20241229-1102. I feel like an introvert but I am NOT anti-social. I would love the company of others and tend to talk loud and about wild stuff to no end.
But after reaching my age now, I have dealt with the stress and anxiety of imaging what people thought and said about me without ever knowing if anything was true or NOT.
I dreaded just hearing about being invited to parties or any sort of celebration or social function.
Now after the COVIDIAN lockdowns and after leaving the both main SVP church choir and the city’s SJSC, I feel more calm and relaxed than ever before!
Before all that, I was struggling to overcome the overwhelming feeling of being bullied like what happened with Lolita, the coo-coo NextDoor neighbor.
That torture is behind me now as I’m more empowered to accept my fate that everything is illusory and any afflictions, challenges, obstacles that cross my path to spiritual enlightenment are but harsh teachers.
I’ve learned “actually” to miss seeing my relatives and didn’t flinch or feel resentful to hug them. I went up boldly to hug my estranged nieces and nephews, too.
I don’t care anymore to go outdoor and out the front yard even knowing that the coo-coo NextDoor neighbor might get triggered at my presence and start bullying me again.
That’s all. End 1110 PST.