20230914-1845. No, seriously, I do NOT walk or run. Usually, my elderly father and I would walk thirty minutes outdoors around the shrine after we visit the graves, where we clean our family memorial and pray for mommy. These visitations would occur at least twice a month. Now it’s just once a month or whenever we feel like walking together. So in total I only walk thirty minutes at least once a month. The rest of the times would be getting up from the computer to use the toilet or while doing house chores, such as cooking and cleaning.
Month: September 2023
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Nope not enough charismatic points
20230908-1241. Unfortunately, I do NOT see myself as a leader. Although I noticed one time that during a lockdown at high school, a bunch of my classmates would follow me around for whatever reason.
In the past, mommy used to be the leader and cook of the family and so I looked up after her for direction and guidance to help her with medical needs, cooking, and cleaning, too.
I noticed that since I’m the eldest cousin that everyone ignores since we live in the South Bay while the rest live in the North Bay, that one cousin is probably still looking up to me outta hierarchy.
Y’all see Chill, my younger brother and I used to grow up a little together and we had some fond memories. My detailed memories of the pasts are empty and probably due to trauma and past events are brought up only with old photos.
She has been trying to connect with us recently during parties but my elderly father is also NOT seeing that she still is holding to a “family” she once knew.
She already lost her parents to old age. She’s the only other close cousin that I know that is an “orphan”; though she is middle-age like me.
Cousin Chill is a leader just like my younger brother. Both are VERY charismatic among family and friends.
Unfortunately, I turned out to be dumb/dense/slow just like my daddy – and too ugly (probably which is why I never dated a guy or ever will get hitched/married). For y’all see the “eldest” child of the family DOES take up after the father; while the “second” child tends to reflect the mother and so on down with other mixtures.
That’s all. End of blogging. 20230908-1250.
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Nah is my favorite word
20230908-1238. I’m taking up after my elderly father. You know, like father, like daughter; since I’m still living with him and have NOT moved outta this OLD house or EVER will! He has a son but he is married without children and has his own mortgage and friends to brag about his accomplishments.
So whenever I would converse with dad I would usually respond with a nah, an easier form of negative or nope, nada, nothing, or “no”. It’s really NOT my favorite but it’s commonly used. I really do NOT have a favorite word.
That’s all. End of blogging. 20230908-1240.
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Nothing this evening
20230908-1236. I’m getting five days ahead of these daily writing prompts. But for this evening, it’s nothing outta the ordinary or just the usual stuff, such as blogging and viewing videos or news feeds.
That’s all. End of blogging. 20230908-1237.
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Lack of remorse or denial
20230908-1222. Someone who doesn’t apologize or least try to attempt to be sincerely remorseful means something is wrong with that person. This would be killers of the worse sorts.
I know such as person who would deny responsibility or denial ever saying or doing something or not remembering an event or persons involved.
I believe this person might have split personalities from past emotional traumas or brain injuries – twice from bicycle crashes and with his helmet on! Or simple, he’s a Gemini – a twin of the same lot!
I’m NOT afraid of losing family and friends over irreconcilable differences or over someone who is too busy to stay in contact over a missed phone call yesterday, for example.
(He probably heard my telepathic thoughts yesterday that I was freaking busy trying to live a “normal” life doing household activities, such as cleaning/boiling raw chicken, washing/steaming white rice, washing/drying dishes, cleaning out/refilling my water distiller, eating lunch, drinking coffee, returning my Amazombie product, mailing my signed policy delivery receipt for whole life advanced planning.
What I’m afraid for is any person losing its sense of self or soul or will to survive while stuck on this hellish planet. That’s a red flag. But alas, I was assigned as a maiden servant leading a “sympathetic” ear without my natural instincts or empathic chip fully activated to these MGTOWs for all it’s worth.
That’s all. End of blogging. 20230908-1235.
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Busy doing nothing
20230908-1212. That’s what my dad would joke to his younger brother who recently passed away this June 2023 – due to emphysema from being a chain smoker and alcoholic.
I’m busy doing nothing. And so it is with me – busy doing nothing and being a lucky person – secured for life until SHTF: you know, like the calm before the storm.
My ideal week could be described as calm and relax. Mornings would be making DARK coffee which I must stop due to heart palpitations. Afternoons would be preparing lunch and doing dishes. Evenings would be preparing supper and doing dishes.
In between would be cooking, cleaning, laundering, and driving my elderly father to his appointments. I would schedule appointments, check my emails, text messages, and other news feeds.
I’d play a volunteer reporting spams and post comments about nothing important. I would blog and create meaningless memes.
Sometimes I’d talk to the parakeets who have been VERY quiet mostly: I wonder why. I vacuum their feathers and seeds and clean out their bottom tray every day.
Then I’d try to find time to listen to my KJV audio books at least one hour per day: I’m failing this curriculum. Daily I’d pray.
That’s all. End of blogging. 20230908-1218.
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I don’t follow professional athletes
20230908-1208. The way I see professional athletes is similar to professional orators, like politicians, who are bought and paid for by TPTB and palz and probably use drugs anyways to “function” normally and perform their stressful jobs.
So I don’t follow any of these characters but I do respect their hard work and dedication. I mean, who would want to risk sport injuries and be disabled for the rest of one’s life for a career that only professional would dare endeavor?
I’m wondering how does a soul decide to be a wrestler, a boxer, or any close contact sport professionals, such as mixed martial arts? For me, that’s hard core.
That’s all. End of blogging. 20230908-1211.
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I can’t relax
20230908-1201. I do NOT know how to relax. I’m trying to get rid of my last DARK ground coffee. I’ll need to by another half and half organic milk. I don’t use sugar. And I already finished my honey and vanilla extract.
I don’t meditate because I refuse to allow unknown dark entities/forces to enter my lack of knowing and understanding. I don’t do yoga – EVER – because Hinduism is infused by demonic posturing.
However, I try to do simple TaiChi exercises but I’m NOT near enough the repetition to raise my heart rate, which is necessary to push out the bodily toxins.
I do try to give thanks and praise to GOD and say prayers silently. That’s how I relax. I do try to listen to my KJV audio book but according to our favorite podcaster, falling asleep is “caused” by demonz which effectively prevent us “Christians” from knowing and understanding “Scriptures”.
That’s all. End of blogging. 20230908-1207.
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Give up the word fuck
Daily writing promptIf you had to give up one word that you use regularly, what would it be?20230908-1139. I noticed reptoids or reptilians tend to have potty mouths. One such charter made me cry after the second and third phone calls back in May 2023.
He used the words “fuck” many times during his live shows and his personal calls avec moi.
I’m surrounded by mean and nasty “toids” and their “demonz” spilling over and into my isolated, err, insulated incarnated experiences as a humanized female.
I’ve learned the word “fuck” during my fifth grade schooling. She was a dark-skinned Filipino/Ilocano dialect. My parents visited her parents one day. She disclosed to me in her own bedroom that day that she “fucked” a guy. It was her first time.
I did NOT understand what the word “fuck” meant at that time. She smiled and told me: Man, you don’t understand our language. After that disclosure, her younger brother Glenn overheard her conversation and ratted her out to their parents.
I guess her father and outta his anger punished her by cutting her hair shorter than her shoulders. The “haircut” was uneven and in wide chunks.
So I’d really wish our favorite podcaster avoid the word “fuck” as I’ve been absorbing empathically his frustrations and that frustration is manifesting into my daily conversation or language with my only audience, my elderly father, who does NOT like that guy because of his potty mouth.
That’s all. End of blogging. 20230908-1146.
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Forgive us our debt-debtors
20230908-1124. Mat-006-012 † And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. KJV.
Once again, and as expressed to our favorite podcaster in one audio call, I mumbled under my breath something along the line that: there are stuff that I have to take to my grave.
Anyways, the spooky spook agents should know my profile and files by now and if THEY would dare to see that a bunch of politicians (for real deal) owe me lots of stash.
Per the horses mouth via a cellphone call and into my itchy earhole many slong years ago, he said: I promise. You’ll be an associate. You’ll be a happy woman.
Fast forward, I’ve encountered lots of vagueness by lots of these MGTOWs. And this intentional non-disclosure is probably for my protection and yours (if y’all are still reading my personal rants here after over 20 years).
Yeah, so that is my biggest grudge. But per our favorite daily messenger, his blog post suggested that I take up my grudge to the Holy Spirit. I’m humbled but mostly embarrassed for conflict between my selfishness versus my selflessness.
To this day, I have to keep my silence to stay alive. I’ve foregone my happiness, peace of mind, and freedom for security. I’m like other “Christians” who do NOT really have meaningful work just to survive on essentials such as food, gas, and rent.
I’m now forced into ministry work (too) – a dangerous spiritual journey if I ever reach my full potential, which I probably won’t because I’m NOT practicing effectively. I was trying my best to avoid Scriptures but I’ve opted to yeet demonz based on my incarnation. (I kinda sorta know my station or ward.)
That’s all. End of blogging. 20230908-1137.
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By plane or by car
Daily writing promptShare a story about the furthest you’ve ever traveled from home.20230905-0017. The farthest that I’ve ever traveled from home would be by plane. Twice I visited the Philippines. Twice I got ill from inhaling the cooties of the recirculated indoor air of the airplanes and food poisoning. Our clothes were stolen by my maternal relatives. I recent my own kins on both sides to this day.
By car, the farthest I traveled would be coming home from Mendocino County along the California State Route 1 instead of taking southbound Highway 101. My parents and I wanted to view our property up in Willits, California, which my dad already sold off for below half price to the government buy-out due to sanitation or sewer system concerns.
The next farthest I traveled would be Monterey, California last month. And that’s about it for “going out”. I no longer have the will or interest to travel farther from home. It’s just NOT worth my time, gasoline, or stress from driving. That’s all.
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Unsatsified arrangements
20230905-0011. I’m trying to arrange my bedroom according to compass directions. I can’t seem to make anything in this OLD house Feng Shui compliant.
For example, I wanted to arrange my bed so that the headboard faces south while the foot faces north. But there is limited space. I really want to get rid of these two twin extra-long adjustable beds from downstairs and buy a new regular twin bed set or at least get a new memory foam adjustable for my OLD queen size bed frame from upstairs.
If I had an ideal home, I’d like a Zen rock garden out front with plants meant for the drier climate here. I’d like a one story ranch house and two-car garage. I need the rooms to be at least 15x15sqft to squeeze these huge furnitures made outta cherry wood from the east coast. And I’d like a smaller backyard just for hanging out or barbecuing meals. That’s all.
