.

    He was leaning forward on the table in front of me and started smoothing down his forehead area with his right hands, the same hands I wanted to hold just to comfort him and exchange energy of all sorts (snickering). It didn’t bother me that the guys were talking with each other. I learned to hush while chewing food to avoid choking, too.

  • Sunshine Love

    At around 6:00pm or so, I left work. As I drove off, I saw the sunset through the open windows of my car. The sun was VERY big but not bright enough to hurt the eyes. There was a mistiness of yellow hue spreading out. It was as if I could “step-through” and into the sun. I should have taken a quick photo but have the image etched into my mind.

    As I drove SLOWLY away from the cul-de-sac, I said several times rather aloud to myself:

    “I love you sunshine!”

    During my lunch walk around 12:30pm, I barely rounded the corner from the back parking lot and away from the cul-de-sace. And I remembered to “keep my promise”, which I did at around 6:44pm tonight. (Yeah, I know. This is another example of double-digits occurring randomly).

    But I was already FREEZING cold from being indoors at work with the air conditioner turned on TOO COLD for me! By stepping outdoors I was able to warm my body and give hope to my mind with the sunshine out. Around I went to the eBay area in a clockwise direction and on my return circuit, I decided to take the sidewalk with more shades.

    There was a soccer match going on to me left, like yesterday. It was the second time the SHIRTLESS players blinded me with their beauty. But they were too far off into the field and mostly near Highway 101 to boot. Lots of ASIANS were walking around too. They were mostly men.

    So it seems that I’m in love with being in love. And the sunshine is the next best thing to love.

  • Not “EGG”

    It was the year 2001 and I got a phone call from an American Expresseters representative. It was a financial investment team. And they seemed very enthusiastic about my interest. Of course, I had nothing at that time but visited the place in downtown Campbell, CA. It was near my work a few years earlier.

    Two guys were on the team. Several more were scrambling in the back. One of the guy was a brunette. The other one looked like an exact replica of Landy! I was thinking clone at that time.

    So I was brought into a room towards the back. It had dark wooden panels and a discussion went on by the brunette mostly. I don’t remember much but wanted to get moving with my life. But as you’ve read, TPTB won’t allow my HARD – EARNED pennies to manifest into my f^ck!ng wallet!

    Anyway, the brunette guy asked me along the line:

    “Which is more important in your retirement, the chicken or the eggs?”

    I answered without much thinking and with equal enthusiasm:

    “The chicken!”

    The two looked at each other unbelievably so after I repeated my answer twice or thrice, thinking they’ve not heard me.

    The brunette guy responded in a long story:

    “It’s the egg.”

    In the back of my mind, I imagined him following up his thoughts with: “You moron”.

    Why did my answer resulted in “the chicken” and not “the egg“? You know the story: “The Goose That Laid The Golden Egg“. Well, that’s what I had in my mind when I was being asked what I wanted to do for my retirement.

    That’s the truth. It’s the chicken that came first then the egg. The chicken eats, sleeps and lays the eggs. The citizens, too, eat, sleep and put their eggs into one retirement basket. One is the former – vibrant and productive. The other is the latter – listless and impotent.

    Therein exists a lie: The extraterrestrials claimed that it’s the egg that came first. Theoretically and scientifically, that sounds valid. But without a parent, there is no egg. Likewise without a God, there is no existence.

    As for the “EGG“, did the Templars come first and then the Freemasons, ergo the “chickens” who are running scared as I blog? If “Everything is Going Great”, why are people still starving?

  • No Nothing

    Well, it’s October. And I still don’t know the details. I’m not surprised why he hasn’t called. Why? He keeps throwing me the “EGG”, the kind that seems to rot with age. While I love the aromatic, sulfuric smell of garlic and onion in the air and in my food, there is no “good news” whatsoever from this old man.

    And frankly he doesn’t seem to give a damn because TPTB’s got him. How do I know? He called twice one time, for example. It’s an old trick – a hostage crisis. I see and hear it all the time! There was nothing I could do at that time because I got laid-off and was living on my savings, which went away for good cause because of my personal mission to right the wrong.

    Again, I’m seeing a recurring theme in another story – starvation and homelessness. It would appear that karmic debt is playing its role well with everyone. And apparently, there seems to be no escape. Time and time again, I grow weary to see one crisis after another crisis surface like rising water, ready to drown its next victim.

    When will all this madness end? Will no one else help to throw these fools a life preserver? I guess the outcome would be when everyone is happy or dead, whichever comes first. Either way, I’ve learned nothing, except noise makes me angry.

  • 20101001-Prayer Journal

    Evening Prayer

    Saturday, October 2, 2010

    O my guardian angel!
    Let my soul be placed in your charge,
    and when it has gone forth
    from the prison of this body,
    deliver it into the hands
    of its creator and redeemer,
    that with you and all the saints,
    it may gaze upon God in the bliss of heaven,
    love God perfectly and find its blessedness
    in God throughout eternity. Amen.

    — St. Charles Borromeo

  • Sharing Settings

    Whoo! Hoo! I’m trying the “Sharing Settings” feature of WordPress.com. As a result of this discovery, I managed to free up one sidebar widget – “AddThis” and bump an extra sidebar widget – “Google translate” to the bottom bar instead! Now the side bar looks cleaner with one “Search bar” on the very top, followed by my “Blogroll” links below.

    —

    Available Services

    Drag and drop the services you’d like to enable into the box below.

    Add a new service

    [The available buttons are: Digg, Facebook, Reddit, StumbleUpon, Twitter, Email, Press This and Print. I used the “Add a new service” link to add my “AddThis” button and my RSS feeds for posts and comments.]

    —

    Enabled Services

    Services dragged here will appear individually.

    [It’s a small white button with a light-blue colored plus sign to the left of the word “Share”. Your services with appear underneath in a drop-down menu. This feature only works if you have Java enabled! Otherwise, clicking this button doesn’t link anywhere!]

    —

    Live Preview

    [This section allows the admin to view how their buttons will look underneath each post AND/OR page.]

    —

    Show a like button and who has liked my post on all of my blog posts above the comments section.

    [By checking the box to the left of this sentence, a small white box will contain a yellow star  to the left of the word “Like”. The hover message is “I like this post.” To the outside of the box and on the right are the words: “Be the first to like this post.”]

    —

    Default button style:

    • Icon + text
    • Icon only
    • Text only

    —

    Sharing label:

    [The words “Share this:” is the default message. I over-rode this field and replace those words with the following catchy one: “Click me!’”]

    —

    Open link in:

    • New window
    • Same window

    [The “Same window” is the default.]

    —

    Show sharing buttons on:

    • Posts and index pages
    • Posts only
    • Index pages only

    [The “Post only” is the default.]

    —

    [Save Changes].

    [Don’t forget to save changes. However, whenever you move your buttons with the “Enabled Services” section, that stuff is saved automatically. But you are free to click the “Save Changes” button on the bottom of this “general option” page.]

    —

    Check out my posts and/or pages now and start sharing or else, I’ll be an unhappy blogger! Waahh!

  • Noticing Guys

    I notice too that the guys I happen to encounter WANT something, which is usually sex, food, fun AND money. Certain guys have a peculiarity that I cannot explain – from similar looks, fashion, humor, mannerism to energy signature, philosophy and worldviews.

    I’m not sure where I’m going with this one – almost as if the network (albeit TPTB) set us up to meet others for purposes that is still unknown to me. Honestly, I don’t regret meeting these strangers, most of who have silently disappeared and without the emotional baggage or drama, too.

    I happen to have enjoyed the companies of those encounters, even if the relationships were, well, off and on, meaning one-night stands to no more than one year. Hah! And yes, that is how I stay young – avoiding cooties and conversation, which can RAISE my blood pressure due to stress – an aging factor. People don’t know I’m an old fart because I have no wrinkles but freckles and such.

  • Patting Age

    Bigger tummy. That is what happens when people age and don’t get enough exercise, like sit-ups. The fat accumulates in the lower regions and everywhere else. We women tend to get more fat in the “pooch” area. which is the lower abdomen. I have one unfortunately and don’t see it going away.

    On Wednesday’s VERY hot lunch walk, I noticed how Mike patted his tummy (a slight bulge) with a familiar gentleness of his boney hands. Like Landy (who is now well into his sixties), he too carried himself with a slight hunch in his shoulders and yes patted his tummy, too, in a similar fashion. Landy wanted to have rock-hard abs with cuts, just like back in his high school days.

    Maybe one day we older folks will get a chance to have flat bellies, just like our teenage years!