Month: December 2024

20241229-1251. I don’t recall having any real personal goal that’s too hard. All I know is that if I liked the goal, I would set it before myself to the end. If I do NOT like the goal, I wouldn’t try even in the least hardest.

For me a hard goal is just getting outta bed in the morning, exercising, and doing the normal and mundane house chores of cooking and cleaning.

When a goal becomes too hard, I just stop. When a goal is just hard, I don’t attempt. But if I have no other choice, then I would force myself to try at least once.

For example, I do NOT like going outdoors or doing hard work, such as gardening. But since no one else is capable of doing this job, like my low-IQed elderly father and since he is the property owner who refuses to hire gardeners who fail to do a good enough job the way we want it, I’m stuck with this “goal” of mowing the lawns, pulling weed and maintaining the beautification of our corner lot.

So that’s the current “hardest” goal – to force myself to do something, anything worthwhile or – as the Live show/Video guy said in a different conversational topic – of value.

End 1256 PST.

20241229-1245. I never really “worshipped” any “artists”. I may follow a few social media content providers. I grew up listening to musicians and buying their albums, watching celebrities on television or in theaters. I would buying books by politicians and other popular talking-heads, too. Other than that, I really have no favorites.

End 1250 PST.

20241229-1235. I learned crocheting from my Auntie Edith, who is the younger sister of my elderly father. I made doilies. One doily was rainbow-colored. Some were regular cream-colored. The circles were easy. I tried a long runner for a table but I forgot if I ever did.

I created one oil painting featuring a Bible verse from a poster. I hung this huge piece over the stairwell. I painted over the original black background with an orangey beige to match the banister. The other oil painting was a landscape of a puzzle piece with the colorful flowers on the lower left hand panel.

I loved to assemble jigsaw puzzles and hang them on the wall. But like my two oil paintings, I also donated the assembled puzzles.

(I also donated dad’s two matching wooden placards of a mallard ducks being hunted by British on horseback and their dogs.)

Currently, I do NOT have a favorite hobby.

End 1245 PST.

20241229-1228. My possessions are part of me. To loose life and limb would be a terrible waste. Letting go of loved ones, especially pets, is already horrible. It would be tough enough to loose food, clothing and shelter – the essentials in life.

I would curse my fate and learn nothing but to hate and curse y’all. If ever that would happen and that which is outta my control, then curse y’all. If I had a chance to control that which I could, then that’s on me.

But the way I see and have known how this “operates”, no one is immune to downfalls whether real – like homelessness or imagined – like ghosts stalking or ancestors whispering.

If I survive the initial loss, I would gather whatever is left of my belonging and start over. I would head on over to the nearest fallout/shelter, seek employment, and do my best NOT to bother others, including my ungrateful family/relatives.

Since I really have NO friends, I’m pretty much on my own. I own nothing as most of my possessions are really bought and paid for by my elderly father who does NOT mind but can’t really refuse; since he has no one else to rely upon.

That’s all. End 1234 PST.

2024129-1204. I did NOT know being woke refers to blacks. Being awakened is spiritual. I’m here to spread awareness only.

Now taking the Jews and their scapegoating the Whites in context with the blacks and their racial inequalities and other imagined reparations changed my mind about being categorized, “pigeon-holed” or experimented upon by THEM, which is PURE EVIL and the enemies of AllFather.

As an outsider observing within, I would rather be grafted into clan Judahites (if I mistaken then correct me) than being blood-lined as a Jews, which is a fake group just like Israel which is a fake state.

For all intents and purposes, I know nothing to be well-versed enough about history or anything religious. I’m merely “free-blogging” based on the “flow” and “feel” of whatever remnant memories I happen to come across online.

With the black folks being low-IQed, they gotta stay in their homelands and could NEVER be assimilated into Westernized civilizations. I could see THEY are much happier and thrive much better when THEY stay together back in Africa. They could NEVER follow orders or codes of conduct in Western society. The American jail/prison system would be better off without them.

The same goes with the South Asian Indians (or as I would label as “brownish-shats” since certain Hindu sects worship dung and urine as sacred): those devil worshippers coming to America via the H1-B Visa Programs. For me, their multiple “gods” are nothing more than “demons”.

I see all Orientals must go back to their homelands, too; since they were from the regimes of communism created by Jews. So by default any immigrants from those affected countries are invaders into America and are to the be shipped back to their native homelands.

This includes outta space aliens who are also invaders making deal with our shadow governments. These space invaders gotta go back through the portals and be sealed forever because their advanced technology is polluting our realm. THEY do NOT have the “advanced” technology to clean-up after the mess THEY have left behind, including diseases and various ailments.

That’s all. End 1226 PST.

20241229-1102. I feel like an introvert but I am NOT anti-social. I would love the company of others and tend to talk loud and about wild stuff to no end.

But after reaching my age now, I have dealt with the stress and anxiety of imaging what people thought and said about me without ever knowing if anything was true or NOT.

I dreaded just hearing about being invited to parties or any sort of celebration or social function.

Now after the COVIDIAN lockdowns and after leaving the both main SVP church choir and the city’s SJSC, I feel more calm and relaxed than ever before!

Before all that, I was struggling to overcome the overwhelming feeling of being bullied like what happened with Lolita, the coo-coo NextDoor neighbor.

That torture is behind me now as I’m more empowered to accept my fate that everything is illusory and any afflictions, challenges, obstacles that cross my path to spiritual enlightenment are but harsh teachers.

I’ve learned “actually” to miss seeing my relatives and didn’t flinch or feel resentful to hug them. I went up boldly to hug my estranged nieces and nephews, too.

I don’t care anymore to go outdoor and out the front yard even knowing that the coo-coo NextDoor neighbor might get triggered at my presence and start bullying me again.

That’s all. End 1110 PST.

20241229-1056. If I have no computers, I would end up going outdoors more frequently, talking to people that I hate, watching more television and reading some books.

With computers, I am able to do word processing and spreadsheets. I also could take snapshots of my activities online and photos of people, places and things to nowhere. I would meet people online and squander or invest my monies that I did NOT earn!

In the past, I used our OLD Corona typewriter for my high school and college papers. Also, I used the Dewey Decimal Classification (DDC) paper cardboard system to look-up and check-out my books.

I hated those days and I guess the “matrix” heard my prayers. Today, we are today blessed with computers, the internet and more expenses than ever before!

That’s all. End 1102 PST.

20241229-1048. The Live show/Video guy requested that I try to photoshop my book cover onto his image without making look too gay.

But since the OLD guy, our favorite daily messenger, mentioned that AI (artificial intelligence) is demonic, I was hesitant to even try.

I already upgraded my cellphone to an iPhone 16 Pro, which has the Apple Intelligence and Siri, which I have NOT really used frequently.

I do use AI LEO to query general searches and have used the Adobe Express premium for most of my designs.

I still have the opportunity to try but I feel like I’m being blocked/hindered from further pursuit or until next time whenever.

Maybe I should try practicing using different AI technology one-hour per day per that Live show/Video guy. But I failed to “follow-through” any opportunities, much like trying to do these simple exercises for balance for 21-days.

That’s all. End 1055 PST.

20241229-1025. Per a Twatter meme, I need to exercise to improve balance; because “balance is the first thing we loose as we age”.

So I’m watching the video and the exercises look simple enough. This video is from https://x.com/Artofphysique_

Here are the five exercises to improve balance:

• Sit and Stand 30 times
• Standing Heel Raises 30 times
• Leg Swings 30 times each side
• Hip Abduction 30 times each side
• Single Leg Stand 30 seconds hold each side

I noticed that if I skipped one day of any sort of exercises, I would feel the aches and pains crop up somewhere, somehow.

So besides doing gardening as a “hobby”, I’ll have to force myself to follow an exercise regime to feel good, which is part of the well-being.

I’m already getting “soft”, meaning it’s taking longer to heal from injuries sustained from doing routine work of mowing the lawn, pull-out weeds, sweeping up dried leaves and household chores, such as vacuuming.

I have sustained injuries from lifting heavy groceries, lawn equipment and even our small vacuum machine.

So by doing these simple exercises, I hope to improve my health and well-being after years of being lazy to change.

That’s all. End 1036 PST.

20241229-0941. According to my Weather app for iPhone, Monday tomorrow and Tuesday the following day should be full sunny.

I picked up my 15 pound, mini-broadcaster and weed and feed for our front yard lawn the day after Christmas. I might have to return the weed and feed because the weed portion might kill our variety of grass. But it might be okay.

I also bought a spray to kill weed AND grass. But I’ll have to return it because it might kill the grass where I intended to spray/target just the weed growing in our front yard lawn.

I got pissed off at my elderly father because he just doesn’t give a damned about spending money and probably didn’t want the grass in the first place

In his coconut head that he wanted to mow the lawn and nothing else. So that’s why we opted for “live grass” instead of “fake grass” or hollow blocks to block out the constant dried leaves.

But because he is elderly and VERY slow, I ended up mowing both of his lawns out front AND back! As a result, I’m getting injured: soft tissues like ligaments and tendons due to my statins.

And because I could see the color of the lawn is looking yellowish through our two Entryway and Front yard cameras, I could “feel” that this plant life form needs “food”, too, which is the “feed” portion in the bag that I bought/picked-up last week.

I missed the fall “feed” in the month of October. I hope this late application would be fine for spring. So I guess this would be my new hobby; since the OLD fart really is a low IQ type that doesn’t know anything new, including maintaining the beauty of his corner lot, especially his HUGE front lawn!

I complained and whined to my elderly father that we should have installed “fake grass”; so he won’t bother with gardening equipments.

Since his undiagnosed OCD has slowed down how he does yard work and since his back hurts after taking ALL the flu and COVID jabs/shots/vaccines, I ended up getting hurt mowing and weeding.

(Dad used to take the whole day “weeding”. He would sit down on a make-shift wooden stool the whole day to THROUGHLY pull-out and clean-up the affected landscape areas!)

On Friday, I was pulling out the beautiful oxalis yellow flowering plant life forms because the rain stopped and the air was VERY cold – cool enough for me to feel cooled down and easier to breath cold air.

The plant life was heavy from the rain so the flowers didn’t stand up beautifully or normally. So this was a good time for cleaning up our front yard planter strip.

I asked the plant life forms and spirits for permission if I could pull them up and out and that they are welcomed back as usual. And told the one lone Jade or lucky money plant that the other plant life forms that the others will come/grow back as always.

Usually our garbage pick-up falls on Friday. But because of the Christmas holiday, the pick-up days for that week is delayed by one day. So I took advantage of the weather and pulled “weeds”.

Then I hollered and screamed at my elderly father to hurry up, don his gardening attire including his home-made thin cotton mask and help to haul away my hard work of pulling weeds.

I unboxed my new green-colored “tarp” with four black handles. One black handle cheaply sewn in – broke; while Dad and I hauled the HEAVY bundle together! This HEAVY bundle almost filled our 96-gallon cart!

Then we swept up the dried leaves from the northwest area of maintenance: streets, gutters, curbs, our LONG planter strip and sidewalk. We also swept up dried leaves, dirt and debris from the northeast front yard area of maintenance.

I “forced” dad to help sweep up the dried but wet and sticky leaves stuck underneath our black chain link fence; while I installed the super-reflective 20 piece fluorescent yellow-green stickers to our black chain link fence. I needed his presence as a “cover” and shield while I finished applying 10 super-reflective stickers.

The purpose is to reflect back bad/inauspicious FENG SHUI or shar-chi back to the cartels, gangs and other incoming traffic with their blinding LED lights or high-beam halogens. I curse y’all for intentional afflictions basically.

That’s all. End 1022 PST.

20241229-0928. I actually like creating for fun and for others. I like drawing and coloring! Last year and for the first time ever, I submitted countless book designs.

And the Live show/Video guy chose the first few samples for members to vote and he ultimately selected one that I did NOT like.

The dark font colors and style for the book title on top looked difficult to see against the black background and did NOT match his subtitle at the bottom!

I was the first few to buy his paperback books: one is the main meat and potatoes and the second is a “glossary” or supplement from the first one.

I liked the second book because I worked VERY hard to the two images that I “borrowed/stole” from his Telegram channel.

I had to clean-up one small black and white image with Photoshop and adjust the color, opacity and saturation of his image which he overlayed an AI bot guy over a cell tower.

So I enjoyed designing at home using the Adobe products and that was VERY fulfilling compared to being a “cubicle slave” or data entry clerk in the accounting and finance department setting.

That’s all. End 0940 PST.

20241229-0917. Per a Twatter meme about “character” and per an investment word “growth”, I would “value” my core character from my ancestry to my present experiences over the “value” of what other’s think or say about me.

Of course, I try to “dance to the music”, compromise, adapt, adjust, “play along”, “get along” to the expectations of others – just to belong to any group, which almost always “spit me out” of their cult or channels.

Whether at home or at work, I find myself being all by myself, alone with my intrusive and incoming thoughts, but NOT lonely, knowing that no matter what I say or do, I can’t change into or become something that I’m NOT designed to accomplish.

That’s all. End 0925 PST.