Currently, I dress and look like a “feminist”. I’m not a lesbian or bi-sexual. I happen to love “hot dogs” anytime. My image was quite feminine and that attracted the attention of a VERY handsome white boy. But that was over ten years ago and I regretted not pursuing the spook more aggressively. He wasn’t ready or the marrying type either.
I have only a few photos of me in tight and beautifully made dresses. And I was very thin in those days. My hair was VERY long, black with no highlights and straight, too. I even wore high heels and my feet did not hurt at all. My pooch never existed back then. I was pretty but not approachable. I wonder why.
Fast forward ten to twenty years later, I wear my hair shorter (like Dorothy Hamill’s “wedge haircut”) with blond highlights dyed in violet color for a low-tone effect. The cut of my “sideburns” exposes my earlobes only and two sets of earrings (or four holes – two in each ear lobe). The tops of my ears are covered because they are folded over (like a Persian, cat variety called “Scottish Fold”) due to birth injury or DNA.
My clothes styles is more conservative. Nowadays, I wear mostly slacks of polyester or better yet gabardine material. It hides by fatter thighs and bowed-legs better than tight jeans. (I might have ridden horses in my previous lives because of my “cowboy” legs).
My blouses are normal – either short-sleeves or quarter sleeves. Long sleeves are too hot to wear; since I walk around during my breaks during this Indian summer. And crew-necks choke me. I look better in round necks compared to collars, which makes my neck look shorter.
The only major accessory I wear is my classic, stainless-steel Rolex watch that Paw bought for both the boy and me before we were even born. I wear that priceless piece on my right wrist AND upside-down so that water won’t get into the “crown”, even though it’s water-tight. I wear maybe two rings on each hand when I feel like it. I don’t wear necklaces because it feels like a rope (or noose) tied around my neck. Even the orgone pendants can get heavy on the back of my neck.
As for make-up, I don’t wear those dirty things. The foundation especially is hard to put on and harder yet to take off! That’s how I avoid wrinkles – by not rubbing my skin too hard or too frequently. The lipstick tastes like chemicals! Lip gloss especially coats the inside of my teeth and mouth like an oil slick. The eyeliners (if put on too much) make me look meaner – a “maton” (or “bully”) as per Randy S., a former temp worker at my previous job.
My skin is dry no matter how much I moisturize. So dry that it cracks and hurts. My nails are kept short so as to avoid breakage and the ease of working as a data-entry clerk (paid at MINIMUM wage). As for nail polish, it smells and is mostly chemicals – unnatural.
My shoes are ugly because there are no “classic” styles that are comfortable for my size shoe of 9W (wide) . My wide feet hurt and I could feel my callus underneath the balls of my feet and the bunions of both my big toes. I have to wear flats; so I could walk comfortable AND fast! In case of emergency, I’d like to run out of the building fast and help others escape, too!
So while I appear more “masculine”, I would really love to appear more “feminine” and attractive to beautiful men, whose pride is to hang around and know women with a COMMON SENSE in fashion and eye-candy to boot (sans big boobs and ass).
