Tag: relationships

  • Blessed Bees

    This morning Maw had asked questions of which I could not tell lies. The truth came out regarding generosity and how to know when to help other in the most need of “thy mercy”. As a result, my thorn has been removed.

    Afterwards, the beautiful sylphs came out as we drove Paw to his bank to make a transfer. The rest is to up Pete and pals to repay my parents. Without my parents, I would be homeless. Without my parents, I would be starving, sick and dying. Without my parents, I would be just another lost soul.

    It was all about trust and faith. Maw cried that she knew something was wrong with me and asked God for guidance. Her prayers were answered; for she cannot die, knowing her family needed her. My prayers were answered knowing that I cannot stop being charitable but know now to take care of myself.

    It’s because people won’t be there to help me. I have few if any friends. But there are small blessings returned of which I feel without monetary value. It’s the waiting and expecting that are not important but believing in the will of God. Amen.

  • Happy Three Hours

    From 5:15pm to 8:45pm, the eight of us had drinks at Pedro’s. I drank two “blended” Margarita for $3.50 each. The taste was watery and the effects were weak. After one glass I was loud. After two glasses I was drunk. Then I drank one half more of bitter-tasting beer. I didn’t talk much because I couldn’t hear over the loudness and didn’t understand the conversation or get their jokes.

    John did most of the loud talking about his dad and joked about his South Asian Indian culture. He looks Mexican. Chris drank many more pints of beer as did the other three guys. I helped pour the damn swill in their tall glasses. Apparently, he is a buddy of John. They both think Sadaf is beautiful. She’s clueless but has a good head on her shoulders. Steve had a non-responsive “poker face”. I’d hate to know his dark side. Roy, Phan, Erica and Charissa talked among themselves.

    I just wanted to drink and didn’t care for talking. I kept my hands over my mouth the whole time: It’s an “Asian” style of respect, almost like Muslim women who don’t need to say much or show their faces like moi. I hate crowds and would prefer quite times with a nice guy at the beach, for example. But because God and pals hate my guts by sticking me with these turds, I too will never get to know my twin-soul. I hate working at this BORING temp job from hell and I hate people talking too much. I really miss working at C!sco.

  • All Good

    “Everything will be good!”

    ~Fat bastard a few days ago…

    Yeah! Right! Whatever! I must be dreaming and wishing on a star to believe that crap after ten slong years.

    Since I cannot stop my “bad habit” of spending beyond my means, even if it’s for the sake of those in the most need of “thy mercy” (or this addiction similar to gambling but a euphemism akin to investing), God (or the “wanne-be” God Within) should exercise extreme mercy to those offending puss-heads.

    Is that it? Should I let TPTB get away with nonsense and go away silently into the night and never be heard of ever again as if I’m better off dead than alive – like most celebrities who choose to “disappear” someway? Bullsh!t! People cannot be that stupid enough to be “good Samaritans”, right? The Feds should know by now what I mean. Sheesh!

    Actually, I really don’t care anymore because I believe in picking up my own pieces and suffer a fate by my own hands. My nerves are already fried and the pain has DEFINITELY been taken away by prayers sent to the recently deceased, meaning I am numb to circumstances and don’t feel anything, except pressure in my ENT areas, coldness inside my being and stiffness in my bunions. Everything else has been learned with great difficulty.

  • Being Served

    I love being served for dinner. Every night after a hard day’s work, the three of us would sit down to the meals cooked by Maw. Some days Paw would prefer food already cooked by others. But Maw’s food is from her heart. Her food feeds her family with love. No wonder we are fat!

    Tonight is no exception. At 7:53am the doorbell rang. It was an old guy with gray hair. He wore dark blue-gray jacket. He had some papers. He tore one page from the stapled stack, handed me the stack and left silently into the night without incident. I was left with my mind saying: “Screw you”. He just did his job for and behalf of TPTB and pals by “screwing me”.

    So with that said: “I hate you all”. What has taken over ten slong years, goes down like that in similar fashion – divorce court, where one side is wronged because of their English words; while the other side feels nothing was done wrong except try to help people.

    This latest wake-up call provided me a glimpse of their usual tears-for-fears tactics (albeit food-for-oil deals) for hapless poor and destitute folks, like moi. TPTB are just waiting to see what shakes out – to get even or to lay low. Well, I believe I’ve been lying down on my back for too slong – don’t you think Pete?

    It’s the vicious cycle of life and debt. The Oroubous won’t stop eating its own tail:- What goes around, comes around! Somehow, I feel the buck as to stop here with moi. Like others per their online complaints, these “mules” have taken up their monetary crosses by these double-crossers, who are behind their government cross-hairs.

    Oh, but these snakes are well prepared to cover their bases. They don’t care because they are heartless, demon-seeds. Oh, I should be more sensitive to these “gifted” liars, who continue their delay or snag tactic, and not label them in such evil ways as their “axis” spins like a merry-go-round. The Oroubous, remember?

    The ones that don’t care, just really do NOT care to loose what isn’t theirs to keep.They are truly blessed. I too am truly blessed for servicing in many ways – the love and comfort of family and the beautiful weather and the health of body and mind.

    But I’ll admit. I am selfish. I don’t know how to give from the heart. Money speaks easier and that’s my greatest fear — to loose everything I believe in and worked hard for and most importantly — the fear of loosing those I love, who go without the essentials in life, such as food, clothing and shelter.

    Do you understand where I’m going with this one, Pete? And who are those guys you mentioned in the past? Are they here in America? You know what I mean! Come on!

    Anyway, and this is what I get in return – being served by their own kinds – what I truly deserve for being a “good Samaritan”. Tonight made me quite fearful and humored that TPTB would dare do that to people like moi. Why don’t you, TPTB and pals, just shut-down the whole system and start over?

    Each of us is worth more than what is printed on pieces of paper. For us slaves, we are just not playing anymore. You can keep your fame and fortune. I prefer to remain anonymous – an Asian with Oreo sentiments.

    You had played by their laws, rules and regulations for too long. But you failed to keep your words – promises and guarantees – which in turn hopefully won’t betray my promises to a fine lad.

    Damn! Besides his good heart, he is good looking, too! If he’s the One you have set me up with, that’s cool! But for how long must I wait before the ball-and-chains tied around my ankles and theirs end up drowning all of us – your “relative” kind? You and they possess “special gifts”, remember?

    This temp job from hell is but a small life preserver for my family and me. And I thank you. But alas, the stock sank today and that’s not good news in the least bit for us INVESTORS!

    That’s right! If George Soros (another fall guy) got your kinds around the neck worldwide, will you have sold yourselves out for the greater good? Gosh, that sounded Communist!

    So I’ll leave that “food for thought” with you and whatever is left of your moral compass. Hope you have a good night’s sleep.

  • Control Freaks

    “I like control.”

    ~JenJen

    —

    Well, I’m a worse control freak and fearless, too. I’m reviewing the “shared drives” and cleaned up my folder and one other and deleted some of JenJen’s folders. It’s not logical.

    Anyway, my folder appears right below Erica’s as Flynn. For the real snoopers, the timedate stamp for my spreadsheets indicate how far along I’ve completed each task.

    So those stupid emails inquiring about our completion of each work pisses me off. Just look at the tree of my folder and you will see how I think and operate. This place is full of morons! Sheesh!

  • 20101110-More Spooks

    So that’s how it goes with this damn company. People are finding out information about each other more than necessary. That’s what happened last month. I revealed a lot of personal stuff, which is good because it means they can’t force me to spend what I don’t have! I notice how certain “spooks” are assigned to assess the other person or the temporary workers. That’s what happened with my former micro-manager, Corinne. She’d take us out to lunch at company expense and ask lots of personal questions.

    No wonder Mike can speak a few Filipino words to moi — to gain my confidence. No wonder Steve keeps getting up and following JenJen to either the restroom or mini-lunch room. WTF? No wonder the thugs wearing mostly black clothing wave at JenJen. No wonder gays and lesbians look at me funny. No wonder at least two obviously bald guys walk up and down my aisle. It’s no wonder that this company has outsourced the bulk of its production to HONG KONG! It’s a mostly Asian-based company!

    Do you want to know something? Go screw yourselves, losers! Get a life and stop labeling me! Don’t you get it? I’m an American and don’t have anything do with Asians! That’s right! I hate being Asian! I hate being an Oreo, too – marshmallow goodness on the inside and chocolate sinful on the outside. That’s right! Just because I have dark hair and small, slanted eyes doesn’t mean I’m Asian! Okay, fine! I’m Asian. If it’s easier for you freaks to figure me out – I’m Asian! Get it? Sheesh!

  • 20101109-More Spooks

    En route from the mini-lunch room to my desk, there were two guys that actually looked back and over their right shoulder into my direction:

    Yesterday evening, it was the gay, white guy. He is tall and skinny and definitely walks with a peculiar stride as he sashays to the back door. Just like Josey and moi, he wears his shades over his somewhat balding head. This guy really likes to leave in a hurry and rams open the back door like the more traditional Chinese workers here. I sent him a thought to “chill out, freak!”

    This evening, it was the tanned, Chinese guy. He, too is tall and skinny. For whatever reason, he always look like he sweats. It’s because he plays sports or works out. I don’t know. He always has this smirk on his face as he glances at my desk en route to the back door. I sent him a thought to “shut up, freak!”

    So whatever is going on, I really don’t remember why I’m stuck here with these damn losers and don’t know what I’m supposed to do, except curse TPTB, Pete and pals. As for the rest of you: “Go screw yourselves! Get a life and stop minding my business, freaks!”

  • 20101109-Weathery Ways

    The weather for today and yesterday was wonderful – lots fresh air and cold winds. The sunshine shone brightly. The skies were crispy and blue. Monday’s surprise was the fallen leaves all over the place! The back parking lot was especially littered with colors of brown, gold and orange. A long length of several sylphs appeared near the SJC today, too.

    Yesterday’s lunch walk was fun as I constantly adjusted my matching scarf to my hat from my childhood; tugged at my underwear which kept riding up my pants and knew Mike was following right behind because of his peculiar “high-pitched” voice while talking over the cellphone. He hasn’t been greeting moi all that much. It must have been my effective efforts to severe the reptoid’s imaginary tentacles.

    Like yesterday, I skipped, hopped and kicked some nice leaves in delight as I imagined walking through deeper piles of leaves in the forest. That was actually my first time to enjoy the outdoors and its first yield of dried leaves since my childhood. Today was a little warmer because the winds didn’t blow that much and I’ve recovered a little after a week of feeling sick.

    After my walk yesterday and en route back to work, a white utility van was parked at the opposite end of the cul-de-sac to the back parking lot. Upon my arrival, a brunette-haired lady stepped out of her driver’s side while talking on the phone. I had to cross 50 yards earlier to avoid a confrontation of any sorts and ended up “making a left turn”.

    I swear! There is not one day when my happiness is met with spooks!

  • Master Speaks

    Tai-Chi Master. He spoke ~softly~ to me for five minutes. VERY friendly guy. Talks to everyone here at work.

    “Relax. Walk slower. Chest out. Less tension on upper back.”

    He closed his eyes. He had a gentle grin on his face. I tried but only for 15 seconds and giggled. My eyes wouldn’t stop quivering.

    Thank you. I’ll need to “request” his CD and have him sign it one day.

  • Kindness Clueless

    Last Friday, I had to walk once around the building for about 15 minutes because I was still feeling sick. Then I rested in the passenger seat of my car for another 30 minutes until 1:15PM when I decided to do a “drink run” at Starbucks.

    I bought two venti-sized “Tazo® Shaken Iced Green Tea” worth $2.30 each for Theresa and JenJen, whom I felt didn’t want the drink but would prefer a “Tazo® Shaken Iced Passion Tea” instead. Next time, I’ll giver her a gift card. Sheesh.

    “It’s the best!”

    Theresa was VERY grateful for this surprise drink because her morning “bath” caused her to burn. She had to go to the doctor for some cream: That’s why she was late that morning. I’m like in my mind: “Eww! Do I have to know this personal information? What’s the point? Just enjoy the drink for crying out loud.”

    As for Mike, he likes a SHORT “Tazo® Chai Tea Latte” because he is getting:

    “Matabah!”

    He patted his tummy like a child and smiled. He aged! I’m like in my mind: “Come on! Wouldn’t you prefer a Grandé-sized, Peppermit Mocha with whipped cream? I have it right here in my hands! It’s free for your $2.00 kindness in buying me a DRY, 2 piece Falafel Ball! [Snickering]” Next time, I’ll give him a piece of my mind or a gift card for yucking up with me in the past. Sheesh!

    —

    That’s it! No wonder I don’t go shopping: It’s hard finding the right gifts and/or goodies for each person, let alone for myself! Buying food and clothing is especially difficult. Nothing seems right with me, which is why I prefer to let the wiser folks decide as the “brains” while I support as the “brauns”.

  • 20101105-Noticing Numbers

    Here is an image showing Paw’s odometer reading as 33,333:

    Odometer Reading
    Odometer of Five Three's

    Paw was excited and asked if I had my camera to take a photo of his odometer. He noticed the number turned just as he made a left turn into MY road en route to that morning’s mass. I took a lot of photos, which were mostly blurry because the light was too dim and the flash was too bright.

  • 20101107-Weathery Ways

    The whole day has been rainy, mostly light showers – off and on. Now the sunshine is coming out through the gray clouds. I could see some patches of blue skies. Wow! It’s 3:23PM (PST) and I’ll say: “I love you sunshine!”

    Maw and I watered the persimmon and other fruit trees in our backyard with the 5 gallon buckets of rain water, collected from the sawed-off gutter. The water appeared “foamy” and I touched it. That’s why I had to take a quick shower after lifting those damn plastic containers to water the trees.

    I feel relaxed and overate lunch.