20241230-2330. The last I cried from “real” hurt feelings was when my younger brother made me cry. Little did I know back then that I was having my regular monthly menses. And so that was an emotional time. But that was only once and I felt truly embarrassed and stupid. Since then I refused to cry for the littlest things.
Five years ago, I did NOT feel like I needed to grieve. On that same evening, I felt grief. But after that, I stopped the grief to keep on going.
But when little Mel-Mel passed away, that was when I truly felt grief. I told myself that’s also going to pass with time but never did.
So that’s just something I forced myself to choose. I tried to force a cry during moments of remembrance or to let tears fall to test if the feeling is genuine, but the feeling is fake, if y’all will.
That’s all. End 2335 PST.