Tag: personal

Currently, I dress and look like a “feminist”. I’m not a lesbian or bi-sexual. I happen to love “hot dogs” anytime. My image was quite feminine and that attracted the attention of a VERY handsome white boy. But that was over ten years ago and I regretted not pursuing the spook more aggressively. He wasn’t ready or the marrying type either.

I have only a few photos of me in tight and beautifully made dresses. And I was very thin in those days. My hair was VERY long, black with no highlights and straight, too. I even wore high heels and my feet did not hurt at all. My pooch never existed back then. I was pretty but not approachable. I wonder why.

Fast forward ten to twenty years later, I wear my hair shorter (like Dorothy Hamill’s “wedge haircut”) with blond highlights dyed in violet color for a low-tone effect. The cut of my “sideburns” exposes my earlobes only and two sets of earrings (or four holes – two in each ear lobe). The tops of my ears are covered because they are folded over (like a Persian, cat variety called “Scottish Fold”) due to birth injury or DNA.

My clothes styles is more conservative. Nowadays, I wear mostly slacks of polyester or better yet gabardine material. It hides by fatter thighs and bowed-legs better than tight jeans. (I might have ridden horses in my previous lives because of my “cowboy” legs).

My blouses are normal – either short-sleeves or quarter sleeves. Long sleeves are too hot to wear; since I walk around during my breaks during this Indian summer. And crew-necks choke me. I look better in round necks compared to collars, which makes my neck look shorter.

The only major accessory I wear is my classic, stainless-steel Rolex watch that Paw bought for both the boy and me before we were even born. I wear that priceless piece on my right wrist AND upside-down so that water won’t get into the “crown”, even though it’s water-tight. I wear maybe two rings on each hand when I feel like it. I don’t wear necklaces because it feels like a rope (or noose) tied around my neck. Even the orgone pendants can get heavy on the back of my neck.

As for make-up, I don’t wear those dirty things. The foundation especially is hard to put on and harder yet to take off! That’s how I avoid wrinkles – by not rubbing my skin too hard or too frequently. The lipstick tastes like chemicals! Lip gloss especially coats the inside of my teeth and mouth like an oil slick. The eyeliners (if put on too much) make me look meaner – a “maton” (or “bully”) as per Randy S., a former temp worker at my previous job.

My skin is dry no matter how much I moisturize. So dry that it cracks and hurts. My nails are kept short so as to avoid breakage and the ease of working as a data-entry clerk (paid at MINIMUM wage). As for nail polish, it smells and is mostly chemicals – unnatural.

My shoes are ugly because there are no “classic” styles that are comfortable for my size shoe of 9W (wide) . My wide feet hurt and I could feel my callus underneath the balls of my feet and the bunions of both my big toes. I have to wear flats; so I could walk comfortable AND fast! In case of emergency, I’d like to run out of the building fast and help others escape, too!

So while I appear more “masculine”, I would really love to appear more “feminine” and attractive to beautiful men, whose pride is to hang around and know women with a COMMON SENSE in fashion and eye-candy to boot (sans big boobs and ass).

I love small, delicate and sometimes intricate designs/patterns on my clothes. Yesterday during our lunch walk, Theresa didn’t like large prints, which would make her petite height appear WIDER.

When I shop for clothes, I look for bargains. Of course, I need a second opinion and third one, too from, guess – Maw and Paw, respectively. I’m an idiot at shopping for good clothes to wear. I lack style, period.

If I cannot find my regular, medium-sized blouses, I try to find larger-sized blouses of 14P (for petite). The petite styles are “cuter” because there are embroidery, appliqué, bead and sequin works. However, the length can be somewhat short, just barely covering my belly pooch and hairy back! Yeah, that’s right I’m a cave woman! Ooo! Ooo! Ahh! Ahh! The regular styles for blouses are more “masculine”. It’s so boring to look at – straighter, less work except simple cuts and drab, one color.

For my slacks or pants, I wear 12P (petite) comfortably. My legs are short and therefore petite sizes fit perfectly, except sometimes the length can be a bit short, making me look like the nice nerd, Steve Urkel (on the American sit-com television show “Family Matters”). For my jeans, I can try to squeeze into a 10P (petite). But that would mean cutting off blood circulation to my vital parts. Hehehe!

Last night and while eating dinner, we were watching FoxNews on television. But because my back is usually to the television, I concentrate on chewing my food. I notice I’d gag on foodstuff when turning my head. Plus, it’s disrespectful to watch television while eating food.

After dinner, the television is still tuned to Greta and then maybe O’Reilly, who wasn’t on at that time. I noticed a new commercial: GMC Sierra. I guess TPTB has trolled my Facebook account and came across my middle name, which is also the name of MY road!

The usual word play and word associations with my initials FB continue to appear on these network media shows. I noticed the headline of the Greta’s topic mentioned something about Palin-Backed support for certain political candidates. As mentioned in one of my recent blog entries, Palin(e) is Flynn in Hawaiian. Neat.

I was trying to find a catchy domain name and came across:

“Baby names that sound like Flynn […]`

Flynn – (Irish Gaelic – red one, son of the red one).

Phelim (Celtic – beauty, forever).

Phelim looks like Nephilim, or fallen angels/giants.

Does that mean Flynn (or moi) is fallen from grace?