Flynn's Paws: My Thoughts, My Gripes

Tag: religion

  • 20111109-More Spooks

    During this morning’s mass, Tai lead the songs but as usual she is totally out of tune! I tried to out-sing her and keep her in tempo. But the poor old lady has problems, which I whispered into Maw’s ears after she interrupted Father “Mike” sermon.

    Of course, the priest looked directly at me because I was being a loud mouth, a middle-aged, mis-behaving type of gal! Hehehe! Later in the parking lot, an old Filipino lady came to Maw and proclaimed how some patches (obviously medical-type electrodes) helped the shooting pain stuck in her lower left leg.

    Two days ago, Poi intercepted us and started bragging about her connections with all the parish in San Jose. People don’t realize Rachel stopped bringing her out to breakfast. Even friends can fall out when someone likes to free-load on generous hearts. She then reserved three tickets for some sort of dancing fuctions with our local parish.

  • 20111105-Prayer Journal

    In recent news,

    Catholic Church unveils strict Latin translation, biggest change to Mass in 40 years
    New English-version debuts nationwide Nov. 27

    BY Lore Croghan
    NEW YORK DAILY NEWS
    Saturday, November 5 2011, 10:18 PM

    “The city’s Roman Catholics are preparing for the biggest change to the Mass in 40 years, a new English translation that will be rolled out nationwide Nov. 27.”

    View a front and back image of the sample changes to the updated congregational responses for mass according to the New Translation of the Roman Missal.

    Here are my humorous interpretations of the changes in parenthesis:

    • And with your spirit. (The Lord be within/inside you.)
    • I have greatly sinned. (That makes us really bad.)
    • through my fault, through my fault, through my most grievous fault; therefore… (The letter “F” in our alphabet is the sixth letter. Therefore, saying the word “fault” three times gives us a Satanic, numerical value of “6-6-6”!)
    • Have mercy on us, O Lord. For we have sinned against you. Show us, O Lord, your mercy. (I would like to know how we have sinned and why the Lord has not struck us down dead yet for all those sins!)
    • on earth peace to people of good will. (That means only the good guys get peace, not the bad guys on earth.)
    • We praise you, we bless you, we adore you, we glorigy you, we give you thanks for your great glory. (Hey! How about giving people credit for staying alive?)
    • O God, almighty Father, Only Begotten Son, Son of the Father, (I believe there are many sons and daughters of God, who may prefer diversity over singularits.)
    • you take away the sins of the world, receive our prayer, have mercy on us. (Yes. Please take us off this hellish planet.)
    • O… (Oh, Lord! Not again!)
    • I believe… things visible and invisible… (Same thing. Longer words.)
    • I believe… Begotten… born… before all ages… (You mean timeless eras?)
    • consubstantial… and by… was incarnate… (That’s another long word. And now there is the New Age concept of incarnation and/or Eastern philosophies of rebirths.)
    • he suffered death and rose again on the third day… accordance with… (Excellent! That means his bloodline is still alive! Whoo! Hoo!)
    • I believe… who… is adored… who… (Who cares?)
    • I believe… I confess… and I look forward… (Okay. We Catholics believe in the afterlife, just like ancient Egyptians once did. But look at them mummies now!)
    • holy… (That means sacrifices will be accepted by only the HOLY.)
    • And with your spirit. It is right and just. (So are we supposed to give it up just like that?)
    • Holy, Holy, Holy Lord God of hosts. (Okay. Then who are the parasites?)
    • The mystery of faith. (Blind faith is not good.)
    • We proclam your Death, O Lord, and profess your Resurrection until you come again. (Umm. They’re here!)
    • O Lord, again. (That’s right. O Lord, again!)
    • Save us, Savior of the world, for… (Are we that hopeless and helpless?)
    • And with your spirit. (The Lord be within/inside you.)
    • Behold… behold him… (What’s with the Lamb?)
    • Blessed are… to the supper of the Lamb… (Really! What’s up with the Lamb?)
    • that you should enter under my roof,… my soul… (So spiritual possession inside my mind is a good thing?)
    • And with your spirit. (The Lord be within/inside you.) — Spiritual possession!!!

  • 20111026-Bored Again

    Hallelujah! Praise the Lord! I’m bored again? Why? I’m un/deremployed, homeless, fat, ugly and poor! No one wants to hire an old fart with a bad attitude and who has little to no educational background or new sets of abilities/knowledge/skills/talents.

    All I have is this “PATHETIC” weblog site to keep me company. However, the weather is VERY pleasant and life is good being free from the system that chooses to take my money and run. None of the system available would help me get back what would have belonged to my family and me over eleven slong years.

    The network continues hold out their begging bowls in person, by calls, by mail or through electronic communication. For example, one was a letter received by the bishop of our area. He is asking for a one time donation (via the diocese) to expand/improve a local parish in the eastside (or “low town”)

    That’s how the network operates. They create the system and then when they need something they either coerce through legal/finances or beg through charity/donations. Either way, they benefit; while the rest continue to pay into the system.

    Or they use one side against the other. For example (an Addendum): Early this morning, “El Rushbeau” discussed how a bunch of Muslims attending a CATHOLIC university/school filed complaints against the place for putting up CROSSES/CRUCIFIXES, which bothers/offends them. They need to go away or shut-up or convert to CATHOLICSM.

  • Backward democracy…

    How could Libya or other Islamic countries go forward to democracy if their society is still based/ruled by the iron fist of their outmoded religious doctrine/dogma of strict ethical/moral codes?

    Hmmm. Perhaps, Sharia law could be implemented worldwide as a means to cut off/execute the heads/remove those persons who fail to keep their “scout’s honor” and make their families/relative/friends pay for their sins/dishonor/disgrace.

    After all, America is a nation of great opportunities for those who have little to no ethics or morals towards people, animals, plants and minerals and who exercise gross miconduct through legal/financial loopholes as part of usurous business practices.

    Posted from WordPress for Android

  • Stylized mobius…

    Bingo! Now you know what I’m talking about! That’s the fat bastards kines who live and work in around that school and who have refused to help me, rendering my being beyond frustrated a little bit but really FED up at the stolen value of my darn hard work over eleven slong years. They are the same group who are putting up the android despite the lack-luster track record of his state.

    These kines should learn how business is like marriage. And how could reptenance and forgiveness in marriage be possibile when one partner screws/mess around with the other partner (or partners, if in the case of polygamists, who indeed may intermarry/breed with their own kines)? There is no going back, after a divorce of faith, of being excommunicated, and/or without love.

    So can you look into the future, when we will actually meet in person, huh? Hehehe! Not unless you are one of them who wants/is assigned to “dick with me”. In which case, I too refuse to keep my promises of helping you and your kines with nothing to my name. Perhaps it is karma and is meant to be — not ever getting the chance to start over, again.

    Addendum: Notice, if you will, the numerical value for the “Mark of the Beast” in the header image of a WordPress.com theme: Dusk to Dawn. Dawn/Don could be Lucy/Lucifer, the “Biblical” lightbringer.

    Dusk to Dawn
    Dusk to Dawn Header Image
    number 666
    Image via Wikipedia

  • 20111021-Random Thoughts

    Here are my notes as entered on the “Memo” app of my cellphone:

    10/21/2011 13:56pm: At 13:53pm, we saw the divorced nutter peeping from inside the opened garage door, which she closed. At the same time a low flying helicopter came from between 240 – 260 degrees towards eastward. I called its “ATTENTION” both arms in the air as I emerged from my car.

    After shopping for one big pillow to be broken down into replacement parts for my four “baby pillows” at Anna’s Linen (and getting a “fanofannas.com” card from the store manager), we ate at Wienerschnitzel: one Italian Sausage, which Maw thought was TOO salty but was fine by me, one Pastrami sandwich, one Polish sandwich and three cones with one dipped in chocolate.

    Our first stop was Hancock Fabrics where we bought Maw’s 60-spool, wooden holder, one natural lamp, needles, threads and a Muslin cloth of light brown, which she bleached WHITE!

    10/21/2011 09:37am: This morning “El Rushbeau” shared on the radio that he grew up on cloth diapers, just like my younger brother and me. The government wants the taxpayers to fund NON-disposable diapers; so that parents who cannot afford diapers stay at home will qualify to send their children to day care centers. This tactic may be a bad incentive to get these welfare recipients back to work.

    10/21/2011 09:16am: During the brief talk with Minh after yesterday morning’s mass, we learned how the eldest priest heard Father Paul cavorting loudly at 3:00am in the morning with another woman, who may be his wife. The priests share a house and the walls are obviously not thick enough to drown out the sounds of this Vietnamese man, who likes to bowl, drink and party late at night and early in the morning. It goes to show how a priestly occupation goes beyond the call of duty and into the arms of woman, just like a Filipino priest has done in a small church located in Milpitas, CA. It reminds me of a movie: “The Thorn Birds“.

    10/21/2011 07:52am: En route to this morning’s mass, Maw and Paw had their usual political discussion. Obama is inticing these skulls full of mush into violence. The uprising is occurring worldwide. If the dictators can go down badly, especially yesterday’s unfortunate circumstances surroundinf the death of Qaddafi and him begging for his life, Obama will also end up being killed by the same thugs he has been forcing/doing his will/business. Thugs are likely to be angry in return. Addendum: Further, the next “dictator” in Libya after Qaddafi will be worse, just like what happened in other Middle Eastern country freed of one tyrant.

  • Contacting the…

    Well, that would explain the part about this morning’s “street theater“. These “victimization” tactics just bring out the mischievousness within me. Actually, I was having fun and love the chase and running away. And in no way did I felt any danger, except the temporary thrill and excitement mixed in with the rush of fear and dread.

    The first “contact” was earlier this year when help wasn’t signed on time. My patience wore thin and that was before I got FED up with waiting for nothing. They got me more FED up because they refused to help me after I have helped their androids and pals of the same kind that would most likely be implemented in 2012. And they keep telling me that it’s okay to be frustrated a bit. Indeed. Well, I declare!

    Oh well! If that is their way of intimidation, I’m not playing. Bring it on, fools! And I’ll keep reporting back my findings until you learn to GET ALONG or else face the wrath of God and pals with lots of love that you’d remember why y’all are still stuck on this hellish planet. Brouhaha!

  • 20111020-Weathery Ways

    This morning was cloudy — horizontal, puffy ones compacted together. Maw said it would rain. Paw said it won’t. It smelled like rain. Later the sunshine came out; the skies are clear and the winds are blowing cool and mild. The air is nice.

    And the criminals are let out because the jailhouse are too full and cheap. I figured they’d have enough money to run their loud vehicles up and down MY long stretch of road during my back yard cleaning.

    Anyway after lunch, I used the “walis” to broom the dried leaves from off the ginger rock for an hour. I finished at 2:40pm and finished my shower at 2:55pm. Now we have to say the damn rosary. Sorry, I don’t believe God would waste time with prayer beads.

  • Cult “beyond earth”…

    In recent news:

    Rick Perry Endorser Calls Mormonism A ‘Cult’ And Planned Parenthood A ‘Slaughterhouse For The Unborn’
    Oct 7, 2011 3:59pm By Michael Falcone

    Back in 2007, Jeffress had this to say about Romney: “Even though he talks about Jesus as his Lord and savior, he is not a Christian. Mormonism is not Christianity. Mormonism is a cult.”

    He’s got that right! Didn’t I mention how this and ANY alleged “Christian” religious organization operates close enough like Scientology, a cult of “ALIENS”? You bet! Right on! And as for abortion, that is also an “ALIEN” intervention, considering the scary-looking medical tools used to destroy life.

    Consider how political/moral/legal decisions will be made based on one’s religious affiliation.

  • Confessional visit…

    A nice Filipino couple came by our house and conversed with us from 11:00am until noontime. It appears that the nice guy was emotionally affected by the insane people at our local parish.

    • A Viet singer has been out of tune. She was scolded for this and took offense. In another incident, she again took offense and was ballistic — being verbally noisy, if not assaulting and loud enough for others in the main parish to hear her. Later, one of the old priest had told the nice guy that the Viet had a husband who lost the house to gambling. So you see folks, these refugees are nasty, too by projecting their problems from the mainland and at home to the public servants. Huh.
    • Addendum-Last edited by FLYNN on 20111011 at 12:48:39 PM PDT: Father Paul complained that his prayer books were not set up in time so that he could have a few minutes to prepare before mass. Oh, yeah! Then why was didn’t show up for mass last Tuesday and instead let another priest get a headache from covering him last minute? Why are you Viets good in partying, gambling, drinking and being nasty? There has been and never were priest without mortal sins and still people follow their lead as if they know everything.
    • Two Mexicanas — one with thick eyelashes and the other with a prune face — were scolded for grabbing more “daily companions” for people outside our parish. Sheesh.
    • A Filipino guy was being his nasty self again. While the nice guy was trying to get one of the books to bookmark for the celebrating priest, the nasty guy told the nice guy to bug off instead of thanking him for the support. The nice guy left everything and decided from that day NOT to speak to the insane person, who is nasty to everyone.
    • A priest and a sister are both elderly folks who might be  human but sin like everyone else. Both didn’t like using the BIG offering bowl like all the other parish and have pissed off in front of the nice guy. “Who’s idea was it? This is stupid!” ~Said the big guy.
    • The nice guy killed his nemesis — a squirrel. “You killed one of God‘s creatures! He might have had a family to feed!” ~I scolded him. He had placed a trap, thinking it was a BIG rat. He crossed himself in front of me and looked heaven ward in forgiveness.

    So, appears that the nice guy might be a bad boy after all. In his mind, he is doing the right thing BUT he stops short of “real” confrontation. It is really between him and the Lord, now.

    The moral of this story is: Don’t expect thanks and gratitude from those people who believe they are doing the right things (in life). By imposing your will upon others, your kindness might NOT be accepted with a genuine and sincere heart.

  • 20100331-Prayer Journal

    “Let all who are hungry come in and eat.
    Let all who are needy come and make Passover.”

    ~the Haggadah

    Master of Ceremonies … (Introductory narration)

    CANDLE BLESSING

    Master of Ceremonies … (Hostess lights the candles.)

    Mothers: Blessed are You, O Lord our God, King of the Universe. You have sanctified us by your commandments and commanded us to kindle the festival lights.

    Blessed are You, our God, King of the Universe. You have kept us alive and sustained us and brought us to this season. May our homes be consecrated by the light of your countenance, shine upon us in blessing and bring us peace.

    All: Amen.

    CUP OF THANKSGIVING – KIDDUSH

    Master of Ceremonies … (Host pours cups of wine or apple cider.)

    All: Blessed are You, O Lord our God, King of the Universe. You have created the fruit of the vine.

    Master of Ceremonies …

    Fathers: Blessed are You, O Lord our God, King of the Universe. You have made of one blood all the people of the earth. You have exalted mankind by breathing life into his mind and the love of freedom into his hearts. You have sanctified us so that we might know and say what was holy and not profane, what was freedom and what was slavery.

    Blessed are You, O Lord our God, who with love has allowed us to give ourselves and you solemn days for your festivals and seasons for gladness.

    Blessed are You, O Lord our God, You allowed Israel to imagine this day of the Feast of the Unleavened Bread, the season of our freedom as well, a holy convocation, a memorial of the departure from Egypt.

    Blessed are You, O Lord our God, Who sanctified Israel, all of mankind and all the seasons.

    (All are invited to drink from their filled cups.)

    RAHATZ AND KARPAS

    Master of Ceremonies …

    All: Blessed are You, O Lord our God, King of the Universe. YOu created the fruit of the soil.

    Master of Ceremonies … (All are invited to perform RAHATZ (washes) the KARPAS (usually watercress or parsley) by dipping this symbol of spring into salt water, a reminder of the tears of the Israelites shed in Egypt.)

    MATZEE – MATZO

    Master of Ceremonies …

    Fathers: Behold! This is the bread of affliction which our fathers ate in the land of Egypt. Let all who are hungry come and eat. Let all who are in want come and celebrate this Passover with us. May it be God’s will to redeem us from all evil and from all servitude. For this year not only we, but all wo/men, are slaves and ALIENS — next year we pray that all wo/men shall be free. This year, wo/men eat as ALIENS in a land not wholly theirs. Next year, we pray all wo/men will celebrate in a world made one and a world made free.

    Priest: It was at this moment that Jesus made perhaps His most incredible statement and still, to this day, unbelieved and unaccepted by many. Instead of the usual words of Blessing over the matzo bread, which the fathers at each table have just prayed Jesus said: “Take this and eat it; this is My [Flesh] Body.”

    (All are invited to eat matzo and horseradish).

    CUP OF MEMORY AND HAGGADAH

    Master of Ceremonies and Children … (Host pours cups of wine or apple cider.)

    Fathers: The SYRIANS pursued our fathers who went down into Egypt and stayed there and grew into a nation great and strong and populous. The Egyptians enslaved and persecuted us, making our lives unbearable. We cried to YAHWEH, and He heard us and looked down upon our labor and distress. And He brouth us out of Egypt with a strong hand and outstretched arms, with great terror, with signs and wonders. Therefore, even if all of us were wise and men of understanding, it would still be our duty from year to year to tell the story of deliverance from Egypt. To dwell on it is praiseworthy.

    Lector: It is well for all of us, whether young or old , to consider how God’s help has been our unfailing stay and support through ages of trial and persecution. Ever since He called our father Abraham from the bondage of idolatry of His service of truth, He has been our guardian. For not in one country alone, nor in one age, have violent men risen up against us, but in every generation and in every land, tyrants have sought to destroy us. And the Holy One, blessed be He, has delivered us from their hands.

    The Torah tells us that when Jacob, our father was a homeless wanderer, he went down into Egypt and sojourned there, with few in number. All the souls of his household were three-score and ten. And Joseph was already in Egypt because he was governor over the land as Pharaoh had commanded. And Israel dwelt in the land of Goshen; and they got their possessions therein and were fruitful and multiplied exceedingly. And Joseph died and all his brethren and all that generation.

    Now there arose over Egypt a new king, one who knew not of Joseph. And he said unto his people: “Behold, the people of the children of Israel are too many and too might for us. Come, let us deal wisely with them to stop their increase; otherwise, in time of war they too may join our enemies to fight against us and so leave out country.”

    Therefore, they set over them taskmasters to afflict them with burdens. And they built for Pharaoh the store-cities, Pithom and Raamses. But the more the Egyptians afflicted them, the more the Israelites multiplied and the more they spread abroad.

    And the Egyptians dealt ill with us and afflicted us and laid upon us cruel bondage. And we cried unto the Lord, the God of our fathers. And the Lord heard our voice and saw our affliction and Egypt with a might hand and with an outstretched arm and with great terror and with signs and with wonders. He sent before us Moses and Aaron and Miriam. And He brought forth His people, His chosen ones, with joy and with singing. And He guided them in the wilderness as a shepherd would his flock.

    He commanded us to observe this “Passover” in its season from year to year, that His law shall always remain in our mouths, and that we shall declare His might to our children and His salvation unto all generations.

    (All are invited to drink from their filled cups.)

    ELEMENTS OF THE PASSOVER FEAST

    Master of Ceremonies …

    Master of Ceremonies and Guests: What is the meaning of Pesach? (Lector’s wife picks up the lamb bone and displays it to the guests.)

    Lector: Pesach means the Paschal Lamb which our forefathers sacrificed to the Lord in memory of that night when the Holy One passed over the houses of Egypt. As it is written: “When your children ask you: What is the meaning of this ritual? You sall say to them: The sacrifice of the Passover is in honor of YAHWEH, who passed over the houses of the children of Israel in Egypt, striking the Egyptians, and saving our houses.” (Exodus 12:26-27)

    Master of Ceremonies and Guests: What is the meaning of Matzo? (Lector’s wife lifts up a piece of matzo and displays it to the guests.)

    Lector: This is the bread of affliction which our fathers took with them out of Egypt. As it is written: “They baked cakes with the dough which they had brought from Egypt, which was unleavened, because they had been driven out of Egypt with no time for delay and had not provided themselves with food for the journey.” (Exodus 12:39)

    Master of Ceremonies and Guests: What is the meaning of Moror? (Lector’s wife lifts up the bitter herb, which is actually horseradish, and displays it to the guests.)

    Lector: Moror means bitter herb. We eat Moror to recall that the Egyptians embittered the lives of our fathers, as it is written: “The Egyptians, then, dreaded the Israelites and reduced them to cruel slavery, making life bitter for them with hard work in mortar and brick and all kinds of field work.” (Exodus 1:13-14)

    Master of Ceremonies and Guests: What is the meaning of the Roasted Egg? (Lector’s wife lifts up the Roasted Egg and displays it to the guests.)

    Lector: The Roasted Egg is a symbol of life everlasting. A festive temple offering.

    Master of Ceremonies and Guests: What is the meaning of Haroses? (Lector’s wife lifts up the Haroses and displays it to the geust.)

    Lector: Haroses represents the mortar Israelites used in making bricks in Egypt.

    Lector and Wife: In every generation, each person ought to regard himself as though he had personally come out of Egypt, as it is written: “On this day you will explain to your son, “This is because of what YAHWEH did for me when I came out of Egypt.” (Exodus 13:8)

    PSALM 114
    The Lord’s Wonders at the Exodus

    Master of Ceremonies …

    Lector: When Israel went out of Egypt, the house of Jacob from a foreign nation,

    All: Judah became His sanctuary and Israel His domain.

    Lector: The sea fled at the sight and the Jordan stopped flowing.

    All: Sea, what makes you run away? Jordan, why stop flowing? Why skip like rams, you mountains? Why like lambs, you hills?

    Lector: Tremble, O earth, at the coming of your Master, at the coming of the God of Jacob.

    Master of Ceremonies …

    All: Blessed are you, O Lord our God, King of the Universe. You have created the fruit of the vine.

    Master of Ceremonies …

    THE KOREKH

    Master of Ceremonies …

    Fathers: Blessed are You, O Lord our God, King of the Universe. You have sanctified us by Your commandments and commanded us concerning the eating of unleavened bread.

    Master of Ceremonies …

    All: Blessed are you, O Lord our God, King of the Universe. You have sanctified us by Your commandments and commanded us concerning the eating of bitter herbs and haroses.

    Master of Ceremonies …

    (Sedar (dinner) is now served.)

    SEARCH FOR THE AFIKOMAN

    Master of Ceremonies … (Children search for Alikoman.)

    Fathers: Let us bless the name of the Lord.

    All: May the name of the Lord be blessed from now to eternity.

    Fathers: Blessed are you, O Lord our God, King of the Universe. You feed the entire world with your goodness, with grace, with loving kindness and with pity. You give bread to all flesh, for your loving kindness endures forever. In your great goodness, food has not been and shall not be lacking for us, for ever and ever. For the sake of your great goodness you are god, who feeds and supports all and does good to all and prepares food for all your creatures.

    All: Blessed are you O Lord, who feeds all your creatures.

    THE CUP OF BLESSING

    Master of Ceremonies … (Host pours cups of wine or apple cider.)

    Priest: We believe it was ata this time that the institution of the Most Precious Blood was made. “This is the Cup of My Blood of the new and everlasting covenant, which will be shed for the forgiveness of sins.”

    (All are invited to drink from their filled cups.)

    PSALM 116
    Thanksgiving to God for Help in Need

    Master of Ceremonies …

    Lector: How shall I make a return to the Lord for all the good He has done for me?

    All: The Cup of Salvation I will take up, calling on the name of the Lord.

    Lector: I will pay what I owe to the Lord in the presence of His whole nation.

    All: Precious in the eyes of the Lord is the death of His faithful ones.

    Lector: O Lord, I am your servant, the son of your handmaid.

    All: To you will I offer sacrifice of thanksgiving in the name of the Lord. Blessed are you, O Lord our God, King of the Universe. You have created the fruit of the vine.

    Master of Ceremonies …

    RECEPTION OF ELIJAH

    Master of Ceremonies … (Elijah knocks on door, which is opened. Elijad’s cup is filled. Elijah arrives.)

    CUP OF FREEDOM AND FINAL BENEDICTION

    Master of Ceremonies …

    Priest: With songs of praise, we have lifted up the cups symbolizing the divine promises of salvation and have called upon the name of God. As we offer Benediction over this fourth cup, let us again lift up our souls to God in faith and in hope. May He who broke Pharaoh’s yoke forever shatter all fetters of oppression and hasten the days when swords shall, at last, be broken and wars ended.

    Soon may He cause the glad tidings of redemption to be heard in all lands, so that mankind, freed from violence and from wrong, and united in an eternal covenant of brotherhood, may celebrate the universal Passover in the name of our God of Freedom.

    In a moment, we will partake of our fourth cup of wine, the Cup of Freedom. It is a reminder of freedom, its hopes, struggles and dreams for so many enslaved nations and individuals. As committed children of God, we are called to witness this precious gift and make it known to all peoples of the earth, those who seek justice, those who lack any rights, and those who fight for freedom.

    All: Praised are You, O Lord our God, King of the Univers. You have created the fruit of the vine.

    Master of Ceremonies …

    (All are invited to drink from their filled cups.)

    Priest: The Lord bless you and keep you. The Lord make His face shine upon you and have mercy on you. May the Lord life up His countenance upon you and give you peace.

    All: So mote it be! So mote it be! So mote it be!

    Master of Ceremonies …

    Narrator … (Closing)

    Shalom … L’Chaim …

    —

    Addendum: Draft saved at 3:23:18 pm. Last edited by FLYNN on 20111007 at 17:26:27 PM PDT. This was originally a static page, which will have been deleted. It was a Seder dinner held at our local parish hall last year.

    “Let all who are hungry come in and eat.
    Let all who are needy come and make Passover.”

    ~the Haggadah

    Master of Ceremonies … (Introductory narration)

    CANDLE BLESSING

    Master of Ceremonies … (Hostess lights the candles.)

    Mothers: Blessed are You, O Lord our God, King of the Universe. You have sanctified us by your commandments and commanded us to kindle the festival lights.

    Blessed are You, our God, King of the Universe. You have kept us alive and sustained us and brought us to this season. May our homes be consecrated by the light of your countenance, shine upon us in blessing and bring us peace.

    All: Amen.

    CUP OF THANKSGIVING – KIDDUSH

    Master of Ceremonies … (Host pours cups of wine or apple cider.)

    All: Blessed are You, O Lord our God, King of the Universe. You have created the fruit of the vine.

    Master of Ceremonies …

    Fathers: Blessed are You, O Lord our God, King of the Universe. You have made of one blood all the people of the earth. You have exalted mankind by breathing life into his mind and the love of freedom into his hearts. You have sanctified us so that we might know and say what was holy and not profane, what was freedom and what was slavery.

    Blessed are You, O Lord our God, who with love has allowed us to give ourselves and you solemn days for your festivals and seasons for gladness.

    Blessed are You, O Lord our God, You allowed Israel to imagine this day of the Feast of the Unleavened Bread, the season of our freedom as well, a holy convocation, a memorial of the departure from Egypt.

    Blessed are You, O Lord our God, Who sanctified Israel, all of mankind and all the seasons.

    (All are invited to drink from their filled cups.)

    RAHATZ AND KARPAS

    Master of Ceremonies …

    All: Blessed are You, O Lord our God, King of the Universe. YOu created the fruit of the soil.

    Master of Ceremonies … (All are invited to perform RAHATZ (washes) the KARPAS (usually watercress or parsley) by dipping this symbol of spring into salt water, a reminder of the tears of the Israelites shed in Egypt.)

    MATZEE – MATZO

    Master of Ceremonies …

    Fathers: Behold! This is the bread of affliction which our fathers ate in the land of Egypt. Let all who are hungry come and eat. Let all who are in want come and celebrate this Passover with us. May it be God’s will to redeem us from all evil and from all servitude. For this year not only we, but all wo/men, are slaves and ALIENS — next year we pray that all wo/men shall be free. This year, wo/men eat as ALIENS in a land not wholly theirs. Next year, we pray all wo/men will celebrate in a world made one and a world made free.

    Priest: It was at this moment that Jesus made perhaps His most incredible statement and still, to this day, unbelieved and unaccepted by many. Instead of the usual words of Blessing over the matzo bread, which the fathers at each table have just prayed Jesus said: “Take this and eat it; this is My [Flesh] Body.”

    CUP OF MEMORY AND HAGGADAH

    Master of Ceremonies and Children … (Host pours cups of wine or apple cider.)

    Fathers: The SYRIANS pursued our fathers who went down into Egypt and stayed there and grew into a nation great and strong and populous. The Egyptians enslaved and persecuted us, making our lives unbearable. We cried to YAHWEH, and He heard us and looked down upon our labor and distress. And He brouth us out of Egypt with a strong hand and outstretched arms, with great terror, with signs and wonders. Therefore, even if all of us were wise and men of understanding, it would still be our duty from year to year to tell the story of deliverance from Egypt. To dwell on it is praiseworthy.

    Lector: It is well for all of us, whether young or old , to consider how God’s help has been our unfailing stay and support through ages of trial and persecution. Ever since He called our father Abraham from the bondage of idolatry of His service of truth, He has been our guardian. For not in one country alone, nor in one age, have violent men risen up against us, but in every generation and in every land, tyrants have sought to destroy us. And the Holy One, blessed be He, has delivered us from their hands.

    The Torah tells us that when Jacob, our father was a homeless wanderer, he went down into Egypt and sojourned there, with few in number. All the souls of his household were three-score and ten. And Joseph was already in Egypt because he was governor over the land as Pharaoh had commanded. And Israel dwelt in the land of Goshen; and they got their possessions therein and were fruitful and multiplied exceedingly. And Joseph died and all his brethren and all that generation.

    Now there arose over Egypt a new king, one who knew not of Joseph. And he said unto his people: “Behold, the people of the children of Israel are too many and too might for us. Come, let us deal wisely with them to stop their increase; otherwise, in time of war they too may join our enemies to fight against us and so leave out country.”

    Therefore, they set over them taskmasters to afflict them with burdens. And they built for Pharaoh the store-cities, Pithom and Raamses. But the more the Egyptians afflicted them, the more the Israelites multiplied and the more they spread abroad.

    And the Egyptians dealt ill with us and afflicted us and laid upon us cruel bondage. And we cried unto the Lord, the God of our fathers. And the Lord heard our voice and saw our affliction and Egypt with a might hand and with an outstretched arm and with great terror and with signs and with wonders. He sent before us Moses and Aaron and Miriam. And He brought forth His people, His chosen ones, with joy and with singing. And He guided them in the wilderness as a shepherd would his flock.

    He commanded us to observe this “Passover” in its season from year to year, that His law shall always remain in our mouths, and that we shall declare His might to our children and His salvation unto all generations.

    (All are invited to drink from their filled cups.)

    ELEMENTS OF THE PASSOVER FEAST

    Master of Ceremonies …

    Master of Ceremonies and Guests: What is the meaning of Pesach? (Lector’s wife picks up the lamb bone and displays it to the guests.)

    Lector: Pesach means the Paschal Lamb which our forefathers sacrificed to the Lord in memory of that night when the Holy One passed over the houses of Egypt. As it is written: “When your children ask you: What is the meaning of this ritual? You sall say to them: The sacrifice of the Passover is in honor of YAHWEH, who passed over the houses of the children of Israel in Egypt, striking the Egyptians, and saving our houses.” (Exodus 12:26-27)

    Master of Ceremonies and Guests: What is the meaning of Matzo? (Lector’s wife lifts up a piece of matzo and displays it to the guests.)

    Lector: This is the bread of affliction which our fathers took with them out of Egypt. As it is written: “They baked cakes with the dough which they had brought from Egypt, which was unleavened, because they had been driven out of Egypt with no time for delay and had not provided themselves with food for the journey.” (Exodus 12:39)

    Master of Ceremonies and Guests: What is the meaning of Moror? (Lector’s wife lifts up the bitter herb, which is actually horseradish, and displays it to the guests.)

    Lector: Moror means bitter herb. We eat Moror to recall that the Egyptians embittered the lives of our fathers, as it is written: “The Egyptians, then, dreaded the Israelites and reduced them to cruel slavery, making life bitter for them with hard work in mortar and brick and all kinds of field work.” (Exodus 1:13-14)

    Master of Ceremonies and Guests: What is the meaning of the Roasted Egg? (Lector’s wife lifts up the Roasted Egg and displays it to the guests.)

    Lector: The Roasted Egg is a symbol of life everlasting. A festive temple offering.

    Master of Ceremonies and Guests: What is the meaning of Haroses? (Lector’s wife lifts up the Haroses and displays it to the geust.)

    Lector: Haroses represents the mortar Israelites used in making bricks in Egypt.

    Lector and Wife: In every generation, each person ought to regard himself as though he had personally come out of Egypt, as it is written: “On this day you will explain to your son, “This is because of what YAHWEH did for me when I came out of Egypt.” (Exodus 13:8)

    PSALM 114
    The Lord’s Wonders at the Exodus

    Master of Ceremonies …

    Lector: When Israel went out of Egypt, the house of Jacob from a foreign nation,

    All: Judah became His sanctuary and Israel His domain.

    Lector: The sea fled at the sight and the Jordan stopped flowing.

    All: Sea, what makes you run away? Jordan, why stop flowing? Why skip like rams, you mountains? Why like lambs, you hills?

    Lector: Tremble, O earth, at the coming of your Master, at the coming of the God of Jacob.

    Master of Ceremonies …

    All: Blessed are you, O Lord our God, King of the Universe. You have created the fruit of the vine.

    Master of Ceremonies …

    THE KOREKH

    Master of Ceremonies …

    Fathers: Blessed are You, O Lord our God, King of the Universe. You have sanctified us by Your commandments and commanded us concerning the eating of unleavened bread.

    Master of Ceremonies …

    All: Blessed are you, O Lord our God, King of the Universe. You have sanctified us by Your commandments and commanded us concerning the eating of bitter herbs and haroses.

    Master of Ceremonies …

    (Sedar (dinner) is now served.)

    SEARCH FOR THE AFIKOMAN

    Master of Ceremonies … (Children search for Alikoman.)

    Fathers: Let us bless the name of the Lord.

    All: May the name of the Lord be blessed from now to eternity.

    Fathers: Blessed are you, O Lord our God, King of the Universe. You feed the entire world with your goodness, with grace, with loving kindness and with pity. You give bread to all flesh, for your loving kindness endures forever. In your great goodness, food has not been and shall not be lacking for us, for ever and ever. For the sake of your great goodness you are god, who feeds and supports all and does good to all and prepares food for all your creatures.

    All: Blessed are you O Lord, who feeds all your creatures.

    THE CUP OF BLESSING

    Master of Ceremonies … (Host pours cups of wine or apple cider.)

    Priest: We believe it was ata this time that the institution of the Most Precious Blood was made. “This is the Cup of My Blood of the new and everlasting covenant, which will be shed for the forgiveness of sins.”

    (All are invited to drink from their filled cups.)

    PSALM 116
    Thanksgiving to God for Help in Need

    Master of Ceremonies …

    Lector: How shall I make a return to the Lord for all the good He has done for me?

    All: The Cup of Salvation I will take up, calling on the name of the Lord.

    Lector: I will pay what I owe to the Lord in the presence of His whole nation.

    All: Precious in the eyes of the Lord is the death of His faithful ones.

    Lector: O Lord, I am your servant, the son of your handmaid.

    All: To you will I offer sacrifice of thanksgiving in the name of the Lord. Blessed are you, O Lord our God, King of the Universe. You have created the fruit of the vine.

  • 20111008-More Spooks

    Right now, there is a dark green, Dodge-like caravan with VERY dark tinted windows parked near the yellow fire hydrant. That would be the same location as the divorced nutter’s investigator friend.

    Yesterday and crater-faced Viet and his Beta wife of animal print clothes were sitting behind us. I heard him well with my hearing left aid: “What the hell is going on?” I turned my head to the left and fingered the back cover and said: “It is a benediction.” You can see how refugees, Buddhists and other Christians don’t get it. The “real” Catholics know what to expect.

    Three days ago, Margaret, the would-be opera singing Viet had made a distinct trail at the end of the opening song. Of course, I said shut up aloud. She doesn’t have rhythm and sings too low. Plus, she won’t step away from the microphone, which amplifies her out of tune voice.

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